Why won't my husband stop talking to other females in very inappropriate ways that's not ok when your married?

[Amanda77]

I've been with my husband for going on 3 years now and married for the last year. We've struggled a lot with trust and so i end up going through his phone and seeing so many different messages to so many different females and when I go and read them he is talking in ways he should not be ever if he was really committed to this marriage and really wanted only me his wife then the things he is saying to other chic's is down right degrading and very offensive and even more then anything that sh*t hurts!!! When I start letting it get to me so bad it causes us to fight so i tell him about what I seen and then he goes into a rage saying I'm a nosey bit*h and he uses the excuse of he does all that and says all that on purpose to catch me in his phone to see if I am still going through his stuff and then promises me he won't ever say those kinds of things again to any female except for me but yet here I am asking this question of WHY cause he won't stop and I don't know how much more I can take!!! PLEASE HELP!!!

[mobiusforniner]

I got defensive when my wife went through my phone seeing my messages to other women. I would tell my wife the woman is just a "friend". Fact is, she was right to be upset, because if i had nothing to hide i would have no problem with my wife confronting it.

Sorry, but if he is upset about it, he is just mad he got caught. Having been there, i suspect he is having a relationship with someone else outside your marriage.

Remedy? First, dont get angry. I know thats harder than it sounds. But anger will make both of you pull even farther apart. You have to approach it with sternness but an open understanding. Affairs typically happen when something isn't being fulfilled in the marriage. At least for me, it was a lot of things. My wife and i have very good communication, we worked through those problems. i dumped my affair partner because my wife and I were committited to making our marriage work.

It was a tough situation all around, but if you want your marriage to work, you and your husband need to be open and communicate, otherwise it will fail.

[DoctorSex]

Be careful about posting Questions like this Amanda, this is a sensitive issue and whatever decision you make has long lasting effects that will last decades.

Many people will comment to get you to destroy your marriage as misery loves company. They won't be there during your divorce proceedings, nor will they check up on you at a later date. It's a lot easier to get someone to trash their life than it is to help them build it. So be VERY VERY careful and slow, when reading answers here that filter their own past experiences into your present day unrelated, life.

Seek counselling. The mere fact that you went through his phone was a massive clue that something isn't right with you. Im not blaming you for how he has acted. Infact I down right dislike insincerity. But the act of looking through someone's phone is birthed out of anxiety and at this point I don't know if it's a lifelong form of anxiety or something he has created. Therapy therapy therapy my dear.

Kind regards,

DoctorSex

[Anonymous]

yeah you married way too soon. together for 3 years, married for 1 year. that's pretty much just 2 years of being in a relationship. i feel like that's a bit soon to know you want to spend forever with this person. and looks like that's true in your case. this dude just isn't built for commitment and eventually this will sadly end in divorce.

[LazerBean]

Rule #1 of relationships, people don't change.
Rule #2 of relationships, don't be in one with someone you can't trust.

[RandomGuy1030]

Those rules only apply to submissives

[Subarugirl]

I would recommend seeking out a counselor, he is violating boundaries that have been set with in the premise of your marriage, that's not okay and he's made it clear that he isn't going to stop. He has made it abundantly clear that he does not respect you or you boundaries and that he isn't going to stop. It is up you to decide how long you are willing to put up with it.

[TheFlak38]

Imagine what a turn off you are when he needs to divert his attention to other women. But of course as a WOMAN you can only say that it's his fault. The vagina is never to blame. He needs to do all the work. You don't need to do anything. Entitled bitches. Every married woman the same shit.

[Anonymous]

Almost guarantee it isn’t going to stop. Is he the same age as you? Chances are you aren’t his no. 1. You two got married so late in life, especially you being around 30 when you got married?

[Amanda77]

No I'm 34 and he is 52

[Opinion Owner]

I see. Well regardless of what people say men don’t stop looking at women sexually just cause they’re older. Maybe he’s met some girl who’s younger, maybe older but hotter or maybe around the same age as you. So why the trust issues? Where did that come from? No he isn’t just doing that either to see if you go through his phone.

[burlen]

Can you provide some context and examples of what he says to other women that you think is inappropriate?

[AviatorTom]

Stop being so controlling... and stop going through his phone. If you want to trust your husband, give him space.

[Avicenna]

He apparently thinks he can get away with it. He's thinking with his dick, not his brain.

[Hulk30]

He has no respect for ya and ya can easily divorce his ass as a result it's really that simple ma'am your in my prayer sorry for everything peace and blessins

[RandomGuy1030]

U should get divorced since u can't trust him. Even tho he is the love of ur life. Add to the stats. theyre a good reminder why no body should sign up for marriage

[NishantPu]

How he reacts when you do the same with other guys.

[Anonymous]

Sorry you can’t stop going through your husband’s phone.

[Anonymous]

that is the asshole you've married. Now deal with it or get a divorce.

[spartan55]

Because he knows you aren't going anywhere.

[Guy13]

YOu are right... that needs to stop

[Guy13]

I'm sorry this happening. It must be devastating. Have you guys thought about marriage counseling?

[Sarahplus2]

He is probably cheating on you.

[DryGermanGuy]

"In his mind he's been there."
- Christopher Moltisanti, The Sopranos

[baserunner611]

He is what he is