This is a touchy subject for me. I really honestly see both sides, well because I was forced to in my own personal situation. I am 25 and have been with my boyfriend for 8 years now. We have been living together for 4 and have even adopted 2 dogs together. I was raised with the views that you meet a boy, fall in love, get engaged, then move in, get married, then have kids. Not to mention I’ve always been one of those hopeless romantics that has been planning her own dream wedding to prince charming since I was 8. I’ve technically already been married and divorced from my best friend at least 5 times. We were 10, all hyped up on Fun Dip and Pixie Sticks, it was a crazy time. But so needless to say I’ve gotten to this point where I’m saying ok when are we moving to the next step? Let’s get this marriage train a rollin’. Meanwhile my boyfriend has pulled the emergency break and we’re at a dead stop. We’re hanging in relationship limbo. He doesn’t want to for every reason that was mentioned by every guy above. The divorce rates are so bad, the economy sucks, we don’t have any money, and the list goes. Which I do see the point of SOME of these excuses. We don’t have the money for a wedding and that’s a big issue since we would be paying for the majority of it ourselves. We also want to buy a house instead of a wedding, therefore further decreasing our wedding funds. But I also see the point of view of why some girls really want, verging obsession, to get married. It’s the next step in life, in your relationship. Many will argue that if you’re in a fulfilled relationship and you really love each other and have said that you want to spend the rest of your life together then why not get married, why not take that next leap? I think in a lot of ways it’s a security thing for girls. Guys are always talking about how after you get married your life is over (my prince charming included), you’re forever off the market (or well supposed to be), and a lot of times that simple fact that the “single life” is forever gone scares the sh*t of guys. So if a girl finds a guy that they want to be with forever, they want that little security measure identified by the wedding band saying he’s mine forever. He’s taken ladies, back off. Some girls do go through this whole thing too, so guys don’t think you’re alone on this. But on the other hand, if you’re happy in your relationship now what’s truly going to change once you’ve said “I do”? The answer, nothing really. I think what it comes down to is fear. Guys fear losing their freedom and girls fear losing their guy, winding up alone. So the safer thing for a girl to do is get married and damn we can be a convincing bunch can’t we!?!
22 Reply- 1 y
Good to see that GaG featured a 15 year old question.
- 1 y
@Tomara_Jefferson How do you see the exact years? It just says +1 year for me.
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+1 yI agree with JackOslan to a point. I myself being a 20 year old woman, am seeing the same thing. A lot of girls I went to school with either got pregnant in HS, married right when they got out of HS, or are planning on getting married soon. Society has made marriage to be this thing that is necessary to becoming happy with your life, and it's sick. The US's divorce rate is so bad, because people will jump into marriage without knowing what it truly means, or know the responsibilities that come along with it.
I plan on just living my life to the fullest and hopefully meeting a great guy that can be my life partner, not a husband. I don't need to be married to be happy, that just seems like a false happiness to me.
But who knows, maybe I'll change my mind; I mean, everyone becomes a completely different person every 7 years.. :P10 Reply
+1 yI agree..marriage is so overrated now days and that is why the divorce rate is so high, because people are not building a strong foundation within the relationship before the baby is born or the question is even asked. They barely know each other when they move in and that's when you really get to know someone. I think women are just following the media and conforming to that old fashioned way of life. I will not get married unless I ve been with that person for years and I'm truly satisfied with the idea of marriage. It is not a game.
23 Reply- 1 y
11/10 answer
People are dumb and they do what society tells them to do. More specifically, I think a lot of women have this delusion that once they have some magical wedding everything will be perfect for the rest of their lives. You'd think that any reasonable woman would need only to look at the history of marriage and current divorce rates to realize that real life isn't a Disney movie. To your point, I bet you that there's actually a frightening amount of women out there who would rather not meet their soulmate given the restriction that they could only be with them and not get married.
11 Reply
+1 yPeople tend to measure relationships by how close they are to marriage, as though marriage is a sign of success. Kindness and care, of course, are a relationship's signs of success, and if marriage comes, so be it.
Ignore the obsession. It passes among saner folk.00 Reply
What Girls & Guys Said
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- 1.2K opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic.
u 1 yMost girls want to have babies, they would prefer to do that within an intact marriage, and they hear their biological clock ticking.
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1 yI think it boils down to who gets what from the act. Men usually does nothing but lose, but if you do the math about millionaires that are women... there is like this string of rich men they divorced and took half of their shit.
It's sad because it has vows and was supposed to mean something. But it's become a hooker + John situation with extra steps that just lasts longer than a normal hooker + John situation.
MHO's are picked already and I just wanted to speak on this subject. It actually makes me sad how and what marriage has become when it used to have some meaning. As far as the loyalty stuff goes can be achieved without marriage at all... but then it gets pushed into the legalized by the state zone that doesn't achieve much more except for financial liabilities. What is that and why? I haven't mentioned things like paternity fraud usually being involved in a lot of these situations. It just feels like financial to me.
All of this is coming from me... a guy that's been married for over 2 decades and I haven't worked longer than that. I have been taught by the system to not be that guy. Divorce me and I'll take the kids and half of all her money and stuff + child support + alimony. She begged me to marry her and this is the result. I'm just pointing this out and how I still have an ill opinion about marriage. I am what the women is most of the time... so call me names about it and you're basically just talking shit about most women. This isn't a sexist thing where I think women are like this and men or like that. No, it's a legal thing for entitlements created by government or the state.
So to be direct about your question... these women are obsessed with marriage because they want to be me. It's a fucking retirement plan. Simple as that.
... and just ask me if you're curious as to why I bothered getting married. Remember she begged me for it and it's sort of a fucked up story that just points out that it's for entitlements and benefits. A bunch of shit I never cared about, but I do have them now just to be with her.
00 ReplyThey were Sold an Idea..
It's not about marriage, it's about a fancy wedding!..
Almost all Women of These Generation have been fed Lies and Toxic Ideas.
They ain't worth it..
500yrs ago Wedding was mostly a Thing of Rich and Royals.. and they also did it for maintaining their wealth and power... And they were not monogamous.
1000 Yr Ago, I Idea didn't even Existed, on an average Social Plane.. and Monogamy wasn't a thing.
Bottom line, Marriage is Okay it's a the Vows and Commitment..
However, Wedding is the Fancy Party and festive shit!.. that I cannot Tolerate!.. and I think is the Biggest Hokum of this Century..
The Idea is Fed to Women as a Seed. A seed that Eventually Drains the Bank account of the New couple and their Families.. and fuels the Multiple Businesses in the Market. ( No matter How fancy wedding you have, for some people it will never be enough)
You cannot Feed such an Idea to Men, 😆 it won't work, we are realistic logical people.. women are vulnerable to whispers of Serpent like (Eve in Garden of Eden)
Look at wedding of Anant Ambani the Dude has Already Blew up Millions and still isn't married.. and I can promise you once his wedding is over, even if it's costing him +1 Billion dollars.. There will be Some People who will make snide Comments like "Oh, They could have done this" or "They could have Done that"
If I am ever Getting married, It's only if the Girl can keep it small. Close Family and Friends who have been on good terms for last +7 Year's. 30 from her Side 30 from my Side.. at maximum.. However, I am Going to celebrate 10th anniversary Bigger upto 100 guest. 25th anniversary Bigger up to 200 Guest. 50th Anniversary I am Blowing all the Money I had if we can make it to that.. with upto 1000 guest.. I think If She Gives me 50yr or a Lifetime of her, she deserves it all..
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Anonymous(36-45)1 yIf would be nice if you could take your time to find the "perfect" man but in reality for most women that man never shows up. Which is why half of them end up unmarried and childless. This is not by choice believe it or not for most of them.
So no its a big lie that the right guy will just come along, it is nearly as much a lie that he even exist or can exist. Finding a spouse and maintaining a relationships takes a lot of work and compromise.
Both sides have to contribute something for the relationships to be meaningful.
If your in your late 20's your near the end of the years where your even desirable enough for the ever less desirable men that are still out there.Whatever your waiting for odds are will never show up as far too many people have found out the hard way already. What is left on the market for you to take will only get less and less desirable.
So your friends are right to be pushing to get this done now. Frankly it should have been done years ago.00 Reply
1 yI agree to be honest and it makes friendships really hard for me. I enjoy hanging out with my mum more than some of my friends because my mum doesn’t whine about being single and finding the right man (she’s married lol).
it sucks because I’d be really looking forward to meeting a friend and then the entire vibe is off. They’re miserable and they can’t stop speaking about men they had encounters with (it’s literally delusion, nothing happened) and about marriage. It’s made me resent the idea of marriage! So I reduce hanging out with them and when they speak about it I just don’t respond lol.
I think there’s a fine line between wanting to be married and having children. That’s definitely something I really want and I hope I will achieve in the next few years. But that’s different to being obsessive about it.
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1 yIm not. Idc about it. I mean, im open to it one day when im older. But im not like, making it a goal or priority of myself. I gotta be able to take care of myself and be happy by myself. As for kids? HELL NO. No. Not something i am interested in. Thats asking for too much at that point haha.
10 Reply
1 yIt's a gold mine for them, it a win win situation. Men on the other hand are regularly victimized when a divorce happens due to our present court system. Men loose everything while the women get lifetime income including a portion of his retirement, the house, the car, and his insurance. What do women have to loose?
00 ReplyDon't worry... there's probably a little bit of a boom with people in their early 20's.
It slows down, and you'll still find a lot of single people are left standing once the dust settles.
Relax... grin and get through it for now.10 Replyim the same way some girls are obsessed. and for me its like what ever it don't really matter for me.
00 ReplyI am also interested in marriage. It's not just women. And women are at disadvantage after age 30 as they have to hold having children and it's really important to have a strong woman to have continuous pregnancies.
00 Reply412 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic. Because most of us are brought up with the lie that marriage and kids is the high point of our lives.
00 Reply
1 yI noticed people are more selfish and want child free wedding. Unaccepteble!
00 ReplySome are. It's funny because, I never thought my girl cousin would get married, she never really talked about it, but, she JUST did. She married her first boyfriend
00 Reply
1 yI don’t think that’s true but maybe I’m just too young to notice
00 Reply
1 yBecause once married the man has to do everything she says and she gets to do whatever she wants. 🤷🏻♂️
00 Reply
Anonymous(36-45)1 yI don't think women get married "to fit in with other women!" lol! It turns out that finding a life partner and having kids is pretty important to a lot of people. It's a drive that's DEEP in our genetics.
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1 yI don't know because they're friends are etc and they want to feel left out
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Anonymous(45 Plus)1 yIf you truly don't care why does it bother you what they do?
00 Reply1.2K opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic. I don't think they are.
00 Reply
1 yFairy tale shit
10 Replyi dunno im 31 and idc about those things
00 ReplyProb the millenia of having no rights
00 ReplyAre they?
00 Reply
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