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I'm proud that my wife took my last name as Mr. and Mrs. _____. It makes us both feel like we are 100% joined as married partners. In her case, I think she just thought it was the natural thing to do.
I know several couples who have hyphenated last names with the wife's maiden name coming first.
I know some women who kept their last names. Some women do that because they have professional careers, business materials printed with their names, contracts, and lots of contacts they would have to notify. It would be extra difficult to change their names.
What's interesting is, I've never heard of a husband taking his wife's last name or even placing his name first in a hyphenated last name.
I'm aware that the reason why wives take their husband's last names is based on long-standing, patriarchal traditions. For centuries, or even millennia, women had few rights, were essentially chattel under the law, and were their husband's property. But, although women have relatively recently gained equal rights under the law and don't NEED a husband to survive, there is still something sweet about the tradition of taking their husband's name if they choose to get married. It feels deferential or pliant in a charming, old fashioned, lady-gentleman way. But it doesn't mean that she is submissive, subservient or unequal. Even a strong, independent woman can graciously allow her man to open doors for her, help her into her seat, walk on the street side of the sidewalk, and be her protector.
I like it when women play the feminine game.
So, although I have no problem with people doing whatever feels right for them, I think it's nice when a woman takes her husband's name in marriage.
Another thing is, different cultures have different traditions. Here's an example of Spanish:
https://blog.myheritage.com/2011/07/spanish-naming-conventions-%E2%80%93-part-1-the-basics/
u it does not bother me one bit at all...
mostly because my last name is not actually my last name... it is my parent's last names, it was posted on me when I was born, and because of a tradition that is just that, a tradition I did not start or anything
besides, my last names are annoying... and a lot of people can't get it right lmao
just yesterday I read an article about some people changing the last names of their parents and making up their own, so maybe, I could also consider this, we get married... and we both create a new actual last name that is for both of ours...
whatever requires less paperwork, I would be alright with that
In my country no one takes a last name of their husband, they keep their last names and the children have the same last name as fathers.
I don’t see why it would be a big deal for men if I didn’t take their last name.
Because it’s rare and mostly looked down in my country.
And we are quite traditional, it’s just not our tradition, we also don’t have pronouns “he” or “she”, we only use one for both “Is”, our last names don’t usually end with the word “son”, they usually end with the word “child”.
I was happy to take my husband’s last name. The line at the DMV to change my name on my driver’s license kinda sucked though.
Opinion
70Opinion
u would it bother you if your husband promised you something, didn't do it, and simply dismissed it as not being a big deal?
Generally I wouldn´t make her take my last name but it would bother if she promised to do so in preparation to marriage and later doesn´t just because of laziness.
The problem I have with that is the missing accountability where words and actions don´t fit.
I don´t mind if I marry and she doesn´t take my name. That´s ok but promising it and later not doing it because the preparation for it seems too big shows me that she never really bothered enough with it while preparing for marriage to take a look what she actually will have to do.
It´s the attitude that would bother me and would lead me to question if she really means what she promises or just says it without thinking about the consequences of it.
I'm *personally* fine with her not doing so.
But it *could* be a big deal for him.
If you've actually told him you would you should probably do it.
But perhaps ask him to help you out?
I'm okay with her keeping hers.
But I'd like any kids to be named after me.
At least the last name.
The middle name should be from her family I feel.
We had this discussion out of the blue.. I think it was something she had always had a decision on keeping. I started to list some ideas on why she should change her mind. She had what most people would call two 'first names' and I mentioned how many times have people looked at your full name, listed last name first and called you by it? So that was an easy one, it always annoyed her. Second, I asked her to try signing with the new name and see how it looks and feels. Told her to tuck that one away forever. The last point was a new start too.
She wouldn't be my wife... I have so much to offer women a that if she didn't want my name then she apparently doesn't want me. Marriage is a conservative social convention, so why do it if you are not going to abide by the social norms and obligations assigned to it... and yes there are gender roles and obligation assigned to the social convention of marriage.
I am sure later on in you marriage you will ask your husband to do something and he will say no, that's a lot of work so he is just not going to do it. When this happens I am sure you will completely understand and not take issue with it.
You have an obligation and if you turn your back on those obligations then you are later on in life your man will eventually regret or resent you for going back on your commitment to him.
Yes. I would not trust you. I might let you just do your thing…going to lie anyway. And, I might find at least an emotional connection that seems Truthful. I might fall in love with her….
—I know a guy in historic Neighborhood I live whose wife was a living terror…. in that not consistent etc….
—He ended marrying the Nannie. And he gave his wife the 1850 home. And two blocks away one happen to come on the market. He bought it at 2 million Victorian bird cage style. NOW, it’s one big happy Neighborhood at Athletic Clubs. 💥
Neighborhood is 1/2 city block from Governor Mansion…
I'm not going to tell you it wouldn't feel like a slap in the face, because it would, but if that is the only thing I ever had to complain about during the marriage? Hell then I'd gladly take it.
depends, if it’s cuz people already know her by her last name professionally in her career that’s one thing. if it’s cuz she’s one of those feminist types that won’t take a man’s last name or wants a hyphenated last name i prob wouldn’t be with a girl like that to begin with anyways 😂
Honestly it's her choice and tbh I wouldn't be against taking her name. I don't see the need to take each others named nor why they should even a hyphanetr is a option sorry for the poor typing on that. The fact is it's a personal choice and as a spouse you can say what your thoughts are but that is it. It's your partner's chocie at the end of the day and you can oresusr ethne as in being married your a team and equals as in any relationship.
Really sorry for the typing touch screens hate me.
Either you’re in the family or not as far as I’m concerned, but what does he think? It’s your and his relationship, and if he tolerates it that’s on him.
That's one tradition I don't care about. I would not be upset at all if she kept her maiden name.
I mean I'm not huge on marriage to begin with. If I want to spend the rest of my life with someone I don't need a priest a judge, or a piece of paper to tell me I can. All I need is for her to feel the same.
I wouldn't get married to someone who thinks changing her last name isn't important. Doesn't matter what excuse she has either.
On the off chance that I actually get married, I probably won't take his last name. Mainly for the same reasons you said. That and I watched my sister go through hell tryna change her name back after she got divorced.
It's not a big deal to me. In my wife's case, she had an established name in her field so she put my surname into the middle of it. She still officially changed her surname to mine but puts it in the middle for her business name and card.
I would be upset. I want us both to have the same last name. I do not want by kids to have some weird hyphenated name. I would be willing to pick a new last name that would be different from our names that we would both use.
I am a traditionalist and I would want my kids to have my name. With her name different from mine the kids names might be too if the hospital is not paying attention.
I don't think I would have cared... I don't remember it ever being a discussion topic... she just went ahead and did it.
I think an interesting twist on this would be if a guy would ever object to her taking his last name lol...
Well I'm sure there were other reasons I wouldn't protest to much but my kids have my last name I had a stepdad who wanted to adopt me and I said no I wanted to keep my last name
I would just refuse to have sex with her until she went down to the social security office and had it changed. That’ll do it.
huge indicator of feminist mindset. I'd be returning that ring pronto
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