My friend is having both of her legs amputated tomorrow... I feel so numb. She has schizophrenia and went off her medication?

[MsJiff]

She decided to go for A 20 mile walk in -30°C weather. I’m going to visit her on Saturday. My poor girl:( I am kind of at a loss of words. What you say to somebody that just lost both of their legs just underneath their knees? Im between feeling like vomiting, crying, and wanting to punch something (soft). Give me something GaG... No Trolls. Im hurting!!

[NearlyNapping]

If she's in the hospital, she may be on meds and under control. If she is, she may act normally and have tons of regrets.

She may also be emotionally numb and act like she doesn't care, not even about her legs. She might be completely emotionally dead inside and in a place where you can't reach her.

If she's lethargic, I'm not sure there is much you can do or say. She could be completely non-responsive. You can and should still talk to her, but don't expect much.

She may also be completely irrational and say things that make no sense at all. I'm not sure of the best approach here, except I think you should talk to her rationally. For example ask, "Does that make sense to you?". Enforce what's real. Be gentle with the things that are not real and don't push too hard on it. But don't play along with it either.

By the way, how old is she?

[MsJiff]

Early 30’s

[MsJiff]

Thank you... still crying

[NearlyNapping]

I asked because you are 37 and I think this most commonly develops in teens or early adulthood.

Do you even know if the schizophrenia is under control?

[MsJiff]

Yes and no. I had epilepsy is a child so I know how hard it is and how much medication changes you when you take it. You’re not you anymore and it’s really tough. But I don’t know schizophrenia and I just want my friends to be ok

[NearlyNapping]

Schizophrenia can be a real tough one. It can be completely devastating. If it's not under control, most of what's going on inside of her will not be visible to you. Her mind will be going everywhere, like complete chaos. But most of that won't be visible to you. She might not seem right, but whatever you see is just the tip of the iceburg.

People can and do get over it, but it can be a very rough road. It can also be VERY hard on people around them. I hate to say it, but if it starts dragging you down with it, you might have to bail.

I've known several people who have gotten over it and lived long productive lives.

[ThatPersonOverThere]

Just so you know, I am really holding back the phacicious comments right now...

I guess the most you can do is let her know that you're there... but don't do anything that she is able to do herself. May sound harsh but that is a rule that physical therapists will tell you.

Remind her that she WILL still have a very fullfilled life. She can still drive, have kids, find love, have a good career, etc. There are very few worthwhile pursuits which require the use of legs.

She's not disabled, just differently abled. But it should help when you realize that we are all born different to begin with. We all have our advantages and our handicaps. Everybody in life has the same choice... to roll over and die or play the hand you're dealt.

Best wishes to you both

[MsJiff]

You just made me cry... again... thank you, what you said means a lot to me.

[Flower-petal]

That's terrible. I guess you can't really say anything.

[Finchie40]

I'm so sorry to hear this that has to be devastating , only thing you can do is just be the friend you always were to her that's what she needs don't run in like you're going to take care of her just be her support , don't mention anything negative to her about what made her do it or what was she thinking , just stay positive for her and let her know that you still love her and there for her talk to her like you did before the incident , she needs your friend support the most not someone making her feel that her life will never be the same

[MacGyver7754]

I'm truly sorry to hear that, I can't offer much help but wanted to say I feel for you and her both. Only thing I can remotely offer as advice is my sisters dog was paralyzed and everyone kept tell her she was a bad person for not putting her down cause she would never walk again. But nobody told the dog cause she can out run me now granted on 2 legs but sense she truly doesn't care about looks she is one of the happiest dogs I've ever seen. So I guess what I mean is losing her legs is way better than losing her. I'm sorry again

[Fran1981]

Do some research about the recovery process and the what she can do later, kinds of prosthetic legs, things like that. Then when you talk to her if she is down and sorry for herself you'll have scientific info to tell her that she can have a normal life afterwards and is gonna be ok. Above all, as a good friend be there for here, and try to be stronger than she is right now, she will probably need support

[MsJiff]

I will, but I think it might Be too soon for that I think she just needs a shoulder

[Fran1981]

A very important thing. You must ve in a good shape yourself to be there for her. A broken person isn't of much help to another broken one. I know it's hard to hear but it's true

[1armBandit]

Omg, I'm so sorry to hear it... U can't go there talking bout her missing legs... U need to be the best friend that u can I'm these times... I lost my right arm in a work accident and while in tbe hospital I didn't wanna here all the potty from everyone, I just wanted to hear people talking to me like they always had bout things we were gonna do not bout things that we might be able to do... At that time I didn't wanna hear get maybe... U know what I mean... Its gonna take a while before she wants to talk bout it... That's just my opinion because of loosinf my arm just below my elbow... I do hope that I helped a bit..

[FakeName123]

Honestly, if its that bad and there is no signs of improvement - you should really try to find peace with things going even worse from here on out.

It sucks and is a tough pill to swallow, but better prepare yourself mentally now than being overwhelmed when it actually happens.

[MsJiff]

Surgery is at 10am today. I can’t see her till tomorrow.

[Duke1985]

No words. Just be there, hold her. And be aware that not only her, but also your life will change now. The real gift is not to give up on her now. There's lost of alternatives nowadays. This all takes a lot of time, money, persistence and patience. But for now: just be there and cry with her.

[MsJiff]

Thank you. All of this advice really helps!

[Wollu]

Think of the new options. She could have those special prosthesis with which you are able to run faster than a normally build person. Don’t think about the downside

https://carboncostume.com/gazelle/

[Wollu]

Friend of mine wanted to die. Threw himself under the tramway. Lost both legs. He was never depressed again. He had more girlfriend than ever before. His life turned to the positive. He told me not to pity him. He feels as good as it gets.

[markscott]

Just being with her, hugging her, showing that you care, is about the most important thing to do. There are no words that will change any of this, but comfort and caring are always important.

[timbo2]

There really isn't anything to say, other than reassuring her. Just be there for your friend she will need your help to stay in good spirits, both physically and mentally.

[NerdInDenial]

There’s nothing you can say. The only thing now is to provide encouragement that she can walk again one day

[MsJiff]

Yes. Tell her she is beautiful just the way she is no matter what she looks like. Hhhhmmmmm I don’t know though that might be too soon so I really want to tell her that.

[Decentguy]

what the fuck does schizophrenia has to do with that?

[Decentguy]

did her doctor said anything about schizophrenia, regarding to her legs part? that it was connected?

[NearlyNapping]

Probably the reason why she walked 20 miles in -30 weather.

[MsJiff]

She went off her pills. That’s all I’ve heard. I don’t have schizophrenia so I have no idea what it’s like, what it does to someone. This is a completely innocent answer. If you can explain I’d love to understand. I’m just hurting for my friend.

[Decentguy]

@NearlyNapping man i fucking hate listening to people problems, regarding to schizophrenia.
because i myself is also a shcizophernic, and i fear the day, someday im gonna loose myself, and be a psychotic freak

[Decentguy]

yeah im just freaking out, because im also a schizophrenic

[NearlyNapping]

@Decentguy
It sounds like it's controlled in you. Either it's not too severe, or the meds are working. As long as you monitor yourself and keep up with meds, you'll probably be OK.

[MsJiff]

Thank you for having this conversation... I’m still crying. Does schizophrenia caused people to do something like this? I have no way idea and I want to learn.

[MsJiff]

Minus the “way” ... I’ve been drinking red wine.

[NearlyNapping]

@MsJiff

If you don't understand, schizophrenia can cause a person to act very irrationally. In her mind she probably had a reason for going on that walk. It might seem completely irrational to other people, but to her there was a reason for it. It might have been a "voice" or message telling her to do it. It might have been some twisted irrational interpretation of things in her life. But whatever it was, it's what made sense to her at the time.

[Decentguy]

yeah, mostly, Schizophrenic's become insane, because of their voices in their head, that told them to do insane things

[Decentguy]

@NearlyNapping i was a insane person before, a lot of years ago, and im not on medication since at least 5 years now

[Decentguy]

sometimes, their voices, told them to kill someone and murder someone too

[MsJiff]

It’s hard to read this though my tears. Please you guys take care of yourselves OK!! I kneed to know how to react to this when I visit her in the hospital... please help me!!

[Decentguy]

it depends on her condition, and how long she's been off meds.

[NearlyNapping]

@Decentguy
If it's been five years, you are probably well out of the danger zone.

@MsJiff

I'll answer in my own comment instead of hijacking Decentguy's comment.

[MsJiff]

She’s been in the hospital 3 weeks (none of her friends knew, apparently she gave away her cell phone week before) i just found tonight

[Decentguy]

@NearlyNapping naah its ok man, no prob

[dardorsama]

So she didn't lose them from an accident. She lost them from a frost bite right?

[bootstrap437]

Its really sad. my condolences with her.. just tell her this is not the end of life its a new beginning no doubt a tough one

[olister]

Sorry for your friend. Stay near. She will need you.

[BagoFit]

What are you going to say nothing... All she needs to know is one thing. She fucked up big time, ain't no coming back from that.

[MsJiff]

You’re a dick!!! Being born with a chemical imbalance in your brain is not you’re effing choice. Leave my feed!

[BagoFit]

Calm down woman

[MsJiff]

My friend is losing both of her legs!!! You can either give good advice or leave my feed!

[MsJiff]

Oh, and by the way... never say “calm down” to a sad or angry woman!

[daisyriddle]

What an insensitive piece of shit

[BagoFit]

harsh reality accept it

[MsJiff]

Hey...@BagoFit... eat a BagoDicks!!

[daisyriddle]

Do you even know what schizophrenia is, Bago?

[BagoFit]

A disorder that affects the ability of a person to think feel and behave clearly. As i said before theses nothing you can say to her. She is schizophrenic and fucked up big time.

[MsJiff]

Ok, since you clearly have no regard for others feelings, does that make you a sociopath?

[BagoFit]

Ofc i understand how horrible that is what happened to her but i choose to be realistic, accept the facts knowing how that hurts and keep on going. And definitely not live like a braindead sheep and believe others that its alright and nothing is wrong. You think that you comforting her will make it any better? Definitely not you better encourage her and make her think and find reasons to keep on fighting and go on

[MsJiff]

Imagine you were born without the ability to speak or hear? Not your choice twat waffle... just like schizophrenia. Educate yourself kitten! Laters!!!

[BagoFit]

Your team funny tho i was reading the commentary and you seem to be the one uneducated as you were asking people what schizophrenia is lol google and learn it'll benefit you.

[rockrewls]

Huge hugs... very sorry to hear this :(

[Anonymous]

I bet she won’t do that again.

[liTeWave]

^^ Something is wrong in the head with this one.

[monkeynutts]

*hugs*