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Should the words 'For better or for worse" in wedding vows be replaced with "for better and for growth"? (Page 2)
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Not sure, but marriage would be more palatable if there were actual penalties for breaking the promises made in the marriage contract.
Think you may be right there
No, that's redundant. Also the "for worse" part is an absolute essential in marriage. If you're not going to stay with your spouse through the inevitable tough times, then you should stay as boyfriend and girlfriend.
@LazerBean
Actually 🤓😏
@TonightYouu of which I did.. But the "worse" doesn't apply to cheating, physical abuse.. yet when my first husband abused me, I stayed longer than I should have because of the views I took, the better or worse...
I just watched a couples therapy show where the man cheated on his wife 5 times (that she knew of) and when the counselor asked, why she stayed/put up with it, she brought up "for better or for worse" to which it was the counselor said it shouldn't be for better or for worse it should be for better and growth... And I didn't find his words redundant.. I actually found them profound... If you work on growth there wouldn't be some of those "for worse" times
@tonightyouu oops sorry that was meant for the OP
If the "worse" doesn't apply to cheating and physical abuse than there is no problem with using that word since it doesn't apply to those anyway.
@LazerBean mmmYeah. Actually!😏
But how many times do people try to use that? 🤷🏼♀️
I wouldn't know 🤷🏽♀️ certainly not as often as people use that excuse to get divorced over things much less serious, though.
The problem is not in the wording. The problem is in the relationship. If the two people in the relationship took the words more seriously, this question wouldn't even need to be addressed.
I’d say let’s not change it into for growth. Growth makes me think that older people are always diminishing us, even when we’re fully adult or suffering from dwarfism.
By the way, who made up those words? Are they from some Christian tradition, or whatever? Are they there for other faiths/countries/cultures?
Oooo... I LIKE that! I might have different less kind words for my Ex!😁😂🤣
😂😂
No.
That clause in the wedding vows is perfect as is.
„Ah, a cynic. Why don't you sit down and make me miserable?“
- Maddy Bowen, Blood Diamond
No. It's a commitment to stay with that person even when things get bad.
This dude gets it.
OK, the update makes more sense. I think it means the situation you both find yourselves in, not necessarily realising that your spouse is a total asshole. I'd still not remove them from the vows.
No.
The vows are part of the religious texts.
Nah. But that sounds like very good suggestion. It may matter to people like myself.
Thanks for like!
Welcome
No. Because reality is difficult and to acknowledge that you're promising to stay with someone no matter how bad it gets is incredibly powerful
The Catholic understanding is that when people say those words they are both saying them with full knowledge and full freedom. But if you have someone who is a Serial cheater, than the wife did not have full knowledge and therefore the words are automatically void.
People now a days don’t take their vow’s seriously. That or they forget about the for worse part. No one wants to work things out they just want to look for greener pastures.
Yes sirrr
No marriage is an age old tradition and it needs to be treated like that
Yes, I agree with you it should be replaced with "For Better and for Growth"
It should be if you break your vows by cheating then the non cheater gets 75 %percent of things bought together
Nope it should be replaced with the truth.
Until I or you cheat.
Or until
Guy to Female: You want to end the relationship because you want the big payout/custody of the kids, find someone better, richer etc etc.
Female to Guy: I want to end the relationship because I want the big payout/custody of the kids, find someone better, richer etc etc.
I think you missed the point of "for better or worse". Your replacement makes it sound as though your vows are only valid during phases of personal growth, instead of through low as well as high times.
Or maybe you're misinterpreting what it means.. Oh and they weren't my words.. They were the words of a counselor to a woman who's husband cheated on her 5 times and then made her life hell getting paranoid she was cheating. He was taking her phone, sniffing her underwear, etc... And when the counselor asked why she stayed:
For better or worse
To which he said those words should be removed and it should be for better or growth...
I know what for for richer or poorer better or worse, in sickness and health, till death do you part means, I lived it till death did us part.. but people make these vows to one another and either don't follow our twist it to mean something out shouldn't
It sounds like your friend twisted them up pretty good herself. Those vows usually include things like "cherishing" and "honoring" one another, which doesn't exactly align with abuse... breaking vows and abusing your partner isn't exactly the same as standing by someone in hard times
Maybe but divorce rate is already pretty high and to add "growth" to the requirements might be overwhelming. Growth is like change, everyone acknowledges it, understands that it's almost always the correct path but are loath to follow it.
No because people have ups and downs and I believe it’s important for you to be there for each other when your struggling with the bad days too.
no way, thats as dumb as them wanting to change mothers day to birththing people day, smh
Yeah Why don't you read the update🤷🏼♀️
this world has lost it