Do really need closure?

[Anonymous]

So I had a realtionship end about 3 and half weeks ago. It was only a seven month realtionship but the connection was deep and the break-up BRUTAL. It was done through a lot of emotions and worst yet through TEXTS. My problem isn't so much that I want her back (im sure a little of me does) it's the fact that I feel there was no real closure. It's driving me up a wall. Is it OK to contact an ex for closure? Is she the one who can give me it, or can I do it myself? I'm asking because I know your mind and heart can deceive you and I'm scared to be the one to make the first contact because I don't want to come off as needy or something. Plus we all know who ever contacts first loses. lol. =)

Updates

+1 y

I guess my main question is Can your ex really give you closure or is that something one can find on their own?

[Lucy7509]

I know exactly what you are feeling. My ex and I ended in a row 11 weeks ago, I am just starting to finally let go, started thinking about packing all his things up to post back to him since he never bothered to collect them. He has been in No Contact with me since the break up.

I tried texting him nicely to get him to talk to me hoping to achieve closure as I have accepted the relationship is over and can not work, he is emotionally unavailable and has never committed to anyone in his life (55), but he never answered. That in it's self has given me the closure I need to now move on, I am sure when he receives his things back next week with no note, he will get the hint, I am now over him and moving on.

I do still love him, but you can't make someone love you or want to be with you. Letting him go and living with the disappointment that he was not the man for whom I am going to share my future with is just something I will learn to live with over time. I am sure there is someone else out there waiting for that opportunity to love me and that is what I say to you ...let go and allow someone else to come into your life and learn to love again.

As for your comment about who contacts first looses - .I don't think so! It is my opinion they are usually the one more emotionally invested in the relationship and the one who wants it more.

[Lucy7509]

I did answer that in my response , yes for me it is accepting it is over returning his things and walking away on my terms not just expecting or wanting him to say goodbye. Move on on your own terms only you will know what that is

[Anonymous]

You shouldn't go for the closure anymore.

Just find another girl already.