Dead weight of a BF/GF? Dumping them or dealing with them?

[titoloco]

We've all heard of people who are clingy, insecure, unconfident, and who simply can't seem to keep their act together without someone always pushing them for results that never come. What would you do if that person was you Boyfriend Or Girlfriend? You've tried to deal many times with their drama and you often get out feeling drained and miserable. You think you're better off single than in a relationship with someone that slows you down. Is breaking-up the best solution or you should remain in the relationship for better or for worse until death do you appart?

What would you do if that's was your situation?

[knowmeyourself]

I believe that nobody is perfect and that is why I believe in giving your partner multiple chances to show you the best of him/her. I also believe that we should do the best we can before deciding to walk away. I don't believe in leaving once my partner shows his weakness or negative qualities. If I did that, I'm going to leave every single lover I'll have because nobody is perfect. Mr. and Miss perfect do not exist.

BUT, if you have tried the best you can and felt like you were the only one who's making effort for the relationship to succeed, then walking away is necessary. Staying in a relationship that will make you feel miserable and emotionally drained all the time is not a healthy one. A relationship is a two-way street. We are supposed to grow on all different levels when we are in love. We aren't supposed to feel suffocated, stressed and miserable. If that's the case, I'd leave and try my luck with someone else.

Also, if I'm not able to help my partner make progress in his life, then I'm no good company for him. We aren't for each other or we have met in a bad timing. I'm not going to sit there crying and feeling unhappy all day. Life is too short to live unhappy for too long, you know?

"For better or for worse" is true, but when you're happy with your partner. You aren't supposed to put yourself in a situation that's hopeless and wish it could be better.

I'd be better off single finding happiness by myself till I find this compatible loving man who would be willing to share the happiness I've found. I'd be willing to give him my all, cherish him, love him deeply, and support him all the way ...as long as he wants to live happily with me with each one of us helping one another to be better people.

I value my sanity and peace of mind as much as I value love. :)

[CrystalMinds]

I feel someone should be in a relationship with someone who makes them better, go harder, push themselves to another level (not in a bosslike manner but just encouraging them and being there for the partner). Like someone who wants to go to uni but feels he/she isn't smart enough or thinks he/she won't make it. It would be good if the partner stands behind the other one and encourages them.

What I would do is talk talk talk. See if he understands what I mean, try to come up with things he shouldn't do anymore or what is bothering me so much, ... If things don't change and he keeps on holding me back, I think I'd dump them. But not just like that, I would try to find a way to resolve things first.

[Joshowwahh]

if your married, I'm thinking you should have noticed who the person was long before the oath of "till death do us part" was taken... assuming your not married, you should know some people will never get out of there own way, some people will never allow themselves to shine... and if it hurts the social aspect of the relationship it's really not worth it, because the physical side of a relationship like that often means the confident half is sexing it up out of pity as apposed to sheer attraction... I would say, if you can't be all you can be with your lover during private time, doing so in public settings would be nearly impossible... if you can't go out in public together then you have to decide if being a hermit/shrink the rest of your life is OK with you... if so, stay together and baby the other half till death do you part... if not, just end it as peaceful as you can... in my opinion lovers in healthy relationships actually boost one anothers confidence without a lot of counciling...

[Anonymous]

I'd move on.