Still not happy with my weight loss.. Is it a mental issue? Motivational help?

[Anonymous]

I was always a pretty... well just to say it, fat kid growing up throughout school... I was the guy who never got the girl because my weight would always hold me back. When I was a senior in high school I was about 6'1 and 280lbs. It was a really low part of my life and I was depressed with pretty much my whole life, but I never let anyone know that because I hid my depression. After I graduated in May 2008 I went on a diet (I called it) but I really stopped eating much, maybe 1000-1500 calories a day). By the time it was about May 2009 I was 205lbs and 6'2 an my mom started worrying about my health but I thought I was fine, she didn't know I was trying to lose weight until she noticed all my clothes we're to big. To make a long story short, I've struggled with my weight over the past years and I am now still 6'2 and around 220lbs. People say I look good but I don't feel like I do. I don't know what I can do to get more fit and get my stomach skin to tighten up because it's still flabby. I would be happy if I was like 200lbs and stayed that way... Now that I'm in college away from home I it's hard to eat healthy because I hate grocery shopping and I workout at least 3 times a week... usually 4. What can I do to stay motivated? I was eating healthy for a few days but then I broke yesterday and went out and had Chinese buffet... I feel like I failed myself once again. WHY IS IT SO HARD?!

Updates

+1 y

Everyone make's it sound so easy to do. It's not easy with all this food around me constantly... College takes up so much time it's easy to just go out and get fast food, which I hardly ever eat in the first place... I want to exercise more but most of the time I just say screw it, I think the hardest part is setting the motivation and then once I get going I break and feel like I've failed. I think I would be happy at 195-200lbs... So I guess I have a 20lbs goal to set...

[malekoniky]

Because for most people at your age it is so easy!

I know a few people who were running two "programs" in their head.

One is going like: "I have to approach some girl or I will be lonely for life!"

Second: "I cannot approach girls, I will be humiliated. She will tare me apart emotionally."

They went like this for years! Obsessing. Guess what happened when they approached girls. Girls felt like they want to get a girl and they are obsessing, not emotionally unstable needy and no fun at all. They wanted to ensure she stays and that scared the hell out of every girl. They messed up things, guilt came in and makes second program stronger. First made stronger as time went by.

One of them was my best friend. He came to a breakpoint and I showed him what he was doing to himself.

You listen to "cannot program" you are unhappy. You get pain cause you run program about what you don't have and "need". You listen to second and you get instant pain and stronger guilt ! Guilt blocks pleasure and next time you will feel far worse if you listen to it. But first program will make you!

You see and feel how this is instant pain generator? Get rid of it!

It will be far easier to do anything about weight if you stop thinking about it!

This friend of mine when I showed him with my help started to run "program" that goes like: Naaaah, I don't care! Not now, maybe later.

If he didn't feel like it he just didn't approach and gone to talk with me or other people he was out with. When he felt like it, no obsession. He just got to her and talked relaxed about anything. And he got pleasure from both situations!

He got instant pleasure generator for his life. And things gone ballistic! He is one of greatest guys I know! Girls just couldn't see that before. But then he could choose. He went out to dance with group of people where all others were girls and half of them wanted to talk to him.

And the message? Don't obsess. Get rid of every thinking that gives you pain. Pain sometimes is good choice for behavior change, but mostly not. You want motivation and are giving yourself pain? You are not going to get motivated! Only stuck this way. Get out of it!

Get good stuff and stop obsessing!

Things are going to get great!

[malekoniky]

Write me.

Seriously. In those cases is very head if possible to really help if I cannot ask any questions real time. And I don't think writing something long would help.

But one thing for all: You didn't fail yourself. You did exactly what one part of you wanted to do. Nobody really does anything that no part of him wants to do, does he? Don't beat up constantly one part of you for wanting something good. Learn to align all your parts to work as one for one goal. United! It will get you far stronger consistent more powerful results!

[WoIIie]

Diet alone isn't the best way to sustain weight loss. You need to exercise a lot.

If you don't exercise, there is no buffer to protect you from pig-outs. Not only that, exercise increases your metabolism.

Try eating about 2500 calories per day and combine that with high intensity cardio and light weight training.

[WoIIie]

If you don't believe you can do it, you won't. It's that simple.

Do it the right way. Aim to overachieve. Don't make it easy on yourself just because it's "too hard". Make a decision right now. You're gonna live healthier or stay where you're at. There is no gray area.