Why do so many young people glorify marriage?

[Comesaveme]

I always hear people in their early twenties say that marriage is going to be so fun and exciting without realizing that there is a 50% chance of divorce and also that they are quite hard to maintain. Not only young people but also a few of my family members who have miserable marriages with their husbands but yet are always pushing me to get married at 22. I have this one aunt who started bringing matches for me at 19 and even when I was 21 she bought a match for me. I eventually had to push her away so that she would stop and that’s when she came crying and asked for forgiveness.

[Anonymous]

I’m probably going to get married within the next year or two (I’m 19 now). I see marriage as progress. You find someone that you want to grow, struggle, learn, and continue loving. As a child of divorced parents, I feel a strong opposition to divorce and I will most likely never get divorced because of it. I rather be miserable than put my children and husband through divorce. My boyfriend absolutely agrees. I don’t look at the failure rate because it is not indicative of the relationship I want to have with my future spouse. Another reason why I’ll be getting married young is because I want babies young. I’ve always wanted to be a mama. And you may be asking “well you have a lot of time to have kids, why have them young?” To that I say, because I want to be able to have maximum energy to take care of them while theyre young. I guess the same question can apply to getting married young. “But why so young?” I don’t think people are glorying marriage, I think they people who happen to get married young are merely just sharing their relationship. I know several people who got married young. I think that when you’re not in a relationship, getting married young could be seen as people glorying young marriage. But when you’re in a relationship with someone who you want to grow with and love and care for, marriage is just a method of foundation to build a beautiful life on. Wow I haven’t written this much on this site in a long while.
Haha maybe I’ll update this message if I remember in another year.

[Comesaveme]

I see! May I ask if where you are from? I feel as though you are from South Asia like me, where they get married quite young!

[Opinion Owner]

Nope. From the US West Coast :)

[Comesaveme]

Oh nice! It must feel good to have the choice to marry who you like :)

[Subarugirl]

I'm gonna blame purity culture for the pressure to stay "pure" and the pressure to get married early on. I married at 19, it hasn't been easy but we make a good team. We have a kid and just last year bought a house and are doing well. I don't know what the future holds, no one does. All you can do is the best that you can one day at a time.

[Comesaveme]

Wow! I have a question if you may. Would you advice someone to marry young like you did, or wait till 25-26?

[Subarugirl]

I would advise people to wait in general, or in most situations. But at the end of if the day it’s your life and your Decision

[Comesaveme]

Fair enough! I always wanted to wait till 25 at least but this year something changed. I feel so lonely and watching my relatives marry at 22 and 21 makes me so anxious and I feel behind. Another reason is I found a guy to marry but my parents stopped it. He still contacts me and he says he hopes to be married soon and I don’t know how I will handle it since I really saw a future with him 🥺

[Bjornasey]

I have one cousin who married at 19 and who married at 27, both had partners for at least 2 years. And it seems that was enough to seal the deal. For some reason they had kids early too, even before marriage. Guys generally want to avoid marriage as it's meant to leech from us and we end up getting less or even suffer because of it. As for women there are numerous advantages and very few disadvantages that is why they're so keen on it. I would personally never marry, but I'm willing to have children with my life-long partner.

[Comesaveme]

I see! But in certain cultures two aren’t even allowed to meet in person until they are married. LOL!

[Bjornasey]

Marriage in the west and say Saudi Arabia or Afghanistan isn't the same, not is it the same in some village in Russia.
I. e it's a common sight to have little girls as young as 6 married off In Islamic countries and they're ready to reproduce when their time is neigh, which can be as young as 8 or as old as 14.

Other places have marriage in name, where teens/children "marry" and live together for many years before they offically marry.

[Bjornasey]

nor ist it*

[Comesaveme]

That’s somewhat true I guess. My case was weird since I found someone I wanted to marry but my parents completely destroyed it since they want me to marry someone of their choice.

[Bjornasey]

Who cares about marriage, just find a guy you to have his kids and try to build a family. As for what your parents think, well who knows perhaps they fear your region has those liberal degenerates, you know the type? Anyhow it's up to you, not them.

[Bjornasey]

guy who you have his*

[Comesaveme]

I’m from South Asia, my parents don’t even let me leave the house anymore after they found out about my boyfriend. They broke us up and hope to find me a partner of their choice in 2-3 years.

[Bjornasey]

God I'm having a brainfart this evening. "a guy who wants you to have his kids"

[Bjornasey]

I personally do not believe one should get into a relationship before hitting adulthood. As for forced marriage or whatever, you can always flee the country.

[SunnyFlorida]

Marriage is not a destination; it is a journey that will require a lot of work. As a 22 year old woman, you currently have the pick of the crop. Wait 15 years and you will get the leftovers. This is the chart of unmarried men/ unmarried women ratio in the US from the 2000 US Census.

.

[Comesaveme]

What do you mean by “pick of the crop”

[SunnyFlorida]

It means the supply of available men is best today. Wait 15 years and the selection will be much worse.

[Comesaveme]

Fair enough! I am 22 was okay with being married to my ex-boyfriend but my parents ended it lol. Now I can’t find myself being interested in anyone else!

[SunnyFlorida]

What qualities in your ex did you like and your parents dislike?

[J2ohhhhh]

What a bullshit chart it is. A traditional marriage requires one man and one woman, so unlike you have two wives which isn't legal in most western countries. Always the same amount of men and women will be married which is also reflecting the ratio as gender ratio is quite balanced in western countries.

[Comesaveme]

They disliked that he was a personal trainer who owned a gym business. It was rejection completely based on status.

[SunnyFlorida]

@J2ohhhhh The chart is from the 2000 US Census data. The chart reflects men marrying younger women (40 year old man marries 25 year old woman) and men dying younger than women (men live 5-6 year shorter lives than women).

[SunnyFlorida]

@Comesaveme I don't know where you are in the world and what cultural norms, but your parents probably had your best interests at heart. In any event, it is not good to fixate on a past love. Look to the future.

[Comesaveme]

I don’t think they have my best interests at heart, more like they worry about what the rest of the world thinks and think it’s cool to control someone! I will never support their decisions.

[Apple1996]

I got married young at 19 and I'm very happy that I did that. It does make me wonder why more people wouldn't want this but I totally get that everyone is different and a lot of people my age don't want marriage. I wouldn't say it's glorified in any way tho. If anything it seems to be that everyone hates the idea of marriage now a days.

[Comesaveme]

I guess! But in south Asian countries it’s very much glorified and people often feel sorry for people who are not married. I wanted to get married so badly at 21 to my boyfriend. But my parents broke it off as they want me to marry someone they choose.

[Apple1996]

That is sad to hear. Definitely don't let your parents control that part of your life. And yeah I live in America and I'm sure in other parts of the world the idea of marriage is very different

[Comesaveme]

Yeah I totally resent them for it but not much I can do since they already did the damage!

[Mia-Wallace]

I don't know. You don't like it, don't marry?

Why do people glorify living with 11 cats? Why do they glorify cohabition and always having an easy way out of relationships? Why do they glorify being childless and working full-time at 40?

Live however you want. It's usually wrong to assume people care about you. Your family members, maybe. But they will stop caring too, if you try hard enough.

[Comesaveme]

I do like it, I just want to marry someone of my choice, not who other people think is good for me.

[Adam1978]

Marriage isn't harder then the relationship its built on. It's just become outdated. If you can manage to be living together and raising a family you done the same thing as if you been in a marriage. It's no badge of honor or special about that paper. If you want to be pride manage to keep a relationship happy during all that and you will see that all work will be there independent of marriage or not. It doesn't help its just a chain if it doesn't work.

[AdithyaR]

Media and society conditions them to think it's something they absolutely need to do.

[Anonymous]

Because the previous generation disregarded it in part as a kind of rebellion and turned out super unhappy. Now it’s almost cool to get married and be happy in it. Its sort of counter culture

[QuestionHavr]

They don't though... the younger generations are getting married at much lower rates compared to older generations. Hook up culture is strong, no one wants to be married.

[Comesaveme]

That’s the case in western cultures I guess. Here in South Asian countries like India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka and even in the Middle East, people are pushed to get married very early!

[Anonymous]

In My Country here 20 % of the World Population 🌎... Nearly 1.5 Billion People... and We have divorce rate less than 4-5 % 🙏


You have a Mess up Culture & Society... blame it to Your own Culture... Not to institutions like Marriage ✨✨✔️📣

[Comesaveme]

Sri Lanka also has one of the lowest divorce rates. But keep in mind it is not because the marriages are successful, it is because divorce is very taboo in such countries. People would rather see an unhappy couple than let them go through a divorce. Especially because of arranged marriages, the parental figures tend to control who their kids marry and also whether or not they stay with them.

[Opinion Owner]

@comesaveme I Would say if You feels like you can't be a Good wife, Good Mother, Good daughter-in-law... then its your Personal Problem... May be Your Patents were not a Great Couple !

But Like if You don't know Answers in a Math or Chemistry exam then you should say... I was not prepared for the Exam 🤷🏻
You Can't Say... All the Questions were Wrongly asked 🙏

Same thing Goes with Marriages... True Happiness often Comes with responsibility and Sacrifice ✨✨❤️

[Comesaveme]

Why so many personal attacks bro? I never said I couldn’t be a good wife or mother.

[Opinion Owner]

Its not Personal its "Universal"...

If you like a Guy then You can have fun with him without Any issue... Real Problems starts when you have to live with him 24*7 then?

Your Real test happens... And many Girls Run for a Divorce 🏇🏇🙏

[Comesaveme]

I liked a guy and was ready to marry him. My parents stopped it as they want me to have an arranged marriage.

[Opinion Owner]

And What did you say to your Parents then?

[Comesaveme]

I fought back as much as I could, but they became extreme and put me under house arrest and said they would stop my studies if I was still with him.

[VanillaSalt]

It’s not just culture. Though women being men and men being women don’t help… it’s law. Marriage is a legal death trap for most men. Divorce rates are 53% while 80% of them are filed by women. And when it happens the women get paid the men pay. I have so much more to add but I’m honestly tired of saying it. I want a wife and kids but I’ll never marry by choice. And no woman wants a man unwilling to “commit.” I argue I want commitment more than anything I just think marriage is anything but commitment anymore.

[es20490446e]

75% of Americans are overweight.

I'm sexy. I just know better :D

[Anonymous]

Because they are clueless idiots who have no life experience and it's seen as the done thing.

[OnTheLevel]

If you believe there is a 50% chance you will divorce someone, you shouldn't accept the proposal.

[amandamiller]

Everyone even in relations have the opportunity to be totally free and have own freedom

[captain_voidwalker]

It's not 50%. 95% of all marriages fail before the 10 year anniversary

[Flower7]

Because that’s what’s taught in society.

[Raj4655]

Media and society is responsible for it..