How to tell your girlfriend / wife she's getting fat and it's affecting your sex drive (with her at least)?

[myhanson]

[CubsterShura]

No offense but if you're wife's weight is affecting your love and drive for her then you don't love her enough. But it doesn't mean you can't be concerned about your partner's growing weight. My dad is always telling my mom to workout with him and stuff etc, but that's because my mom's risk of certain diseases are a lot higher and it breaks him inside to see my mom in pain. He has always been a rough man from outside but soft as butter from inside.

Anyway. If you really wanna do anything about her weight: you start healthy eating and exercising yourself and motivate your wife to join you. Do them together, cook with her, have fun with it. You don't have to do boring workouts to lose weight. Dance with her, do hula-hooping together. And you can do so much more. Cycling, swimming, a race. Make sure you have fun, and don't forget cheat days together too!

Two more things that helps in losing weight are horror films and more sex. I know your drive is poorer now but still try it as much as you can.

I noticed that energetic women are attractive at any size. Add some date fruits to her diet for increasing her energy level. Try meditation.

These are the best tips I could give you. But if you really feel like you lost feelings for her, please don't ruin her life by staying with her. Divorce immediately.

[silverblood]

first off, there is no "right" way of telling her that. but if you don't wish to be a d-bag then maybe getting a membership to a gym or getting a subscription to a healthy recipe site or podcast etc for the both of you could be helpful. bringing up that you heard a friend talking about couples walking/camping groups, or some other activity/sport that couples could do, could be helpful. the big thing to remember is it can't hurt both of you to get a bit more in shape or eat healthy, and it may not be "just" her that "needs" to change.

If you both are super open and questions /statements like that are cool with you both, then maybe asking her is there something about you that she finds a turn off, and go from there haha.

[aicarg]

Best way to approach the situation is straight from the begining. Most I see who spiral down and lose control of their weight is during a time of stress where they just over indulge. Motivate her to go out with you and do physical activities outdoors, tell her you wish to workout together (saying goes: couples who workout together stay together), and lastly, grocery shop and meal plan together. Let her know out of live and respect that you wish to see her at her optimal self and you're keen on helping her do that as you love her.

[RJGraveyTrain]

It's best to catch it before it gets out of control, but know when to say something. A lb or 2 isn't gonna hurt anyone, but once it gets to be an issue, the best thing to do is suggest healthy eating and working out. If they don't respond to that let them know that you're concerned for their health, and if need be, tell them that it's starting to effect how you feel towards them intimately. Reiterate that you love them, you aren't going to just abandon them, but it is something that concerns you.

[Cody01]

Get hard when your about to Fuck then think about old grandpa dick fucking a criminal that murdered your family then get soft and that'll send the message to her that she's not as attractive as she use to be. because she'll think you went soft because of her. Unless she kills your boner already.
Or just tell her straight up if you want to go the direct route that will effect her less emotionally.

[Browneye57]

Make sure you're not the fatty as well.
If you are, then suggest a fitness program for you both.

Is she participating in any kind of fitness at all? At least daily walking?

It is better to 'encourage' than to criticize - you'll get a lot more traction with the former.

[NogardaCurse]

My advise, tell her some time where she will have time to cool off and think afterword. Like, imediately afterword. And when you tell her, tell her something possitive, then tell her the negative, and try to end with a positive, and if you can't end with a positive, at least give her some time tothink about it

[Warmapplecrumble]

1. Sit down some where quiet with spouse.
2. Protect yourself.
3. Get a tissue box.
4. Talk a long pause. Say to the spouse "you won't like what I say..."
pause
"Honey I am so sorry... I don't mean to he rude but... you are becoming too fat and it's affecting my sex drive."

5. Wait for her response
6. Hug her

[Warmapplecrumble]

Take not talk********

[LovelyFlower]

It's most definitely not going to be a very cheery conversation but I think you need to say something to her... but in a nice way. I'm not quite sure what that would be though, lol. Just say what you are feeling & how her body is making you have less desire for her. I think that working out together will allow y'all to spend some time together. Or suggest activities that would put you guys outdoors and encourage exercise... Bike riding, hiking, sports.

[menina]

This a tough question and difficult situation. You don't want to hurt her feelings, but at the same you want to solve this problem.
Maybe you should ask her if she feels comfortable with her body. If she says she's doesn't, then ask her what does she thinks it's wrong with it.
Then, tell her that you're going to start doing exercise with her. That you're going to help her, because you want her to feel good about herself.

[browneyedgirl88]

It's a difficult situation, because you don't want to hurt her feelings but a person should still respect and take care of their body if they want others to do the same, Guys usually know that I like someone who takes care of themselves as I do the same, and you should just talk to her and see if there is something stressing her out and causing her to gain weight ir lose motivation or something, but definitely don't just say she's getting fat and isn't hot anymore, that's hurtful

[Tashasweets23]

Meal prep healthy meals together and workout are easy. If she's smart she might catch on to that if you don't want to tell her directly. Try to signing up for a co-ed sport or couples dancing. Start taking evening walks and tell her to come along. Ride bikes or rollerblade. All are good exercises and would be fun together.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she has gained weight because of depressed? Or maybe she just feels comfortable around you and believes you will love her at whatever size she is?

Also, don't be one of those guys who are big themselves but want their woman to be skinny. That's double standards and totally ain't cool :/

[Anonymous]

This is something you have to deal with early on in the relationship while she's still slim, because they get really offended when they're already fat. I just mention indirectly that I could never stay with someone who got fat and refused to do anything about it, then they know what my expectations are.

[3va11]

always be honest, better to tell her before it becomes a youed rather cheat then have sex with her. make a healthy home dinner and then discuss it, wear a cup for protection

[johari]

You don't tell her, you show her... like say you'd like to try a new position. If she's not flexible enough to do it like before tell her you miss doing that one.
Workout with her, exercise is fun to do. Some stretches are partner orientated

[Alpha_Soup]

Tell her that you want to exercise with her as a couple to be healthy. Don't bluntly tell her she's overweight, ease up to it by working together for a common goal (for healthiness).

[momo770]

I don't think you should ever come out and say you are a fat slob and I am not attracted to you. Is that what you're asking? Working out together would be the best way to go.

[Pipi769]

JUst tell her. No sugar coating. She needs to know the truth. I would appreciate it if my boyfriend politely told me the truth if that was the case

[Fancygoldfish]

Go workout at the gym together and you won't even need the talk. Working out is addicting and feels good and makes you horny. Take her with you.

[luvstoned4him]

Maybe get her intrigued in going gym and keeping fit. You both could do that together.

[WiseTurtle]

7,6 looks perfectly fine and 4,5 will be enough to tell her that she's gaining too much weight

[JustCallMeLeon]

You should definitely talk about it when its managable, during the beginning. My advice is to talk straight but not be mean. Dont drop hints. Just state the problem and its a matter of respect.

[Anonymous]

Why can't you help her be more healthy instead of making her feel worthless? You sound like a piece of garbage. I hope she dumps your ass.

[ImTinkerbell]

Maybe talk about y'all eating healthier and working out together.

[Anonymous]

I don't know. Many people will just get mad no matter what you tell them. And if you say nothing they will get mad that you lost attraction for her. It seems like a no win situation.