"Women are not worth marrying ANYMORE" what does this mean?

[ElissaDido]

I've read this way too often on the internet including GAG, so guys, if you're one of the people who say this, what do you mean?
Girls, what do you think they mean?


What did women have before, that women nowadays don't have anymore? I think that women's nature such as empathy and compassion never changes.

Please don't give the generic answer "Feminism", try not to be vague.


Thaaanks <3

[Anonymous]

The institution of marriage is in big trouble. About 40% of all marriages in the US end in divorce. The divorce rate would probably be even higher but for the fact that increasing numbers of people are not bothering to get married at all. There are lots of reasons that marriage is dying, but the biggest one is that we have banished the concept of masculine leadership within marriage.
What is male headship? The headship of the husband in marriage simply means that there are complementary masculine and feminine roles within marriage. The role of the husband is to be a leader. As a leader, he is responsible for determining the family’s mission, setting the pace, and keeping up morale. He also has ultimate decision making authority.
You can think of the husband as the king of the realm where the realm is his own family.
It is important to stress that the husband’s leadership role within marriage is natural. It is not a cultural construct. The patriarchal leadership of the husband has been apparent in every civilization from the Pagan Greeks and Romans to the Christian societies of the Middle Ages and early 20th century America. It is only after 1960 that we began to see the erosion of this masculine ideal in Western countries with the rise of feminism.
Our culture rejects the idea of masculine leadership. The equalist narrative really took off in the 1960s.
Of course, bringing back the headship of the husband is easier said than done. Western culture underwent a complete transformation 50 years ago. We went from being a somewhat traditional culture to a radical egalitarian one.
The transformation was due in large part to the influence of feminism. Feminists used the worst abuses of patriarchy to dismantle the entire institution. They talked about women who had endured years of violent beatings or who suffered silently with a philandering husband.
No one wants to see innocent people suffer, so the public responded by making “reforms.” No fault divorce was created so that men and women could break up a marriage even if their spouse was not guilty of doing anything wrong. Women were encouraged to remain in the workforce even after they had children as a way of being independent from their husbands. And generations of boys and girls were raised to believe that men and women were equal in every way except for the surface level differences of their sex organs.

[Opinion Owner]

These cultural changes have all but extinguished the idea of true masculine leadership in marriage. Thus, if we want to restore the headship of the husband, we have our work cut out for us.
Wrong ideas of masculine leadership. Before we talk about how to bring back the leadership of the husband, we have to understand what it is not.
The leadership of a husband is not like that of a manager in a modern corporation. The corporate manager rules by the carrot and stick approach. If you work 80 hours per week, he can reward you with a 1% raise. If you accidentally outshine him, he can fire you. This corporate model is completely foreign to marriage.
Another mistaken model is the straw man created by feminists. According to this model, patriarchal leadership is like a tyrant bossing around a slave. While feminists have convinced young women that masculine headship is equivalent to the tyrant-slave model, the truth is that it was never really the norm in the West due to the...

[Opinion Owner]

... due to the influence of Christianity. And, as a practical matter, I doubt very many men would be happy with a wife who had no personality of her own.
How does a man exercise his leadership in a feminist world? If you’ve ever read management theory, you know that there are two basic types of authority: positional and personal.
Leaders who have positional authority receive submission because of the position they hold. Most corporate management jobs are like this. You obey your manager not because they are great people, but because they have the power to reward or punish you.
On the other hand, personal authority comes because the individual has a track record of excellence. They have demonstrated repeatedly through their actions that they are people who are worthy of being followed. We follow these people because they deserve it, even if they don’t have any positional authority over us.

[Opinion Owner]

By definition, a husband has positional authority to be the leader in his marriage. In the past when husband and wife subscribed to a traditional point of view, this may have been enough for the husband to exercise his masculine leadership in the marriage.
But if you try to pull rank on your wife in the modern day, it will have the exact opposite effect of what you intended. Women today are trained to reject their husband’s positional authority by default.
The only way to make your headship operative in your marriage is to develop personal authority.
How I became a leader in my marriage. My own marriage had a rough beginning. The trouble started during the wedding planning. My wife’s family shelled out the money for the wedding, but they provided my fiancée with no help in planning the wedding. When she asked me for help, I just shrugged my shoulders. After all, I thought, that was the woman’s job.

[BubbleBoy69]

The husband was never king, he just appeared to be king. Women control the state of the family.

[Opinion Owner]

During our first year together, I acted like a spoiled brat. My wife was finishing up school and working so she was pulling late nights studying and waking up early. Rather than supporting her, I resented and complained about her schedule.
After about a year of this, we finally had a big argument where I realized that I had burned through all the goodwill I had generated during our courtship. Unless I did something quickly, we were headed for a divorce.
Trying to assert positional authority at that point would have only made the situation worse. Instead, I set out to rebuild my personal authority.
● I stopped complaining.
●I forced myself to be cheerful in all circumstances.
●I got involved in approving my wife’s decisions. Being a leader means that you are responsible for everything. You can delegate, but you are still ultimately responsible.
●Finally, I developed a vision for where I wanted our family to go, and I gradually got my wife to buy into that mission.

[TripleAce]

I think I remember you once saying how attracted you were to someone because they had tons of cash lol hahah

Anyways... what is meant by that is that a women's role was clearly more defined. Without fashion magazines, models, tv, social media... the ideas were never shoved down our throats. Women and men just choose each other based on how they lived in villages and tribes --> it was probably amazing

But today a lot of women want the best of both worlds. I notice a lot of girls I meet today don't even know how to cook food. This was basics back them. Every women knew how. They also seem to want more equality --> so being equal on paper and economically but be inferior or pretend to be in situations that suit them

Again women like this weren't like that as much

[ElissaDido]

Whaaat Nooo haha I rejected both rich guys who asked me out this summer. I said I was attracted to one of them because of how he was charming in the way he talks, he just happened to be rich and handsome aswell ><

[DaniaMQ]

I dont *totally* agree with this. BUT, I definitely know where its coming from, one of the major things that changed in women before and now is like for example, lots of girls now when they want to get married they ask for way too much!! I want this and that, it seems like she wants what he's got instead of wanting him. Thats something that would drive him away. If a guy keeps on doing that and asking for too many things that would make us feel that its not us who he wants, he wants what we got so we would be like "screw this, he's not worth it". So this is one of the reasons that makes most guys (who agree with that quote) are driven away by the idea. As for the rest of the reasons then that depends on the each guy individually

[pr3ttybr0wn]

the good thing about that quote is, that when you get married you're not marrying MOST women, you're marrying 1 woman,.

I could counter that with a laundry list of complaints about the average guy not being worth anything, but that's not what this question was about.

I consider myself a good woman, but I see what a lot of chicks are up to so I can't really fault guys for maybe not wanting to sign up for that. if I was a man I wouldn't want to marry a ran through, using, lying, mean spirited cheating, non-cleaning, noncooking hussy like a lot of women are today. that doesn't mean ALL women are like that, but I've met a few who are.

[ashwathama567]

Yeah but... most are though... 85% of women will be mothers before the age of 40, while roughly half of all adult men are fathers. 52% of millennial mothers are single mothers. Men naturally need to protect paternity, so the idea of being with a single mother, for a single childless man, is naturally repulsive to him. I don't see the value in establishing a relationship with most women. Yet somehow your average woman has impossibly unrealistic standards in the dating market. I've travelled the world, and in my experience, in most other countries women treat their men far better than the women in the United States. So I plan on moving when I retire early because of this. I've narrowed it down to a few countries I've been to, to find a good wife.

[Neverrrmore]

Class. Morals. Values. Why does anyone marry these days? There is nothing to gain when you get the exact same things outside of marriage and some of the best things in a one night stand? Women and men having expensive divorced and using their children as pawns. I think men feel that they gain nothing by getting married but risk losing a lot.

[dolemite68]

amen

[Neverrrmore]

@dolemite68 thanks = )

[ashwathama567]

it's good for kids though. Coparenting isn't effective, most children are better off with both parents in the home. As a metric, the government laws and systems incentivized women from not marrying due to a lack of financial necessity. As a direct result of this, nothing has proven to be more detrimental to the socioeconomic state of the average American citizen, than the metric of people who are raised in a single mother home. This is proven through pew research, and many other organizations that study this effect, even Barak Obama said this. In short, Single motherhood leads to poverty for their children as well as many other things like children being far more likely to be convicted of a crime, far less likely to graduate high school, far less likely to go to college, far less likely to commit suicide, etc. In short, a lack of marriage is not only bad for women, It's terrible for their children.

[Phoenix98]

Well I don't think that way I personally think everyone is worth marrying to someone even if that person isn't worth marrying to me, that won't be the case for someone else.

But anyway to answer your question I think it has to do with a lot of contributing factors, for instance the type of men that say these things, are they the so called nice guys that complain all the time, do they just have bad taste in women etc. And then you have to take into account, societies mindset when it comes to marriage and how society and feminism have been and are trying to destroy the nuclear family unit and traditional household as well as marriage in general.

and then you have groups like MGTOW basically the male version of modern feminism going and making things worse and basically pouring gas on the fire and then you have other men's groups who have sworn off women altogether because they've been hurt by women in the past.

And to answer what women had decades ago that women don't have know well, feminism for instance just one part of a bigger issue but anyway, women now a days are told by feminists that they have a choice a free choice to do whatever they want. But when certain women choose a traditional role or make a traditional choice such as becoming a housewife or getting married and having kids, staying at home whatever it may be, they are attacked and even publicly shamed for their decision because they didn't choose the choice feminists want them to.

So they are basically attacked for making what these women view as the wrong choice, another thing women have lost that they do not have now is the type of environment and I guess you could say culture that we had back then where it was more tailored to make women better wives and mothers.

Now the environment we live in is tailored more towards the idea that you don't need a man, hey if you have unprotected sex that's ok, just go down to a clinic and get an abortion, you don't need to get married, pursue a career that's all you'll need. We live in a world that encourages things like abortion that get rid of taking responsibility for your actions, we live in a world obsessed with sex and not having relationships.

And we live in a world were people in general aren't even taught life skills anymore before leaving the home skills we need to be good husbands and wives.

Does that answer your question?

[Anonymous]

It means that given the current behaviour of women today, which is anything but feminine. How, many women do not bring much to relationship these days other than sex, and companionship and the way society is setup to coddle them and how there are no drawbacks from divorcing but only benefits that many men see no reason to marry women or commit to them.

-Women have a laundry list of demands on what she wants in a man and super picky. Yet, when we look at what they offer in terms of what a man is looking for in a relationship many bring nothing other than a pretty face.

-Many women also aren't that loyal in our current generation and constantly looking to trade up even in relationship (hypergamy)

-Many women do not take dating seriously and seeing they have so many options will dump/leave you at first sign of conflict to go with a new person.

-Things men are looking for in a girl is lacking in millennial women which includes actually being a decent, good person.

-Many women today also have develop gold digging behaviour and are entitled.

-No fault on them in divorce and majority initiate divorces which goes back to women being less invested in relationship.

-Women have actually exceeded men in cheating these days.

-High sexual partner count of women have been correlated to cheating/divorce with a proportional relationship.

-The retarded laws put in place for what is defined as rape and false rape claims of women and society stance of believe the girl just by word of mouth.

-The hostile/shitting attitude women do to men they don't find attractive eventually takes it toll and less men think it is worth approaching women

-The double standard women place on sex and intimacy where one guy she really is into she will fuck date one but yet make another man pay full price and wait for months for mundane/tamer sex that she gave the other guy.

[Eugene]

It's mainly (but not strictly) related to Western societies due to changes in jurisdiction and cultural/social aspects.

Historically, women took a role of a support, in a sense "woman supports a man so that he can carry both of them in life".

Few drawbacks of getting married:
1.) A blowout of money on one huge party that could've been spent on something much more useful, like furniture for your house (or getting a place to live to begin with) just because she wants to feel like a princess dressed in white gown because "other girls had it!".
If you disagree, you're a cheapskate. Also, guess who they expect to pay for all of that.
2.) Biased laws in their countries -- this is absolutely the *core* problem. A woman after divorce can claim half of man's possession, even if she did fuckall to have him accumulate all that wealth, or even claim it in cases when he had it BEFORE they got married.
She can also terrorize a man that laws are so biased, there are more chances of spotting a UFO rather than to have a man keep his kids with him after divorce.
3.) A lot of women after marriage relax in a way "I'm married, now I can stop pretending of being a perfect wife material". They get more fat, more lazy, suddenly stop cooking, lose some of their femininity, etc., yet show extreme hypocrisy where they still expect a husband to take them out on dates, buy flowers and so on.
4.) Men seek partner where both of them have their own responsibilities, not a liability to carry on one's back. Feminism changes women into "I want equality as long as it benefits me! When it doesn't, I want you to be chivalrous!". Such double-standards are off-putting. This is 2nd biggest reason after biased laws.

There's literally nothing a man earns from marriage.

[RegularTK421]

I think it has less to do with the women themselves, and more to do with the legal system. Our court systems are more about business and exploitation, rather than fairness and justice. Boycotting marriage is really the only effective way to enact change, and it helps to protect everything you worked so hard for in life. When couples divorce, banks take advantage. Let's say a couple mortgaged a home on a 30 year loan. They lived together paying this mortgage for 10 years, and have paid off the interest portion and are now starting to gain home equity. The banks buy the property back. While they have made money simply off of interest, only to remortgage the home to another married couple. While the divorcing man and woman are in a highly emotional state, clearly they will not be thinking in a calm, controlled manner concerning joint property and finances. Many times their guard and hostilities will be directed towards each other, and they will not even be conscious of the sour deal they are agreeing to. Most of these outcomes can be avoided by simply not marrying, since if you are not married you do not need to go through divorce proceedings. Again, don't take it personally, it's not about women being less feminine, less loving, or less trustworthy or anything of that nature. Choosing cohabitation rather than marriage is simply a way for the low and middle income classes to avoid further exploitation.

[worldscolide]

I'm a happily married man, so what i say here is a very general thing, and doesn't fit me. The first troubling thing that makes marriage in general not worth it for men is the rate at which women divorce. In all instances of divorce its 80% women that initiate, and 20% men. Why would i get married if there was an 80% chance that the person i marry is going to divorce me. Second the family courts are never kind to men. If there are children involved women are more likely to get custody (Feminism in the 1920's did this not patriarchy, look it up) and more likely to have all of their earnings taken from them in the form of Alimony and Child support. Both are things that i believe need to be abolished. Additionally women's expectations this generation have been just insanely high. Honestly The current generation is a generation of entitlement and selfishness.

A lot of men that want to marry honestly look to women over seas to marry because there is more value to family and marriage in other countries.

[SpaceMapache]

I don't mean to crash your question but I do want to get married, and women are definitely worth marrying, I have had some disappointments with women and I have been the disappointment for some of them, but generally speaking I Think is always worth trying, and particularly there is a woman I love, we are like starting to date, I have liked her for the longest time, and yes in the future, I want to marry her, although I'm really getting ahead of myself and I need to get to know her better and all of that

[ShallowNight26]

I look for quality in a partner... and yes I mean PARTNER.
I find women that are extremely promiscuous just as bad as men that are...
I look for Intelligence, smarts in some degree or another.
I cook, clean, do laundry, and work for a living. I see no reason a women can't help with the things in life if there is a partnership. Nothing is a women's or a mans job, because it is all just work.
I am me not my pocket book. I've had females date just for what they can get from my wallet. That is not cool.
I fully intend on sharing my life with my partner and expect her to do the same, that means she must be able to trust me and I her to be vocal and work out issues not just make them and remain silent. The family unit is failing and some people don't seem to know what actually makes up a house hold let alone family.

[ashwathama567]

lol no. Women aren't attracted to partners buddy, they want men who are superior to them. The game is rigged from the get go.

[Aizou]

Not among those who believes that. But my guess is that it's because our society has been bent towards a more sexual industry in the dating world. Guys who say this, by my definition, are the ones who believes that relationship is about the sexual parts, rather than closeness to another person.

[ashwathama567]

I don't agree with this. I think that most men want intimate connection with a woman, there's just not many women who are worth that effort. Lots of low quality women with low character.

[underconstuxion206]

I wouldn't say women aren't worth marrying anymore, but it is a big commitment that seems to falter, and women always seem to come out on top, so yea, guys will be Leary about getting married. We don't want to pay spousal support, or alimony after the breakup, that's ridiculous, especially since most of the time, it's the woman that breaks it off in the first place. I'm divorced, I'm lucky enough to not have had such a terrible divorce as many of the guys I've known. Women are more likely to leave now than ever, and I think it's mainly due to them having more jobs than they have in the past. Women are more independent and don't really need the man to support them anymore and therefore are more likely to leave the relationship if they wanted to.

[capturemyheartnow]

I am talking about some or many women but not all. So I am qualifying my statement with this assumption.-----The modern women can no longer cook. They no longer want children. They don't like family life. The only thing they can offer men is sex. They spend most of their money on plastic surgery , cosmetics , and ton of clothes. Their only goal is to look good. They are not worthy to qualify as wife material. So men don't prefer to marry them.----Of course there are good women too and men prefer to look for them , but these women are rare and difficult to find.

[Warmapplecrumble]

I agree!!!

[capturemyheartnow]

@Warmapplecrumble Thanks.

[disgustingweebtrash]

Due to the rise in divorces and the biased court rulings against men in this, Men do not marry because they fear they might have chosen the wrong one. There are many "Unicorns" that eventually turn out to be the devil themselves. And yet, after being divorce raped, the man will be blamed because he 'chose' the wrong one, this also further incites the fear of marriage, being blamed for choosing the 'wrong person' and losing money to the devil through alimony and assets being possessed by her, also includes your car and the house you were paying for.
Divorces with children also end up with women getting the children 9/10 (maybe an even higher chance). The only time a man would get custody of his children is if the woman chooses not to fight custody for them. And when she gets custody and gets a new 'Daddy' she may incite hatred into the children towards their or not their biological father.

Also, marriage is a complete waste of money.

[yucel_eden]

Empathy and feminism does change.

You don't see it because you're a cultural girl but in my culture, the girls born in the uk are quite mixed.

You have the girls that retained our values who prefer to wait for marriage and emotionally connect deeply with their husband or the western girls who choose to express themselves more openly and date more frequently. This is what they mean by women aren't worth dating anymore because the world is shifting to the latter.

I personally am "educated" as they say in my culture so I don't many marrying either they are both good. The traditional girls would be more loyal while the open girls would be more fun lol. I'm an easy going person. Women are just learning to express themselves for once rather than living in their head and doing things what society tells them to do.

[XuR_CXV_115]

-Divorce is high and women mostly initiate it.
-Women have made a sort of stereotype of "taking the kids and half of everything."
- And personally I think the spark of love fades away after marriage, so I'm against it.

Initially most disagree with me but after a conversation they seem to share my idea.

[Anonymous]

To my knowledge, it is usually the more "traditional" sort of men who say things like that, because they want to marry a "traditional" girl (and they are somewhat hard to come by these days).

It could also have something to do with the fact that women (at least in western society) no longer seem to value the sacredness of sex in relationships, and no longer believe in abstinence. Women seem to be engaging in casual sex more than ever before. For men who don't consider non-virgins "GF/wife material", this a real issue.

[ashwathama567]

It's because women are hypocrites. Think about everything that attracts a woman to a man... they're all traditional values. So, how can a woman expect traditional value, and even more than just traditional value most of the time, but not provide traditional value. Doesn't that make her a hypocrite?

[Anonymous]

I might have a different perspective since I know a lot of married and some divorced men (and lots on the edge to be honest) and the negative views from my demographic are probably leaking down. Some of the younger traditionalists are of the 'they're all sluts' variety but that's a minor complaint.

I'd say the issue so many men I know face is they have wives who still expect all the traditional 'husband' role to be fulfilled by their husband while they themselves pick and choose when to play the wife roll. Then to top that off, they decide they don't much feel like having sex anymore.

So you're left with an angry demanding roommate who pays less rent than you, yells a lot, demands you do at least half the chores, prevents you from dating anyone else and threatens to keep your children and most of your paycheque if you leave.

[ashwathama567]

This is why I'll never marry an American woman.

[Jager66]

50% chance of divorce
70% chance wife initiates divorce

Divorce for men, BEST CASE SCENARIO = Lose your wife, lose your kids, lose your home, lose your retirement, gain a huge amount of debt, child support, possibly alimony as well.

Divorce for women = Lose your husband, keep the kids, keep your home, keep the retirement, husband foots bill for divorce so you gain no more debt, collect child support, possibly collect alimony.

[martyfellow]

Guys who have been hurt by women, or are too immature to understand why women aren't easy to approach in our times, often say this. Cynicism is a product of a society that is materialistic and doesn't value friendship or healthy relationships.

I feel sorry for guys who say this. It' not their fault their lives have mostly been unhappy--you can bet not only their relationships.

[Warmapplecrumble]

Women don't want to be a wife any more, they want the role of a husband. You can't have two leaders in one house.

Furthermore, women and men both want perfection. Perfection is not a human quality. This is because we are always told there is someone better, when really gratitude should be practised.

[Anonymous]

Promiscuity, hookup culture, fwbs... how can a guy commit to a woman that has been around? How can she be the mother of my kids? How can I lay next to her for the rest of my life knowing that she has been with so many different men? THANKS, but NO THANKS!

[khaleddidi]

the world is superficial to a whole new level and women especially so with the world becoming more "feminist" (more like feminazi tbh). I know ur not specifically so or at least as u claim but 99% of the women out there are really not relationship material anymore unfortunately. And also the law is way too much in the favour of women to the point they could ruin your life.

[khaleddidi]

by the way dido, this wasn't by me
/how-do-i-look/q2273167-who-s-more-attractive-facially
and not really a big fan of imran abbas, his skin and hair tone is ideal (stands out because its different) but he doesn't have anything much apart from that.

[BubbleBoy69]

Her name is Sarah man.