Won't date till I'm skinny Is that wrong??

[Anonymous]

I figure that I won't date until I'm skinny and it's not a choice it's just that I feel I have to be a certain weight before I can be with someone and it really sucks because there's this hot guy that I have been talking to and he wants to go out but I don't want to because I don't feel attractive right now but he thinks I'm not interested in him because I won't go out with him but he wouldn't understand. 21 and never had a boyfriend what can I do? I'm trying to lose the weight now but I am a compulsive eater so my weight goes up and down and I'm stuck because I feel my life won't start until I'm skinny anyone's had this problem?

[drstms]

Who told you you aren't attractive? They are a liar and they are not looking out for your best interests, but trying to steal everything you could have, kill the person you are and destroy everything you have ever accomplished,

You are a compulsive eater. Has anyone ever suggested you talk to God about this. I have found that when I am doing something that hurts anyone, including my self, it is because I am trying to distract my self from, or anesthetize, a wound that I received to my soul, in the past. In other words, when I was thirty two and chose to marry a woman who couldn't have children, who would never really commit but, later leave me without looking back unless she "felt" lonely, I was reacting to an incident that happened when I was eight years old, where I vowed to never have children, because I refused to be like my dad.

When I learned I had made that vow, I had to let God take me back to process the emotions of the event where the vow originated, grieving the pain and loss, so I could receive the freedom that was on the other side. I have grieved a lot more junk that contributed to my choice of a wife, grieved the loss of that wife, and grieved a lot of stuff that would have kept me in an unhealthy cycle of seeking intimacy that was physical when, what I really wanted and needed was intimacy that was mental, emotional and spiritual. Now I can see how much pain I have survived, how I survived it, how God has healed it, and how God is utilizing me to lead others into His healing.

To that end, I can tell you that God made you. He loves you, as you are. You are precious in His sight, and He never takes His eyes off you. He adores you and he has brought a man into your life who is willing to adore you, and who you, apparently, would like to adore too. Why would you listen to, and agree with, the enemy of your soul who accuses you of not being attractive, when the evidence says otherwise. More than likely, the enemy came to you at a point where you were hurting and promised to help you make sense of the situation, where you were hurt. He then offered the reasoning that you were reponsible and needed to change your self so you wouldn't be hurt again. You find comfort in food, so you condemn your self for eating, agreeing with the enemy, agree with him regarding your appearance and probably even argue with God for making you the way you are. Stop it!

If anyone accuses you of being your behavior, whether in your head, or otherwise, call them on the lie and let them know you are a creation of the God who created this universe and He didn't create anything that wasn't awesome and wonderful. Stop agreeing with the enemy and start listening to, and agreeing with, God. He differentiates between you and your behavior and, even while chastising your behavior, affirms you. The enemy says you are fat. God says "Cindy, I love, adore, cherish and treasure you, you don't need to eat that, and your body won't take it well."

[Anonymous]

omg! I thought I was the only one!my weight goes up and down like a yo yo. I won't get close to a guy unless I'm skinny and lately I won't go out to my friends unless I'm skinny and its effecting my life so badly. like right now I'm starving myself to try lose weight before I go out with my friends on the weekend and if I don't then I won't go out with them.ive been counseling and all for this and my counselor even told me that I won't be happy until I lose weight and it is purely as simple as that. I don't know how to help you but I'm in the same dilemma so I thought I would tell you.ive been going through this for 2years now please don't make it be any longer for you.im 5ft 1 and 132pounds and I don't know what I'm going to do if I don't lose weight

[Asker]

Wow yeah we have a similar problem and it is true it's also affecting my social life because if I don't lose some weight before I meet out with them then I won't go. I'm even flaking out of my friends Bbay party because I feel gross. yeah I'm 5'2 and went from being 140 to right now 164 in a span of a month and I'm really disappointing in myself thanks for sharing hope you lose the weight as well

[Opinion Owner]

Thank you so do I !!

[afterschoolgirl]

ok, make yourself a new promise: don't have sex w/him until you're skinny. that's the reason I use not to give in too soon, although when I do reach my target weight I'll probably still think I'm unattractive naked.

Look, guys aren't as critical/judgmental as we are. This guy likes you -- he said so. Trust me, he won't (and most guys won't) care how their girls look like naked if they're NAKED, and they're attracted to her in the first place.

Just go out with him!

[minnie-mouse1289]

I think you have to stop worrying over your weight to that excessive point. That doesn't help the disorder and probably aids it. It's always nice to try and improve oneself but to punish oneself like that for not being something is stressful. Girl you better get him he likes you for who you are but if you feel you need to concentrate on yourself 1st do that then reap the rewards. Trust me not every man likes skinny women everyone is diverse just be a healthy sexy you!

[Riingo]

If he likes you, he likes you how you are now. It's fine to desire to lose weight but don't miss out on a guy you like who's interested in you. Maybe he'll be your first boyfriend! :)

[hafasa]

well, since he wants to go out with you he obviously thinks you are attractive or he doesn't care about the weight and he likes you for who you are. basically,

JUST GO OUT WITH HIM

[garmstrong5215]

This is EXACTLY how I feel!