Any tips or stories going Sober?

Question

I've tried AA this past year I went to a few meetings, but it wasn't my scene. I just listened to everyone's sad story. I've tried to quit booze for 4 years now, I don't have a problem but it's effecting my mental health, big time. I would cut back and just say I'll only drink 2-3 times a month or just wine.
My depression, anxiety and stress is worse when I drink and I regret it every time. I've quit many times before, the longest is 1.5 months, then I'll lie to myself it's okay to drink, you don't have a problem. because that's what addiction does.
I also quiting Marijuana edibles, that has also been my crutch when I'm bored and lonely. It reeks no benefits and is also causing me deeper pain.

I came to the realization that if I don't quit drugs and booze I'm gonna die. I don't want that. I want to commit to living my best sober life.

I'm a month in, any advice to give for not giving into the addiction again and quit forever?

zeitgeist057 · Accepted Answer

First, you are doing great if you haven't touched alcohol or THC for a month. I will say that if you can go one month, then you can go two (and the second month is easier), and if you can do two, you can do 12, just one month at a time, then one year at a time.

Second, NEVER be tempted. Because you will be tempted. I mean, not like you are now, thinking about it as a strong addiction. You'll be tempted because months or years from now, you'll feel strong and stable and you'll see people drinking or getting high and you'll think "I'm strong and stable. I could have a drink or two, or a puff or some edibles, and I'll be fine, strong as I ever was."

But that's how I slipped after 2 years of quitting, and another time after SIX YEARS. The way to quit is to quit. To stop and not start again. It's not worth it.

You seem to already know how this works, the lying to yourself. I don't know if you noticed, but in your question you even wrote "I don't have a problem." then later wrote it affects your mental health, "I'll lie to myself it's okay to drink, you don't have a problem." and "if I don't quit drugs and booze I'm gonna die." which is DEFINITELY A PROBLEM.

Third tip is fill your life with joy or at least keep yourself busy. People, activities, fitness, learning, volunteering, reading, writing, hobbies, whatever. There are so many things you can do besides get altered. And the more you do them, the less anxious and stressed out your life will be, or if they are stressful things, then the more you will learn to deal with stress in a sober way.

Curiousnesshmmm · Accepted Answer

I always used to drink and Larry and after getting tired of feeling like shit and seeing hoe stupid and annoying drink people plus Covid reiterated the fact we don’t have that much time here so make it count I just stopped. I was a drinker and heavy partied for 20 years snd went to meeting but I felt the same as you. They never really helped and I feel bad saying this but I just don’t like meeting like that where there’s no topic it’s hurt random people sharing but anyways hurt go out once snd don’t drink at all and you’ll see how annoying & stupid people drinking are and it’s boring as all hell it you’re not drinking. So if I have to be drunk to enjoy something that means you really don’t like it. It’s this while fake society we’re made to believe. Most of these people hate their job and never followed their passion so they work in a cubicle or some other job they don’t care about and then drink away the pain but if you follow your passion you don’t have time to be hungover and won’t want to be because you don’t accomplish anything. School teaches you to work for someone else and the alcohol is there to entertain aka distract you on the weekends so you forget about your soul sucking job. They try to tell you to chase money but if you go after your passion money will eventually follow and you won’t need alcohol or drugs to feel good because you’ll feel a self of accomplishment and you’ll have s purpose. My 2 cents anyways -rant over

19magic · Accepted Answer

I wasn't addicted but did have some bad habits and a colleague of mine said you're so fucking miserable all the time. And that struck me like a dart to the heart I've always considered myself happy go lucky, cheerful no matter what and to hear that about myself made me want to change.

ElizaPam · Accepted Answer

I used to do meth, then I got clean, then my ex left me, I became an alcoholic and Xanax addict, then I went through Xanax withdrawal which was by far the worst experience of my life, I figured if I could survive that I could survive anything, so I got back on meth.

jimmy2 · Answer

I have something for you. If you are a Christian in the Bible 1st John 1-9. If we confess our sins He is fatiful and just to cleanse you from all unrighteous. Verse 10 if you say you dont say you sin you call God a liar and His Word is not in you.

This is A Spiritual bath for the Soul. We bathed or shower for good reason same true in your Soul.

here's the prayer, Dear Lord Jesus i ask You to forgive me. Forgive me of all my sins including the sins i hanging onto in life. Let me sin less so that the Holy Spirit in me to rise up in me to bless me to bless my family to bless others in my Soul. Help me remember this Spiritual bath.

Here the program
Fo this bath then go as many days before you mess up. That okbin addiction you will mess up. Just when you do tut take the bath and go as nany days you can. Realize you did not become a dunk in one day. Niether can you be free from this untill it out of your life. I did this to get off of drugs. It works. I done this all over the world with people it works. God bless you dear.

Anonymous · Answer

Hi firstly good on you for sticking at it. I was an alcoholic of the worst kind for 25 years and let me tell you it ain't even a life. I'm only 3 years sober but I swear as long as I'm roaming this planet we live on I will never touch another drop. Let me try and explain a few things... recovering from an addiction (not saying you are addicted to drinking) just tell how things pan out. 4 main stages of recovery the being what's called "The honeymoon period" (4-6 weeks). When you throw yourself at recovery hard and mostly get a lot out, your happy about making a positive change in your life and you feel fantastic and rightly so. Then you enter the second and I think most difficult stage "The Wall" this is when little bits and pieces of the stressful day to day grind start trying to get you down. You start questioning what your doing and why life starts getting at you a bit basically this is why by this time you have some good supports in place hopefully and with a little bit of grit you'll get through this and should be genuinely proud of yourself. After this you should be looking ongoing group support and taking on certain tools and techniques aimed at relapse prevention and by now you would of met some truly great people who will always have your back your all aiming for the same goals at the end of the day. I could go on for ever with this but I'll just say this and I'm done in AA also wasn't for me I couldn't see myself sticking to a program like that but I've done with the help of some fantastic people. Surround yourself in good support and you will too ( And I promise you it will be the start of the rest of your life. The way I see it depression/anxiety all you can do is Benefit. Anyway I'm sending you the strengh and resilience in the world 🤜🤛😎 all the best... YOUR A WARRIOR.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm ~3,5 years sober, ~12 no tobacco not even one sip or one cigarette after years of everyday drinking and smoking huge amounts.

AA, dude in a sky was not for me, done it with going to gym/ martial arts often, replaced all alcohol with natural juices as my body was getting a lot of calories from alcohol and not felt best without all those calories...

You need to understand, what addiction is.
Stop drinking and never look at it again, the only way to do it.
There is no such thing as one sip, just one drink or anything with just one in it...
Find something to replace it with, nothing that will be bad for your health,... ( just research about brain chemicals)
Get rid of 'friends- drinking buddies', all of them.
Get rid of all stuff, that reminds you of drinking, your best glass,...
There is a lot of online bloggers, who talk about it, just listen about their journey, might find something useful.

Holidays and New Years will feel very weird first few times as it always involved drinking for me, but in the end I remembered everything in the morning, no hang overs and can be productive next day. Best think, you can drive at moments notice ( I like to drive).

Anonymous · Answer

HOW TO STOP DRINKING
You don't really believe you're going to die. Fear is the most powerful motivator. Honestly I'm having the same problem but with something else. I found that you have to be busy with something important. And since addiction stems from loneliness people say try to make connections or use your imagination to play out scenes of interacting with friends or lovers.

Unlike me you can use fear because yours is just drinking. So here is the solution for you. Our belief system is based on our evaluation of something if you keep reevaluating something then our belief changes. So if you keep reading a book on why drinking is bad and horrible stories about drinking etc etc. You will come to believe drinking with kill you and you will have the EMOTIONAL strength you need to stop long enough for the wiring in your brain to not be as strong. But belief is changed by repetition. You can't just read the book once. or watch the video once.

You can do this. I can't even get past 9 days with mine. by the way it take 66-365 days to change a habit. You don't have to change it you can just let the wiring die down but if you change it, it will be gone for good. I'd highly recommend a year to 14 months. So you just have to last a year and after that is won't be hard. And remember that after even 100 days it is easier than it will be on day 5. So you just have to make it far enough to where you can handle it and then from there the habit is weaker than you.

crazy8000 · Answer

The thing with AA and similar groups they have a tendency to make people believe they are even if they aren't with the approach some of them have.

It isn't for everyone to get rid of a habit/addiction.
It can make it worse for some.

Just be aware of if someone have been drinking for to many decades it isn't safe to totally stop. the brain get some funny things that it will damage itself. very common finding in old alcoholics.
Should have something to do with that it gets overactive in some way.

To get rid of a habit/addiction do we need to work on yourself what really triggered it in the first place.
Majority of the times it's some sort of mental thing going on. if we don't handle that it's gonna be triggered to get the urge to do it.

noohair · Answer

The first thing an alcoholic says is that they don't have a problem. Alcoholics can't be social drinkers. Your body has a negative reaction to alcohol. I am an addict in recovery. It is live sober of die a drunk, Sorry for the harsh comment, but addiction is disease. When I first got straight, it was, I am not going to get high, one hour at a time. Some hours were split into minutes it was so bad. I wanted help, I wanted a clear mind. I realized I had a problem with chemicals. And alcohol is a powerful chemical. It is a neuro toxin. And as a drug addict, I will say that alcohol is the hardest drug to conquer because it is legal and it is everywhere. I never say forever, that is huge stress. It is just not today. If you need any support you can contact me.

My mental health meds finally started working once I stopped self medication.

exitseven · Answer

I quit drinking when I was first unemployed about 20 years ago. I thought it would be one less thing I had to spend money on. Also I wanted something good to come out of losing my job. I had the time to workout more and I kept myself busy with the graduate program I was attending. My father died suddenly during the middle of all this and I was really tempted to jump off the wagon but somehow I did not. I still miss it sometimes.

EnglishEuropean · Answer

Not really, just stop drinking. If you suffer from depression you need treatment, otherwise you will just continue to self-medicate with alcohol. I would know.

Ironic_Method · Answer

I'm not sure what would help as it's always been easy for me to be sober, but I hope whatever it is it works. I like people that want to be healthier.

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

I'm staying sober after a recent concert... nearly over dosed

Anonymous · Answer

Lean on your family and friends for support. Tell them when you want to drink to get your mind off of it. You don't have to do it alone.

Iron_Man · Answer

You have to be strong mentally And disciplined find a hobby

BillyBalls · Answer

You need to want to be sober to get sober. AA tells you that a higher power is the only thing that will keep you sober. AA doesn't have a monopoly on a higher power.

Alena1996 · Answer

Strong will stay away from bars, restaurants. Have your friends help. Maybe Facebook group. Might take 2 or 3 tries.

Not_Average · Answer

You need Jesus Ma’m

Pterodon · Answer

AA really does help you live sober

Anonymous · Answer

You need good company

Relux47 · Answer

Stop drinking

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