Tonight wondering if anyone had any advice on my situation. Tonight i invited my best friend over for some drinks with my wife and i , things started out fine with the usual banter of laughing and joking with each other , but as the night progressed and drink started to kick in i felt more and more like an outsider in the conversations and the banter between my wife and my best friend started getting more sexual innuendo orientated , this bothered me and when i tried to get in on the conversation my wife put me down sexually and although she put it across as a joke this hurt me , i have noticed many times before that my wife and my best friend seem to get on very well but tonight i felt very uncomfortable with things that were said , anyway to cut a long story short when my friend left i decided to talk to my wife about tonight's events , I told her that i felt like crap with all the flirting going on and asked her if she found him attractive. Perhaps i should never have said anything as this went down like a lead balloon and we ended up having a massive row and i'm now sleeping on the settee tonight. Was I wrong to say anything to her? Do you think that perhaps i came across as accusational? Any help would be grately appreciated...
Most Helpful Girl
If there were no drinks would the same thing happen? Alcohol is notorious for bringing out false confidence and inappropriateness. Was this intentional flirting or good hospitality? is the question. Maybe a part of your wife is happy that she gets along with your best friend, therefor you guys can do more things together or that she can trust that you will behave when out with this best friend because he approves of her. Although I wouldn't point the finger at your friend it's common courtesy to respond when someone is talking to you, plus that's your wife, he can't be rude! Although I hear you on the feeling left out, she may have gotten carried away. Putting you down sexually was not okay in my opinion, joke or not that can still cause insecurities. I think the right thing to do was to bring it up because it would probably just keep happening everytime you guys hang out together and you would get more suspicious/overthink and feel like shit. The key point is communication and how you say these things to her. She may think it's nothing but to you it did and your feelings are valid just as much as hers.1
Most Helpful Guy
You were not wrong - you should get a lawyer.
Your wife does not respect you. She holds you in contempt. Your so called friend assists in this.
You're obviously so meek, that the way she stops you from growing a back bone, is to punish you when you try.
Get a lawyer. Start divorce proceedings.4