Wake up at 3 or 4am, everyday?

[Anonymous]

I wake from my sleep everyday at around roughly 3 to 4am with anxiety or stress about anything it can be, money (even if I don't have money issues) feeling like I'm worthless, feeling like I've made a mistake by moving our of my parents home (been living alone for 4yrs now), feeling like I made a mistake not taking my ex back (we grew apart and became toxic towards each other) or the need to check my phone. I was only able to sleep in peace through the whole night when I was sleeping with my ex in the same bed. He made me feel safe and loved now whenever he wasn't in the same bed as me I'd wake up in the middle of the night like this... even when things where tough between us, I worry about a lot, I've even resorted to calling the samaritans to talk it through, I've even ran YouTube videos that play frequency that helps destress. Not sure how or why it keeps happening even when I try to get to bed eariler... Maybe I'm having dinner too late sometimes I'll eat at like 10pm or maybe I am actually that stressed. Recently I slept in the same bed as my new boyfriend took some time for me to fall asleep but I still woke up at around the same time. I doubt and worry about everything possible, I just wish I could get a solid night's sleep this has been going on for a couple of years now. Only way I drift back to sleep is to put a YouTube video on with the sound of someone talking. It's really upsetting that I don't have a full night's sleep, anyone recover from this kind of pattern, if so how did you do it?

Updates

+1 y

I had just gotten sick from not drying my hair properly after swimming so I now need to wait to get better from this cold then I'll be back at the gym again, I used to love swimming so I'll start there and work my way into lifting weights. I really want to become stronger I think it will make me feel less anxious

[deus_ex_sisyphus]

Sounds like anxiety induced depression. I don't believe there is some magic cure-all you could use to pull yourself out of that state. Perhaps you could take it one step at a time, with the first step being spend an hour in the gym working out or at home doing youtube yoga. Maybe try to use words of affirmations in a mirror. It'll be a bumpy road, but healthy habits lead to healthy futures

[Asker]

Depression... Hrm makes sense this issue occurs everytime I had broken up with my ex we had an on and off relationship for 15yrs he'd always throw me away and come back saying he'd give me another chance but he'd never marry me and a lot of what he said to me still lingers in my mind. Before I was so sure I was good person with a good education and great career. I love my family my culture, heritage and who I am but since he told me terrible things about me said I was undisaplined, my apartment was stink, I am emotionally incapable, I'm unfocused, I just have started to break down. Probably why I cannot sleep well unless he's with me I felt a sense of redemption and validation (security) so I could sleep. I think the gym will be a great way to shake off this anxiety, it takes a lot for me to arrive to the gym or finish any workout.

[rigmarole]

When do you go to bed?

[Asker]

10pm And then I actually fall asleep at around 12

[rigmarole]

It's not necessarily bad to sleep in roughly 3-4 hour stretches, but you need at least 2 of them every 24 hours. It's called segmented sleep. It was actually normal before the invention of the light bulb and centrally provided electricity. It's still someone normal in people that do a lot of physical activity like hard labor. When people work to exhaustion they tend to eat and then take a nap (i. e. siesta). You see this in labors that start at day break at like 6 AM and then stop mid afternoon to eat a supper and take a nap or sleep for 3-4 hours, then they get up and go out at night with family and friends and then go back to sleep at like 1 AM and get back up at 5 AM to start work again. It's only really a problem if you are only getting a couple hours of sleep a night... Do you take a nap during the day/afternoon or go back to sleep at some point at night?

[Asker]

Yes I usually nap after lunch break at around 12:20 or at 4pm when I am not working. Thank you for sharing your opinion.

[rigmarole]

Well then you seem to be getting normal levels of sleep in long stretches. You just don't have a typical 9 AM to 5 PM work day and 10 PM - 6 AM sleep schedule. There's nothing technically wrong with it. It's health enough from a sleep perspective, it's just off pattern for the schedule of modern society. So it can interfere with relationships for people that are anal, but it's not bad for your health in general.

[petitedollbabee]

Sounds like an anxiety disorder rather than specifically sleeping problems. Have you ever seeked out help for your anxiety? I’d recommend doing so if you haven’t already. Even if you’re not interested in anti-anxiety medication, professionals can help in other ways.

[Asker]

I have been doing weekly therapy sessions and understood that my inner critic exasterbates my anxiety. It's like a cycle if I don't sleep I have anxiety if I'm anxious I can't sleep.

[petitedollbabee]

I know what you mean. Has your therapist suggested any methods that may help to calm your mind before going to bed at night?

[Asker]

Breathing exercises, guided meditation, not using my phone for up to 2 hours before bed.

[petitedollbabee]

Have you also tried some more physical-based methods during the day to release anxious energy? Personally I found that going to the gym for an hour or so during the day helped me to sleep way better and wear off that nervous energy before bed.

[Asker]

Yeah I've left my gym kits at work so I have no excuse not to go to the gym..

[MemeSupreme]

wow the irony of it being 4 am and me waking up like an hour ago lol my anxiety is different but i know getting high helps sleep altho staying asleep is different

[Asker]

Weed makes me worse with sleep I end up not getting enough REM sleep

[MemeSupreme]

yeah... ik wym