Why Is Wanting To Be Thin/Skinny Considered So Bad?

Question

Why is wanting to be thin or skinny considered such a negative thing[on this site]?

Millions of individuals are naturally skinny, so why is wanting to lose weight to be skinny considered so bad?

Whenever I happen to mention that I'm 125/126 lbs @ 5'3 and that I want to be around 100 or 95(pushing it) with a space in between my thighs/legs because they touch when I stand together but don't rub when I walk, I get attacked. If another girl on here asks how to get thin thighs or become skinny, they get attacked and of course, it comes from girls because we all know girls encourage being chubby and having thighs that burn rubber.

But why is it such a bad thing? Like at least I'm trying to be healthy about it, although I guess I could be like the rest of the population and be a size 18 thinking I'm all that

TimeAndTimeAgain · Accepted Answer

Here's why it's bad - girls in our society (which is something you are part of) gets brainwashed into thinking that only skinny girls are attractive. They see it in magazines, in fashion shows, in movies, and a lot of other places. The only place they don't see it so often is real life. Sure, it's easy to notice that ULTRA-HOT GIRL with that one handsome guy over there, but first of all:

1) The only thing handsome about that guy, is because he's with that girl. Since you envy certain girls for their looks, girls delude themselves into thinking the guy must be "hot sh*t" to have managed to pull it off with her. No amount of words can describe how idiotic this thinking process is, but it goes through the heads of THOUSANDS of women ALL the time - they're just too dumb to notice. It's why guys with girlfriends are OH-SO-ATTRACTIVE, while single guys aren't.

2) It's not because she's an ULTRA-HOT GIRL that she got the guy. If that's the case, than the guy is ridiculously shallow. But I bet that doesn't matter, right? He must have other qualities to make up for his shallowness, or he wouldn't be with that girl, right? Wrong, because maybe the girl is just stupid. Stupid, like a lot of girls out there who get tricked by their subconscious into doing things they don't even realize.

Things like wanting to stay with a guy, even after he abuses her in every single f***ing way possible.

Things like turning down perfectly decent guys who are the EXACT DESCRIPTION of what they tell everyone is what they want, just so they can be with some douchebag who treats everyone like sh*t - including the girl herself.

And things like losing weight, because they think it's a freakin' competition over who can be the skinniest. Sorry, sweetheart - it's not about how skinny you are. It's about how hot you are. And as far as hotness goes, skinny does not equal hot. Not a single one of those skinny girls in the magazines (or on FashionTV) turns me on, and unless they're naked in my bed and desperate for sex, I wouldn't even think of sleeping with them.

Now here is where you come out with the predictable "OH, BUT I'M NOT DOING IT SO THAT I CAN LOOK HOT!" Of course you're not, dear. You're doing it because you want to be 100 and 95, right? Because 100 is such a magical SPECIAL number. Surely it's not about your looks - it's because you want to be... "healthy", right?

Because 125lbs is so unhealthy...

-__-

You can lie to us all you want, but it's no good - you're just fooling yourself. Over 90% of girls out there don't have what it takes to realize their life is just 1 big brainwash into thinking:

-Being stick-skinny is always more attractive.

-Sex is bad.

-Guys only want sex.

Amongst other things.

Mesonfielde · Accepted Answer

The truth is, because once you grow up enough to be naturally attracted to girls instead of just basing your ideals on society's flawed image, you go for the average and slightly overweight girls instead (or at least I know that I do).

And the reason why is that you possibly have a reason to be the weight you are. I'm currently 128 lbs and I'm totally freaking out because I used to be 137 lbs for the last 3 years. Others would die to lose 9 lbs in a week, but I think this is not a good sign. But that's sort of unrelated.

The point is, I dislike to see and hear how girls are so affected by media and try so hard to be "accepted and loved" (or just end up having an irrational ideal and are unable to love themselves) while usually it's just a question of what they're doing (f.ex. not showing their interest in guys) and not how they look. I dislike seeing how they want to ruin themselves to the point of screwing up their own health just so they'd finally feel loved or so they could finally love themselves. I think it's sad...

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Being skinny on this site isn't considered bad, it's being an extreme. Look up your BMI (Body Mass Index) When you talk about wanting to be 95 pounds at 5'3", you are saying you want a BMI of 16.8. Anything under 18.5 is considered underweight. Not skinny, under weight. In other words, it's considered unhealthy, as any 101 health or nutrition class would be able to tell you. Currently, at 125 pounds, your BMI is 22.1, a normal weight (generally considered to be between 18.5-24.9) but a lot of doctors will tell you that they prefer patients to have a BMI of 20 at least, and not 18.5. At 18.5 and below, those individuals are at risk of getting all kinds of health problems, the metabolism starts slowing down, hair grows duller, some people's bodies grow thick body hair to compensate for lack of any insulation at all, and they usually have lower immune systems.

A lot of girls (and guys) would consider your weight healthy (and rightfully so according to doctors) so the people that argue with you are the ones confused by why you would want to be unhealthy. Healthy people tend to look a lot more attractive. The skin and hair are full of vitamins and minerals, aiding in better complexion and shiny hair. If you were saying you'd want to lose ten pounds or something, going down to 115, I would still think that's unnecessary, but I wouldn't argue, because it's not that likely to cause health ramifications. And baring health ramifications, who am I to argue? It's your appearance, not mine. While 10 pounds might make you look a bit thinner, I don't think it will make you look like a skeleton, and it wouldn't make you sick. Losing 25-30 pounds, on the other hand, might.

And I honestly don't believe guys go for thin girls. They go for FIT girls. There's a big difference. I've seen plenty of girls that are thin, but they are too thin, so they look a little sick, and I don't really see guys going for that. However, I've seen lots of guys go for the girls with a few muscles on her. She has a lot more definition.

Weight also doesn't always have everything to do with thinness and looking fit. Some people have thicker bones than others. Muscle also weighs more than fat, but it also generally improves a woman's appearance. An athlete will look thinner than someone that does not exercise of the same height and weight.

Arwens-Fire · Accepted Answer

I think folks are bashed for wanting to be skinny because NUMBERS are a focal point as opposed to health.I read this question AND the numbers/goal and it does not sound healthy..Im saying this because muscle mass doesn't seem to be factored in.Example...i am 5'9".For career purposes I wanted to weigh about 120.At the time I was 150.I lost weight down to 132.VERY noticeable difference on my frame.I hit 127 and you would think I was starving myself.The 120 goal was and is unreachable because of my muscle mass and bone structure.With that said,im hearing your numbers and I don't know anyone who is under a hundred pounds...unless they are a little person...meaning under 5 feet tall.

ALSO...this is a website.If I read that someone wants to be under 100lbs without real info like your BMI,reasons for dropping weight,your diet,...then I would be concerned because it sounds like someone who may want encouragement for an eating disorder issue because you know those questions exxist here.

Furthermore,you can do what you want.I understand being fit and we all have our body comfortability levels.So if you want to be skinny..fine.But please be healthy with it.Maybe get some advice from a trainer etc. If you're doing it for vanity purposes,once again...thats your thing.Just be healthy.

Lastly,everyone is going to give their own very personal opinion.If you don't like the response(s),then don't waste time asking the question.If it's something you truly want to do,you don't have to seek advice from strangers...just google what you need to know and start your diet or exercise regimen...thats it.

Anonymous · Answer

It's because they care for people, with or without really understanding what's going on. And it also depends on the intentions and your plans on wanting to become skinny/thin/light that concerns them. However, we have to bear in mind that people who genuinely want to help can have bad judgement, be it you, me or anyone. not everyone's intentions are bad, and not everyone's intentions are good. It'd be sad to assume that people here only critic the skinny people or popularize the "fat" culture. For people who are overweight/fat, sometimes we gotta be very delicate with our words because having them to get the motivation and to overcome some of the underlying psychological/emotional problems to start to be healthy is a challenge itself. With that, that doesn't mean that those who help them popularize the "fat" or "overweight" culture.

Another reason is that like what some of the answerers said, they have had close friends/relatives who had bad experiences. Sometimes they may assume that you are one of them, sometimes they won't. But bottomline is, they do have their concern and care for you, and they meant well, even if they don't have the best choice of words.

There are also people who however want to put down people by being mean over people who wants to be thin/healthy/light. If that's the case, why waste the energy? We know they are not worth the time.

One thing you gotta bear in mind and be absolutely clear is that there is a significant difference in wanting to be thin, wanting to be light, and wanting to be healthy. I'm pointing this out because you mentioned "wanting to be skinny/thin" directly in your question. Being athletic and being light like many girls out there doesn't mean that they are healthy, nor does being healthy means that they are gonna be light. Health includes physical, EMOTIONAL and MENTAL well-being. And many people have yet to acknowledge or emphasize on emotional and mental well-being. But by all means I absolutely don't encourage people to be fat, to be unhealthy or to be overweight. There are many many fat people out there who are unhealthy, which I agree. People who are fat needs to cut down on eating, or cut down on over eating pizza, burgers and chips, and perhaps be a little more active with their lifestyle.

From what I've gathered purely from your question suggests that you didn't clearly define whether you want to be light, thin or healthy. I'm not setting out to promote being thin, fat, light, heavy, healthy or unhealthy. I believe it's all about having a good balance, especially since I mentioned that the biggest flaw when people embarking the "dieting" or "overeating" journey is not being aware of the mental and emotional well being.

zombiefood · Answer

It is a good question, because that's how people respond. But I think it's less of them thinking fat is good and more of some of the girls who ask about getting thinner, or talk about how they're doing it is unhealthy. There is a weight at which you are thin and healthy and a weight at which you are thin and need to put a few pounds back on. I'm 5'5 and currently 125, I'd love to drop a few pounds, get down to 115 or 110. I feel like as long as you're getting all the nutrition you need, talk to a doctor about it and make sure you're not loosing muscle, you're keeping that and taking off the fat, there's no reason not to want to feel good about your own body. It's healthy to want to have confidence in the way you look, I think it's great that girls care and want to be in shape, if not for boys then for themselves (that's even better).

As for larger girls getting pissy about it, it seems to be either a they feel bad that they can't get the weight off but there's a girl who's healthy already trying to loose more, and it's frustrating. Or, maybe they want to be pretty, they see themselves a pretty (healthy sized girls, not too skinny not too fat) and then there are all the other girls who are trying to turn to skin and bones, or at least that's what it might sound like, and they get... I don't know. Defensive I guess? Like they have to do that now, they can't be happy with themselves because how can they be when that's what guys want, because if all girls are doing it that must be what they want, right? I think it just makes them uncomfortable, like they should be striving for skinny, too, instead of whatever healthy size makes them happy. And then there are girls who see others doing unhealthy things to get into a certain shape and... I guess they get worried, or angry, that other people could do such things to such a nice body, or be so stupid as to think it was a good idea. Some people just get angry and what appears to them to be stupidity, and that makes them think it's their business.

I say, as long as you're happy with your body, and you're getting in all the things on the pyramid in proper doses and you're loosing body fat, not muscle and you're staying healthy through all the weight loss then there's no reason not to strive for a figure that makes you proud, confident, and happy.

I

Darkfairie17 · Answer

I think you should do what you want. It's your life and if you feel you want to be thinner, go ahead and lose the weight. I wish I could be thinner. Actually I am a size 18, but I do not think I am all that. Actually I have pretty low self-esteem at this point. It's hard to live your life when people constantly criticize you, so I guess I can understand where you are coming from. I am actually trying to do something about my weight and I still get criticized for it, so its kinda like we are sitting on the same side of the fence here. I am all for people being healthy. But I do have friends who do not need to lose weight who constantly complain. I guess I get upset about them because I actually have an issue and I feel as though if they hate how they look, I don't know how they would want to be seen with me.

It also hurts when they constantly give me diet tips, like I don't already know that pop makes you fat, I haven't drank pop regularly for over 10 years. There's a lot that goes into how our bodies are made, so no one can truly tell another how they should look. But I do see what you are saying, there is a lot of skinny bashing on this site, as there is fat bashing. It's quite sickening, it's one thing to give good advice, but to bash someone and use nonconstructive criticism is another matter.

honeyltsme · Answer

It is not unexpected that you would get grief from heavier people. It is true that becoming too skinny can be unhealthy, but in the USA such a huge percentage of the population is OBESE that the argument, unless it comes from a perfectly height/weight proportionate person, looses its legitimacy.

It's allmost like a bald person telling you to shave your head when you ask what color you should try next. The figures I listed in my response are RIGHT FROM THE HEALTH CHARTS. You can google them.

And to the rest of the folks, who are "the other sexy", "fat is the new thin", "American size 6", etc., I say, there's no American healthy vs. European healthy. Stop eating burgers and sugar water, get on the treadmill (actually elliptical is better for your knees), get to your ideal weight and stay there. You have no idea how much more energy and stamina you'll have, you'll look younger, live longer and guys your tools would actually be quite a bit bigger due to your heart pumping stronger and you loosing 1 or 2 inches of fat in the pubic region.

You're welcome :-)

Anonymous · Answer

girl its OK, I'm tired of people acting like its OK to be fat...ok jus me sayin tht may sound wrong to pepl but evryones taking it the wrong way...i jus mean tht its good to b healthy..its not gud to b fat becuase its not healthy, its OK to hav fat on you because thts natural,as  long as its not too much its ok...and weight isn't evrything, jus  because your skinny nd don't weight much or w.e dusnt mean your healthy..u can b skinny nd actually weigh a lot more than you luk jus  because you hav muscle instead of fat..or vice versa...aspiring to be healthy shudnt b discriminzed...but tht dusnt mean tht healthy pepl shud make fun of overweight pepl nd stuff because sum pepl jus can't help it but it deffinately shudnt b encouraged to b fat either...getting back to you tho in my opinion at your height the weight tht your wanting to get to sounds like its pushing it a bit like you said...i don't see how you cud ..well I don't know really how to word this but I jus don't kno how you cud achieve tht goal without making unhealthy descisions ya kno? ...imean 115 wuc probli b a gud weight fer you ..even the weight you are now would b a perfect weight fer you consisting of mostly muscle mass...well anyways, gud luck with this and screw all of the assholes lol telling you othrwise..jus do what you want! :) healthy body is a happy body

Alynaresque · Answer

Lady, I'm 4'11'' and I'm 100 lbs. What you want to be is under weight, what you are is fine. It's only  bad because what you have described makes me think of Skeletor. I know what oyu mean with the thighs rubbing together, and I have it too, but that doesn't mean lose it there. I was talking to a guy about this a month ago or so and he HATES the space between the legs, he finds it unnatural. And for your info I'm a size 3, and I can fit a size 2 dress if it hangs over my ass, it's most of my weight in itself. But really.. You're weight has nothing to do with anything, think about muscle value.. Muscle weighs more than fat does. So if you are working out, you are not likely to be losing any weight, but gaining it.

SocietysBomb · Answer

I don't think its necessarily bad if a persons goal is to be healthy, I think that's great. What I don't understand is when people who are at an average healthy weight and they still feel they should loose more weight. Like you, that is a great weight why would you want to be 100 or 95lbs that is unhealthy, if you reach that weight you're setting yourself up for a low immune system which will probably lead to a lot illnesses. I don't understand how people don't accept their bodies. But to each their own I guess, right?

evemarie · Answer

Being 100 pounds on a 5'3" frame doesn't sound very flattering. Although weight loss can be necessary, in some cases the person trying to achieve the goal is being irrational. There's no reason you shouldn't be comfortable with your body now. It sounds like you have a good weight/height ratio.

I'm not criticizing your weight loss goal. I totally understand wanting to lose weight, but maybe exercising and toning muscles is all you need. When it comes down to it, the weight is really just a number, what's concerning is your health and of course, concerning to you, how you look.

I'm 5'0, 120 pounds. I thought I wanted to lose a bunch of weight because I held weight in my mid section, but when I kept a food journal and exercised daily (I would exercise during an hour-long television program so I'd stay entertained and know how long I'd be exercising) I achieved the look I wanted without drastic weight loss.

If you want to be 100 pounds, more power to you, but on a 5'3" frame... I've had friends like that. It looks bad. People don't want to hug a person and think they're going to break them. Just something to think about.

Asailum · Answer

Well, think about this: most of america is obese and overweight, most of america also likes to lie to themself that their style of life is ok.

Being overweight is not OK in any shape or form if you care about your own health, so its perfectly fine to want to get into shape and lose weight. If people want to attack you for trying to become healthier(meaning they want you to stay UNhealthy like them) then f*** what they think.

As long as you don't start doing stuff like throwing up or your motivations are that your "too fat" when 125 is a totally normal weight, your fine.

Red_Raconteur · Answer

I think being healthy is a lot better than being skinny. I used to be really skinny (I graduated high school at 5'5" and 80 pounds), and I looked awful. I had no hips, breasts, or butt, my face was sunken and gaunt, and you could see every bone in my spine protruding through my skin. There's nothing pretty or sexy about that.

I think all girls look better within their healthy weight range. For a girl 5'3", depending on your frame, your healthy weight range is between 111 pounds and 147 pounds. No matter your frame size, 95-100 pounds is unhealthy.

kaythanksbye · Answer

Fat bitches are jealous you have the motivation to lose weight. I'm not saying your decision is wrong. But I'm 5'3 and I weigh around 105? And I'm built super tiny and would like to gain weight. Also I've actually been trying to get rid of that stupid gap between my thighs.. It's like an inch. I don't know how though.Just wondering, but why do you want a gap? And how big is your body frame? Ooh, and I think the gap between legs is determined on how a girl is built. I've seen a lot of girls with skinny thighs that touched.

Reggie1 · Answer

Here's the thing - losing weight for someone else, or to extremes is a negative thing. Doing it to be healthier, happier and to live longer is a positive.

If you were desperately looking to resemble a celebrity like Paris Hilton, (or some other horror show) that would be a crap reason to be slimming. If you were already 7 stone and looking to lose weight, that would be a problem. Doing it for the right reasons is different.

Cool-Relax · Answer

You're not a size 18. That's why you get attacked. No one's encouraging you to be overweight, they're telling you that your weight is healthy now and you don't need to lose more. It just shows that you're not doing it for your health, you're doing it for the sake of being skinny. Being thin isn't the negative thing here, insecurity is.

Anonymous · Answer

People only want to be skinny because they are told that's what is attractive. If the media said that having as much cellulite as possible was hot sh*t, everyone would flock towards Phish Food and Doritos. Unfortunately, I am also under this sh*thold, trying to shift focus on health rather than being "sexy".

The sad thing is, people don't focus on being healthy to become skinny. Health is a ton more important than being thin. Anyways, being skinny is only one of the many benefits of being healthy and physically fit.

Anonymous · Answer

I guess it depends on what type of skinny you want to be and HOW you plan on getting there.

People attack you because what you want to be is seen as unnatural. It honestly is a low number for your height and people become concerned, NOT because they want you to be a size 18 but because it sounds like an unrealistic expectation...unrealistic expectations have some connections to diseases like anorexia. <-- concern.

Also, to people that say "everyone is jealous"; that's complete BS. sure there are girls that will become jealous but there's others that are happy with THEIR BODIES but are concerned about yours. It doesn't always have to be about jealousy. -_-

currannaaach · Answer

Everyone is jealous.

Seriously.

They don't want another girl to compete with, or another girl who is skinnier than them.

Thinner thighs/athletically built girls (with the gap) are really attractive (to me at least).

You should be able to look in the mirror whenever you shower and be able to critique your body and praise it. You should do whatever you can so that you feel proud of yourself whenever you do see yourself in the mirror.

JanJan · Answer

Many people are naturally skinny, while others are curvy. Most are somewhere in between. The problem is not that you want to look good, but that you want to exchange the body that you have for one that was not made for you. Your weigh is determined by many factors such as metabolism, genetics, and chance at birth, which is out of your control. There is no ideal weight, and forcing your body to live in a way that it was not made for can hurt you both physically and emotionally. Just focus on feeling good, and your looks will follow. Trust me, being skinny isn't all it's cracked up to be anyhow.

DarkShadow1980 · Answer

America is fat. Fat people get jealous when they see the few people who are fit and have 6 packs. Why do you think so many people say Usain Bolt, Lance Armstrong, Micheal Phelps, etc., take steroids? Jealousy, because they will never get close to those accomplishments.

Lance Armstrongs case is my favorite. People bitch about it, but in the end he's got only one testicle and he's more of a man then 99.99% of all men in the United States.

cristinaboss · Answer

I feel the exact same way. I want to lose more weight. I want that space between my legs, and I want to drop down to 105 and people criticize and attack me like there is no tomorrow and say it's disgusting and unhealthy. You just have to do what you believe is right for you and not let anyone else get to you. I'm losing weight for myself and ONLY myself and I feel like that is the mind set that everyone should be in and no one should ever have the ability to get under your skin for wanting to lose weight. If that is what is gonna make someone happier and if it's what they genuinely want, then I don't see why they can't do just that. IMO, we have to take care of ourselves first and not worry about everyone else. There is always going to be those people that judge you for your decisions, so you shouldn't take any of it into consideration and you should do what is right for you.

WtfIdiot · Answer

The gap between the legs is one of the hottest parts of the girls body. It's just so goood...!

Those fat b'tiches be hating because they are truly jealous.

-On another note, I'm sick of this dieting bullsht. Being healthy is a LIFE STYLE. Weight will be lost eventually with healthy food and exercising.. A person need not go on a super strict fad diet to loose weight.

Why Is Wanting To Be Thin/Skinny Considered So Bad?

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