Chip on shoulder from significant weight loss? Disgusted and fed up.

[Anonymous]

I guess it's kind of a strange problem...

Basically I lost a heap load of weight three years ago. I was picked on constantly and had enough one day. I stopped eating all together for a long while (horrible, terrible way to lose weight, by the way. I do not condone it even a tiny bit) and obviously had some pretty bad physical and emotional complications from it. Since then I've learned to eat healthy and maintain my weight as best as I can and really have no other problems with it.

However, now that it's off and I feel good about my body. I feel badly whenever I get any sort of attention for it. I seem to still be carrying - now invisible baggage - from when people tormented me. When a guy approaches me I feel disgusted because I have somehow garnered this misconception that he PROBABLY wouldn't be talking to me if he knew me a few years before. I know this is not anyone's fault but I still feel this way. As people congratulated me for looking so good when I was starving I feel a bit of resentment and feel turned off by the presence of people all together.

I guess I've genuinely lost faith in people - as a whole. I don't want to be like this. I want to enjoy the life that I've set-up for myself, but I can't get over it. I'm usually a fairly happy-go-lucky person, but the weight loss has squashed my optimistic outlook. Opinions/thoughts appreciated? Negative or positive, guys and girls. I don't care. I just need an understanding of the situation and people in general.

[SevenWindsNineMoons]

People who are hurt often lose faith in others as a result. Try to bear in mind that this is all indicative of you still having a grudge against yourself (at least if you are anything like me). Growing up my step dad used to call me names and I was teased a lot so I used my weight problem as a wall to keep people away emotionally. As I grew and worked to lose the weight I would wake up and binge, not knowing why I would get ravenous and panicked all at once sometimes. Took counseling to realize it was a result of me becoming vulnerable. I still hate being vulnerable as well but it has gotten better.

Perhaps you could benefit from counseling as well, if this sounds like you. Many schools offer such services for free as do charities like Catholic Charities (despite the name, they offer largely secular mental health services to low/no income people). All in all, the physical barriers maybe gone but the mental ones still inhibit. Now that the body is healthy, perhaps it is time to work on the mind.

[Asker]

I'm glad the counseling seemed to work. :) I've considered therapy but I haven't quite taken the steps to get there. I wasn't sure if this was something that would pass, or if I genuinely needed it. Maybe I do. Thank you.

[SevenWindsNineMoons]

Of course. There is no shame in admitting you need help. You had it hard. Many did. No shame on you, but there may very well be regret if you don't get help. You seem nice so I hope, one way or another, you find your happiness.