Smoking turns me off. What am I supposed to do?

Question

I just can't stand when I see guys smoke. Especially if they're attractive. This one guy at work is pretty good looking and also has a great personality but he smokes which makes me have to scratch him off my list! I kind of have a phobia of smoking because cancer runs in the family and 2 of my aunts suffered from breast cancer so smoking is a big no no. What am I supposed to do? I go to a school full of girls so it's really hard to make friends with guys outside of school and work :/

madhatters4 · Accepted Answer

I think it's a tough situation... people who are against smoking feel an aversion that goes to their core and it sounds like that's how you feel. I don't think you can get over unless you just simply understand taht smoking is a personal decision one of many decisions that can aversely affect our health as human beings. Is it worse than some decisions yes but there are also decisions that are worse for one's health. To me I say, I'll respect a person's right to choose how the live but I don't have to be attracted to it.

e.g. Heroine is a horrible drug but I'm not going to disrespect a person who does it I just may not be attracted to it or them

And I think that feeling is fine. But if you want to sort of bridge the gap you feel between your dislike for smoking and your desire to have some sort of friendship or relationship with him... get to know him. Ignore the cigarettes for the time being and accept them as a choice he makes and just build a relationship with him getting to know him. Perhaps you'll be able to see the cigarettes just as an unhealthy vice that lots of people have (drinking, texting while driving, sun tanning, etc)... OR you'll just realize that you simply can be attracted to a guy who smokes and that's OK too

SonusFluctus · Accepted Answer

I think your being to nit picky. No one is perfect and at the end of the day. Give him a chance, life does that. You say you what this and the complete opposite happens. You want to have a picnic with a man, what happens? It starts to pour down raining like a mini hurricane sandy that's life. What if this guy is the one for you, but will never know that if you "scratch him off your list" why? because he is a blue cigarette smoker. <<<<<WHAT? And with the history of the BIG C in the family, let him know that, assuming you give this guy a chance and go further with him. He has to make a compromise and put the cancer sticks down around you. No relationship is perfect, there has to be disagreements and compromises.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Everyone has their own turn-offs. Smoking is also a turn-off to me because it has affected my family in negative ways and I also can't stand being around it or smelling it. It's OK to not like it. You never know what may happen and when it may happen so don't try to force something that's just not there right now.

ArabianPwincess197 · Accepted Answer

I hate it myself but uncles they never listen ugh and you can't say much since they're elders and you have to respect them

gonyr · Answer

My girlfriend hates when I smoke too. I never do it around her and I haven't bought a pack in a long time, but I've bummed the occasional cig from friends before.

You can't just change people, or expect them to change just for you. If you aren't into smokers, than oh well. Find a guy who doesn't smoke. Their loss

FiveFingerBroFist · Answer

I personally wouldn't want to date a girl who smokes either, so I know what you mean. Second-hand smoke is a serious issue and if you've got a phobia due to your family history then it's understandable to avoid smokers altogether. There's no shortage of people in this world that you can associate yourself with, so don't worry about it too much. Just move on and keep your eyes open until you find an interesting guy who doesn't smoke. They're out there.

martyfellow · Answer

My dad died of emphysema, so I know how you feel. I wouldn't try to put your concern aside just because the guyis good looking. He wo't be for long, since smokers age faster than non-smokers.

Surely there are non-smokers around these days, in places outside of school!

mike5150 · Answer

That's one of my biggest turn offs as well. It makes my eyes hurt being around all that smoke and it smells terrible. Cigarettes just remind me of when I was little and I would go on long car rides and my dad would smoke and it would blow back in my face the whole ride.

ladsin · Answer

So breast cancer is caused by smoking? interesting... but besides that if you don't want to that him because he smokes dont. If you are dating him or express interest in him say you don't like the smell and if he feels like it he can stop smoking altogether or only smoke when you're not around. Or just say fudge it and keep smoking I mean remember you're the one trying to change them not vice versa they don't have to cater to you

dodgypirate · Answer

So wait ... if you started dating a guy who smokes but you didn't know about it and found out you would dump him?!

So what if he smokes, he might be a very very good person, like me :D ... sure he might have some other issues, but everyone's got some. Think about it if you don't want to date any smokers that just mean you'll miss out on them.

GoodManDave · Answer

So... don't go for a guy who smokes. Add more social things to your list if you have the free time without risking your future... or wait.

There are plenty of guys who don't smoke... or have quit. You just need to get access to them. And that may come with time, a job, etc.

Jonny_ · Answer

I'm the same, smoking turns me off... I do worry about cancer, but the chances of catching it are one in 3 anyway. I can't stand the smell, the taste and being around someone who smokes actually causes my eyes to burn. I dated a smoker once, in the end she gave up for me because I couldn't/wouldn't kiss her.

Anonymous · Answer

I smoke (getting ready to quit over the winter break) and it doesn't bother me that many girls find it a turn-off. I respect them a little, to be honest. It's not the coolest habit, and if you find it unappealing, it shouldn't be something you try to change. Not every guy smokes so go for one of them.

LondonBoy · Answer

It'll always be a problem, so don't waste any time thinking you'll have a fling with this guy and then either you'll change or he'll change. Neither of you will; just be rigid and resolve not to go with smokers - you'll be avoiding a lot of grief down the line...

Louie100 · Answer

Well many guys will usually quit if they know a girl has an interest in them and does not like smoking.  But there are many more guys in the world then that one fellow.

dirtyblondeforever · Answer

Kissing a girl who smokes is like kissing an ash tray, it's just nasty (I've never done it, but really, who would?)... I would never date a girl who smokes

Theguyoverthere · Answer

It just means smoking is a deal breaker for you honestly. So just don't date any smokers. There are plenty of people out there who don't smoke.

Dandeus · Answer

Only about 20% of people smoke, so you shouldn't have too much of an issue scratching them off your list. I think it's an absolutely disgusting habit and it's near the top of my list of automatic deal-breakers.

bloodmountain1990 · Answer

Say that you prefer he doesn't smoke around you, especially if he's a heavy smoker but ask if he's considered quitting though don't pressure him.

Otherwise if it bothers you that much, go for another guy that doesn't smoke. There's plenty lol.

BatDoc · Answer

Simple.  Don't date smokers.  BAM!  Problem solved.

CylonSexFiend · Answer

How about you tell him !  Sure beats Nicorette for giving up smoking

Anonymous · Answer

it is a proven fact that 100% of people who don't smoke die too ha ha with that said maybe he just smoke a cig or 2 a day what's wrong with that! you could be missing on someone good just tell em to brush their teeth eh idk

0ddjob · Answer

I'm with you. I can't date a tobacco smoker. I can't stand the smell.

Anonymous · Answer

well smoking is not a crime ! if you dislike the guy which you like smokes , just tell him nicely and persuade him to quit smoking.

AdamThomas · Answer

You're supposed to find guys who don't smoke. Duh!

Calex · Answer

Smoking turns me off as well. High five!

Smoking turns me off. What am I supposed to do?

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Is something wrong with me because I think smoking is a turn off?

Smoking turns me off. What am I supposed to do?

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Is something wrong with me because I think smoking is a turn off?

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