Not quite ADHD but something else?

[GoldenAxer]

I got a problem. I like to move fast! I'm an adrenaline junkie and used to be a sponsored skater (skateboard on 12+ foot vert ramps, like X-Games type). My mind is always racing with thoughts.

I don't overthink in the stereotypical dangerous way. I might invest too much time on a problem but I don't do unhealthy things like exacerbating worst-case scenarios and getting worried about. I'll just spend a little too much time on a math problem or algorithm trying to prove why my solution really works.

And I like to type really fast! I don't think I'm this fast now but I used to test close to 300 WPM in my high school. Even outside typing class, people would gather around me typing just to watch me type while teachers would say things like, "He types faster than the rest of you can think." I just like to move fast! Fast fast fast!

I hate sitting still. I got too much energy. I had to burst out of my chair a few times typing this question to just move and get all the excess energy out enough to get back to it. It's like someone who has drunk 20+ cups of coffee except I haven't had a single one all day. I'm addicted to alcohol and partially because it slows me down enough to feel normal.

My idea of a vacation is totally different from sane people. I'd rather skydive than relax at a poolside. The latter makes me all frenetic and antsy and it's like I gotta move! Move, move, move! Move fast!

I thought it was ADHD but I took several online tests for ADHD testing focus and I scored abnormally high on them (as in, I almost certainly don't have ADHD). I can focus like a freak when my attention is drawn to something. But it's like I just need to move fast when I'm not paying attention to something. I hate being idle.

Does anyone know what this might be or have some relation to it?

Updates

+1 y

I didn't really think much about it. People have always remarked on my speed reading but I'm not a perfect speed reader. I gloss over things sometimes and make a miscomprehension. But what got me lately that made me wonder what is wrong with me is when my wife walked into me listening to a bunch of videos on 2x speed on YT in Japanese, and she already thought they talked quickly at normal speed. I thought it was like turtle pace and painfully slow, although that might be exacerbated by COVID.

Updates

+1 y

The whole world moves too slow as I see it. It has moved a little bit faster as I get older but it's like I can catch bullets when I was a kid. I probably couldn't while bullets pierce and fly through my hand but it felt that way. Everything is just going so slow while I'm ready to move so fast.

[AmandaYVR]

"I'm not exactly the Energizer Bunny but more like a bunny that gets energized, does something energetic, and recharges really fast."
You are adorable. (I mean that in the most endearing, still-masculine, sort of way.)

Hmm. Yes, this is my understanding of you.
I never thought you had ADHD. Your focus is excellent. I really, really, can't stand interacting with ADHD people in person. It does not go well. Although I have one good girl friend online, and she has it and I never notice or am bothered at all. But in person, two men who I know who have it... it's a big problem. They talk over me, are mono-maniacs (my dad made up that word), and one of the two has so little attention and focus, he peppers me with qs and never lets me go deep on any subject. Which is the total antithesis of who I am, and what I want and need in communication and relationships with people. I literally cannot be around these people.

I've never heard of any formal term for this, how you describe yourself. I do think it's natural, biochemical. I'd be very curious to know what it could be defined as or labelled. Often I'm generally against labels and overdiagnosing, but this is pretty interesting.

A lot of your key behaviours are directly linked, related, to this, and that makes sense.

I did read once, several years ago, that every brain has a different baseline for stimulation. One is how much incoming stimuli is takes to have an effect; another is how much the person 'wants' to have. They theorize that this is similar to the spicy food gene preference. I believe there is a correlation to those 'adrenaline-junkies' who enjoy high-octane physical experiences, with those who also like the 'pain' of spicy heat via peppers etc.
I have a theory this applies to people who like scary horror films, but that's just my own personal theory.

The thing is, not everyone comes up to all meet at the same preference line (can't think of a better way to say that right now.) Some want to avoid the rollercoaster, while others want the biggest, fastest, highest, they can find. The dumbed-down way to say that is we're all hardwired differently. But that's lame, not enough detail to be of note.

It's not a disorder. I'm pretty sure of that. But it is a challenging situation to manage your impulses.
I'd stay away from doctors. They'd just tranquilize you in one form or another.
Do you do HIT, High-Intensity Training? That's nice and bursty, gets out the angst.

[GoldenAxer]

I was a sprinter on the track team in high school and so I do something like HIIT but not with the goal of losing weight and not quite as grueling as those intending to do so that way. It's like I'll rest 3+ mins between sprints walking or even sitting rather than just 15 secs while jogging. I do sprint intervals like that for a week and I won't come back to it again for another year. :-D

[GoldenAxer]

I tend to kind of do sprints inadvertently. Like if I need to go to the grocery store to get something, I like sprinting there. Walking takes too long and it actually makes me more tired than just spriting there back and forth.

[GoldenAxer]

I wish sometimes, with the way the world seems to move so slowly to my eyes, and the way I want to move so fast in a way that feels off with the speed of the world, that I could just touch a person (even a guy, it's not sexual), and maybe I can slow myself down enough and he or she can speed themselves up enough that we're just in perfect sync.

[GoldenAxer]

... and without requiring me to drink a boatload of whiskey to compromise and match each other's pace of thoughts.

[GoldenAxer]

My wife is one of those slower thinkers. She's so beautiful in how she thinks, so positive and humorous, but I lie in bed sometimes and ask her what she's thinking and she says, "Nothing!" How does someone think about nothing! That's a superpower! I want to be able to do that. She can sleep so easily like "I want to take a nap," and 5 mins later she's asleep while I'm struggling even when I know I have an early appointment the next day and going late into the night to even put a rest to the restless mind and sleep. I generally have to make myself too tired that I can't think anymore, while she can just stop thinking whenever she wants.

[AmandaYVR]

Yeah I hear you. I am close to you than her. Take me a good 90+ min to fall asleep, most nights, though it depends on all sorts of things leading up to that.

Get your hands on some Ambien/Zolpidem. That stuff is magic. It's a sedative that gives you a very mild euphoria feeling, as it kicks in, in the hour before you fall asleep. God I miss that stuff. It's outlawed in Canada. I never did any strange/dangerous behaviours on it.
I hate pharmaceuticals generally. That's a rare one that is golden andd super fun.
People get hooked on benzos (benzodiazepines) and they are given out like candy by doctors.

But the proper ways to get to sleep are by exercise (though it's not really advised to work out right before bed, as that can be invigorating), meditating (doesn't work for me in the least), focus on breathing (this does the opposite for me), counting sheep (I get up to 1000 and call it quits). What the hell is left. I used to like watching some old sitcom that I was really familiar with. I knew all the lines, so it didn't engage my mind all that much, but just enough to stop me from thinking about other random thoughts. But I never have the TV late anymore.
CBT? Cognitive Behavioural Training - change your thought patterns. You basically have no choice but to redirect your thoughts to something less stimulating. I like thinking about something enjoyable, maybe a past exchange (written or live conversation) with someone about something that made me feel happy, yet doesn't need a ton of analyzing still.

[SandandWaves]

I have always had this too since a little girl, and still do. I can never fully relax when I need to, am still fidgeting while trying to relax. Always going-like a batterie... hard worker. etc

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Hi Sir, please take me seriously, I think your Diagnosis is Bipolar also you are having Hypomania symptoms but it's good that you are keeping your mind busy and not doing dangerous things such as self-harming or harming others but you see the Hypomania episodes you drink to take it away... You might benefit to be placed on Lithium, now there are more modern day medications such as Seroquel, Depakote but if you are in Japan these medications could be listed under other generic/brand names
and yes ADHD can be the Diagnosis but you are so close to doing damaging things
that is why I am saying you could have Bipolar/ Manic Depression

[GoldenAxer]

I'll have to look into it! That's an interesting conclusion since I had an ex who was diagnosed with it, and she did have this extremely playful and child-like energy on her good days. For example, we'd be strolling around in a park and she'd suddenly tag me and sprint in the opposite direction like a little kid and we'd play tag. I fell in love with that child-like energy on the good days, although she'd often have some of the worst mood swings like going from laughing so hard to breaking down crying for reasons she could only vaguely explain.

I seem to lack those kinds of negative mood swings I frequently see associated with bipolar disorder and my overall disposition tends to be quite cheerful and positive, although my love of drinking and overall addiction to doing daredevil stunts has frequently gotten me into trouble, along with some very stupid and severe injuries, while drunk.

[GoldenAxer]

I often wonder if being extremely addicted to risky stunts is like a form of self-harm. I think a difference between me and someone who does things like cut themselves is that I find nothing pleasurable about the idea of doing something like slice my skin or jump off a cliff since injury is not a risk there, but a guarantee. But I would love to try something like BASE jumping where I might still splat on the ground, but it's only a risk and not a guarantee. Then I find it thrilling and pleasurable.

[GoldenAxer]

I wanted to select this as MHO too and forgot I can only select two! I think I really need to look into especially this Hypomania thing. It sounds very fitting.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

@goldenaxer I hope you can get the help you need
I know for a fact that your symptoms are similar to Bipolar

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Thanks For Most Helpful Guy :)

[humanearth]

Your normal, your just like me, can't sit still and when you do. You pass out. I can never watch a movie. I always fall asleep.

Im on the go from sunrise to sunset and sometimes longer

[GoldenAxer]

I do fall asleep with movies, especially these days! I tend to drink beer with those though. I get more tired when I'm forced to sit still than when I'm allowed to move about.

[GoldenAxer]

I don't know if it's the same case with you but if I do something physically exerting, I do want to catch my breath and sit down for a bit like normal people (and stamina isn't my strong point; I was a sprinter in high school and the worst distance runner). But where I deviate is that then I want to do something like that again once I recover my breath! I'm not exactly the Energizer Bunny but more like a bunny that gets energized, does something energetic, and recharges really fast.

[humanearth]

For running I was the long distance runner. I used to be able to run for miles non stop, now I drive them

[GoldenAxer]

Distance runners are the greatest and healthiest as I see it. I'm so wired towards sprinting (10.3 secs/100m dash and 24'8 long jump) that the worst part of the track meets after school was not sprints or jumps or hurdles but just the 1 mile warm-up jog. I never quite got used to it.

[GoldenAxer]

Think I only got that fast-twitch muscle and little of the slow-twitch, and that's characterized by my fast and twitchy personality! Move real fast! Take a long rest! Move fast again!

[Slim57]

I don't know what it is except the opposite of me and I wish I had the energy I rarely have none

[Slim57]

Rarely have any*

[GoldenAxer]

I heard people break into two types when they're stressed, like anxious vs. depressed. Anxious is energetic, depressed is all relaxed and lacking in energy. Maybe we're opposites that way. But I don't know what I'm anxious about. I wanna do something! Where' my zombie apocalypse? It's kind of like that. I wish I could relax like a normal person.