How to get back into dating with a weight insecurity?

[Anonymous]

So I haven't dated in a while and I put on a little bit of weight, which keeps me working at it at the gym. I'm not just sitting around lol.

But it makes me very insecure. How can you put yourself out there when you feel insecure?

[ShesSoSilly]

Well first I just want to say that this is just my personal opinion and general advice. I don't mean to imply that you are anything that you're not or that everyone is this way.

I think its important to work on yourself first... I mean if you don't have love for yourself you're not going to be able to love someone else fully and have a healthy relationship. Being secure in who you are and having love for yourself can just make you a stronger and happier individual and it will also make you more desirable to others while leading to a happy and healthy relationship.

When you think about it there are a lot of petty problems in relationships stemming from insecurity so its better if you can work on your life until you're in a better place. Just to name a few mistrust, being needy/clingy, pushing them away because you're not okay with yourself, etc...

Also realize that everyone has insecurities and you have to really weigh them out and work on those. Figure out which ones aren't really serious problems, like the ones that honestly most people wouldn't even notice. Only you do because you're judging yourself harshly.

Figure out which ones you have the power to change,such as your weight and you said you are working on it, that's what I mean.

Figure out which ones will never change and accept that its just who you are. Everyone has flaws, no one is perfect, and not everyone wants the same exact things. Like not every person finds the exact same things about someone else attractive. Some men like big boobs, some like smaller boobs or even are more of a butt guy. Maybe some people like tattoos, some people like long hair, short hair, body hair.

My point, the important thing is that you just continue to work on what YOU want to change for yourself, first. Don't compare yourself to other women because you're never going to be someone else. If you aren't already recognize when you get to a healthy weight. Don't stress about it to the point where it pushes people away. Then put yourself out there with confidence.

[Stayinganon]

I say keeping working at being where you want to be. You don't need to jump into dating especially if you're not feeling confident. It's hard to let someone love you if you don't feel good about yourself. I say keep working out and get to where you feel confident again.

[martyfellow]

Flirt with guys at the gym who are working on your same issue! That should boost your confidence!

[Theguyoverthere]

A little weight shouldn't put off a guy. It's when you are morbidly obese that it is a problem.

[jamaall89]

I don't think a little extra weight is going to matter much. Just be confident and sincere.

[Anonymous]

Only women care if the guy is fat, skinny, fit or muscular. Guys don't care how skinny or fat the girl is.

[Theguyoverthere]

I don't date overweight women and many don't in general.

[Opinion Owner]

The majority of men will over the majority of women.

[M_A_X]

This is inaccurate. Most men AND women have preferences that are based on them, and their past experiences. Some hot girls will date really ugly guys, some ugly girls think they are too good for ugly guys, and vice-versa. But we all have our own definition of attractiveness, and there are varying levels of it. Some girls can pull off having some weight, some girls can't pull off being too thin and (again) vice-versa

[Opinion Owner]

@MAX Some hot girls will date really ugly guys only if their rich some ugly girls think they are too good for ugly guys only if they have something to offer.

[M_A_X]

That is a trend in our society, caused by a number of factors, such as little girls as young as 5 being encouraged by Disney movies (and toys, and other stuff) to start planning and fantasizing about weddings and relationships, so they develop an irrational, overly romanticized ideal of what things should be like, and end up unsatisfied for the rest of their lives.

[Opinion Owner]

@Max their pretty much brainwashed.