Is it selfish to want....

[Anonymous]

Is it selfish to want to end your life, if almost everyday you're in pain? I'm an organ donor, and I think that maybe it would be best, if I wasn't here, and someone could get my organs. I have been fighting something for about 8 years now, and basically when I eat, I get sick. The first year I had it, I lost over 30 pounds in less than 10 days.

Every year after the first, when I get sick, it seems to be getting worse and worse. Not in weight loss, but in pain, and throwing up. It sucks being so hungry, but knowing that if you eat anything, you'll get really sick, and hurt like there's no tomorrow.

The pain always starts near my right kidney, but all of the tests have come up saying that everything is fine, and yet, I seem to keep getting worse. This year I was sick for 2 months straight, and I ran up some major medical bills.

All I've wanted to do is die lately, and I'm supposed to be the "fun" uncle, and my friends keep saying that I'm needed, when I know I'm not.

I feel each day that my body is telling me it's time to go. What would you do if you were in my shoes?

[peace-love-couture]

No, it's far from selfish & it's annoying when people resort to calling people in pain be it physical or emotional, selfish. These situations are the type you have to be in to truly grasp what would even lead one to think these thoughts.

You didn't mention what it is you have, but more than likely it's something that is not fatal(or else you'd mention right?), and to me, it's worth the fight.

Do you know what it is you're fighting exactly?

Is it Celiac disease or something similar?

Anyways, I think you should continue fighting. If you didn't value your LIFE, friends and family, you wouldn't have fought up until the age(s) of 25 to 29. You know there's more to life and it could very well get better.

It's understandable to feel this way, especially when you feel like it will never get better. But you don't want to make such rash decisions that will cause massive pain to friends and family.

Don't give up. Maybe you need to switch doctors or get second-third-fourth opinions and try going to doctors who specialize in specific areas.

I hope you get better.

[Asker]

I don't know what it is. But because of all the pain I've been in, and the lack of eating, I now can't digest food normally. For the first 2 hours, it's normal, hour 3 it's borderline slow, and hour 4 there's no change. This makes it so I get sick more often, because I need to eat something new to keep my energy up, but it doesn't digest, and so I pretty much end up over eating.

[peace-love-couture]

Have you seen a gastrointestinal doctor(gastroenterologist)?

Do certain foods trigger it? Like gluten?

[Asker]

Yeah, that's how I found out about the digestion problems. All foods trigger it. Healthy food has caused me to get really sick, and yet unhealthy wasn't as bad. It's really messed up.

[DebiPie]

I do not know where you live or where you have sought medical attention. If you have good medical insurance, and you have not gotten good answers from the medical tests/community that you have pursued thus far, I would contact the Cleveland Clinic for assessment or the Medical College at Ann Arbor. Both are world class medical institutes and could probably assist you. Check your insurance to see if it will cover them and if you need a referral. These 2 are usually covered by most insurance companies.

Giving up is not the answer. Seek therapy for support. How do you think your niece/nephew will feel if you would take your own life? Not to mention your parents, siblings, etc. Perhaps, if your tests have come out fine, there is an emotional component that needs to be looked at. Depression can do this to your system too. Call today for an appointment to see a good therapist who is a PhD. who specializes in illnesses and/or eating disorders. You may or may not have such a disorder, but it would be worth it to speak to someone about this.

Good luck to you.

[Asker]

Oh they did the whole depression thing. I've been told I have sever depression, but that doesn't mean much to me. SSRI's have caused me to look like I have parkensons, and I have been dealing with that for a long time now. I don't do good on any anti-depressants. They've tried other's, and I had bad reactions to that too.

[DebiPie]

Therapy.

[WoIIie]

If you can bring smiles to people's faces you have a purpose. I can't imagine the pain you go through every day. You're a warrior for lasting this long.

You wouldn't be selfish. Nobody deserves to suffer for years and years like you have. The question is, are people fighting for you? Are these medical professionals simply sitting on their hands and running up a bill? Is there any hope?

The longer you hold on, the better chance you have to find out. If you end it all now... the world will never know. Your friends will never know. Your family will never know.

It's a touch predicament and it wouldn't be fair for me to suggest the right course of action.

[Anonymous]

What I would do is enjoy every minute of my life till death.According to my mom(she is of hindu faith) she says that it is very difficult to get human life and that every human life is here on this planet for some reason.

Be enthusiatic

Get CDs of funny videos like Mr. Beans or tom and jerry and watch them laugh(laughter therapy)

I can understand your pain and feel sorry for you but You giving up is worse.

Think about what all You can do in the time given to you by god(by god I mean any faith you belong to)

Please don''t think this way CHANGE

Thank you (I hope you understand)

[swimmerchik]

Do not just give up on life. I have been terribly ill for the last seven years and more than once I thought I was going to die. Now I have finally found a doctor that is helping me and I am remembering all the reasons I have to live: friends, family music, swimming, ect. You need to find something you love to do and focus on it every time you feel like sh*t. Life IS worth living and I'm sure there are people who love you and would miss you if you left. Life is a gift, so embrace it with everything you have. You just have to believe that things will work out in tue end and always make the best of your situation.

[Asker]

It's hard not to give up when pain plays a factor of everything you do. I sat around for 2 months doing nothing, and I really started hating life more when I tried to do stuff, and couldn't because of no energy, and pain.

[swimmerchik]

Yes, that's how it was for me. For the first five months I couldn't even get out of bed most days. I just always prayed it would get better and now, seven years later, it finally is. You can always look on the bright side no matter how terible your condition is.

[Anonymous]

I hate it when people say it is selfish. F***those people they don't know what they are talking about. The pain that someone feels to make them feel that way is so strong that these people don't comprehend. Good for them, they are lucky.

Now on to you. Please keep trying to find out what the problem is. It took 32 years of me constantly going to the doctors with the same symptoms all the time for one to finally diagnose my problem. Keep trying, sooner or later one doctor will say nobody has tried this test or looked for this and one of those times the doctor will find it and help you deal with it or even better cure it.