Should I lose weight before pursuing my crush?

[Anonymous]

I have a huge crush on this guy that I went to high school with, we hung out a few times, and I thought he was really cute but I already had a boy friend at the time, we never flirted, I kept it strictly friends and never showed that I liked him in that way, well now I'm single, I ran into him at the place he works, I was feeling a bit self conscious because I've gained weight so I made it seem like I was in a hurry and said good bye before there was a chance to plan anything. I just said "see you around" and left. I wish I could have shown that I liked him, but I just don't feel sexy or confident what so ever, I am now devoted to loosing weight, I want to loose at least 15 pounds, but I know if I wait too long I might loose my opportunity... I don't think its fair to pursue a man when I don't even love myself.. how could I love him? also I know he likes me...I just know. lol..

Updates

+1 y

I'm not loosing the weight for him.. well kind of, I'm loosing it so I can love myself and be able to love him. lol. I will never be happy at the weight I am right now. If you must know, I am 5'7'' and 165lbs, in high school I was 120lb! so in just one year I gained all this weight... after my last break up I really pigged out, guys seem like the only motivation to stay in shape..

[NerdInDenial]

If you gained 45 lbs, that's a huge weight gain. I would agree in losing the "fat." You should still talk to him. I know the politically correct thing is that losing the weight should not matter. However, guys notice the outside. So, it's important that you try to be the hottest that you can be. It's hard to love yourself when you have a low self-esteem. I face the same problem. You just have to look at yourself in the mirror and say, it's going to be okay. At least, I don't have cancer.

[Asker]

yea good advice maybe I will buy some new clothes..I still where my skinny clothes:/ and try to lookl hot with make up, but still I am not comfortable, I feel like I'm in a fat suit and I wish I could tell him this is only temporary.haha. maybe I'll just keep it friendly until I get my sexy back...lol

[Anonymous]

yea just try your best

[Anonymous]

I thin if he likes you it was for you not how you looked but probably has a little bit to do with attraction, you need to talk to him even if he's through text to keep his attention or he's goig to think you not interested

[Asker]

yea I agree, I guess I'm just afraid of getting comfortable with him and loosing the motivation to loose weight... I'm weird like that, I need a goal. Or maybe I'm afraid that I we will move quickly and I won't have time to get in shape..idk I reeaally like him, and I feel like I gotta be my best to be with him

[tigerlily9938]

I have the same amount of weight to lose too! I don't use boys as motivation though. Instead I became a lifeguard and with exercise the weight is just slipping right off. :)

[ericnthesstan28]

ok first off it seems that all of your sex are weight worried (thanks hollywood) if it will make you feel better to drop a few then do it . if he likes you and he is already your friend then he has accepted you and you shouldn't worry as much . bottom line if it helps do it and don't worry about that loving your self sh*t no one dose I think I'm fat and I have been in the army ten years

[Asker]

well I do believe in loving yourself, I used to genuinely love myself. Your right though, I know he likes me either way, but this is more of an issue for me, I can't allow him to like me until I like myself:/