Girls, I can tell that a female friend likes me but she’s holding back. I really like her as person but I don’t feel the same. Keep my distance?

[Anonymous]

I have a female friend that a I met a few months ago. She’s an amazing woman and there are a lot of things I like and respect about her. She invited me to a Christmas party last evening that she hosted. It was a great time.

Anyway she hasn’t said or done anything but I can tell from her body language she likes me. But she’s done a good job keeping it at bay. She hasn’t said or done anything (yet)

I wish I was physically attracted to her but the sad truth is I’m not. And think she’s mature & experienced enough to sense I don’t feel that way about her. So she’s been able to hold it back.

Anyway I plan to keep things friendly but not contact her or hang out with her too much. I am also going to be very careful never to ask her for too many favors or complain/ask for advice about other women I’m interested in. I’ve been in the reverse position before and I know exactly how this feels. And I respect her too much to not be mindful of that.

Anyway how well can women tolerate being friendzoned? As man it can be extremely painful, insulting and depressing. Particularly if I clearly expressed interest (which this woman hasn’t yet done) and she makes a unilateral decision to assume I’m okay with “just being friends”.

But I can remember feeling jealous and frustrated if I didn’t speak up yet. I don’t this woman to feel the same now the shoe is on the other foot.

I am thinking of keeping my distance but still being friendly / responsive if she reaches out to me. But I don’t want to reach out to her to get her hopes up about anything.

[jazzy34]

You pretty much answered your own question. As you said, she’s mature so I’m sure friendzoning her won’t end the friendship. Will her feelings be hurt? Yes. Will she eventually get over it? Yes. I think what you’re doing is smart. I hate when a man leads a woman on.

[Asker]

I definitely never did anything to lead her on. Been careful about that.

I could be wrong about assuming she’s interested (which would be ideal). But I’ve been around long enough to pick it up on people’s body language. I can sense it. Plus I got the unfortunate advantage of being able to think clearly given I’m not romantically interested.

This one of the most irritating things about when women “playing dumb” when they a guy is interested. They know 99.99% of the time. But they extremely selfishly don’t want the attention / validation to go away.

But vice versa can be true for experienced men. And if she stopped talking to me I would understand why.