If you've been married before or are married what's the best advice you can give to someone who hasn't married?

[Anonymous]

Updates

1 y

Wasn't expecting this question to stir up so much controversy and debate 🤷‍♀️

[DaySpring]

Be on the same page; and that page better be concrete. (healthy relationship advice)

The are 2 reasons relationships fail.

1. Couple doesn't create a desired, concrete vision;
and they don't stay in harmony with that vision

2. People don't know how to vet potential mates.

3. There is a 3rd but I don't want to force it on anyone.

If you sit back and really think about what I just said
you will come to the conclusion that most people WING their relationship.

Winging something means you aren't prepared or aren't prepared enough.

You have to know exactly what you want. It has to be concrete in your mind.
Now I'm not saying to have super high standards. Standards are not objective anyhow.
But do know the things that you want most from the things you simply wish for.
This is how you begin to understand how to vet someone instead of only using your emotions.

But you have to sit down everyday and think about what it is you really want.
It has to be concrete if you're going to make it happen and not wing it.

You want a healthy relationship? GREAT but what does that even mean?
It has to be concrete.
Your brain can help you so much if you use it.
Most people do not do this though.
They don't sit down and write out a plan.
They don't sit down day after day and ask themselves what do I want.
They think if they just date a few people they will have it all figured out.
Yet you see people all over this site who have given up on love.
Time = Life
Don't waste it.

So my advice would be to sit down everyday and ask yourself what you want
and then write out exactly how that looks.
Ask yourself what kind of partner you want and because humans are so habitual you can use things such as personality/character traits.
This is how you begin to understand how to vet someone.
Developing the ability to vet someone is so important because it is your shield against trauma and wasting time. Trauma will sink your ship like nobodies business.
Emotions are beautiful but they can really ruin you if you don't have a logical plan in front of them.

Through all of this you also begin to understand the person you must be to rightly have what it is you want. It seems like a lot of work but it is fun. And as you do the work you know you're so much closer to getting what it is you want.

Nobody does anything worthy without a concrete plan/philosophy

As far as once you get into the relationship you will need to create a joint vision with your partner. You must have a target, a reason for getting up and you must both be going in the same direction in harmony... You should keep all of that in mind when creating your vetting process.

There is more to it all but you'll figure that out if you sit down and think. I highly recommend my suggestions for anything. Take at least 1 idea out of all of this.

[BCRanger10]

This is a great question.

Before I begin, full disclosure. My wife and I are Traditional Catholics, so that perspective will inform what I share with you here.

I'll keep this to pre-marriage advice. If I don't, I'll risk putting you to sleep with the novel I could write. I'll be happy to share that with you though in further comments if you'd like.

1 - Know yourself. Know the kind of woman you are and want to be. This will help you to determine what kind of man you want to marry. On the flipside, you also need to be open to growth. Marriage will change you in ways that you might not anticipate or expect. You'll learn more things about yourself, and likewise for your husband. Be prepared for that. And the more you learn about each other, the more and the greater you love.

2 - On that note, don't put so much stock in "compatibility". In marriage you're not finding out if you can love a certain man for life. You are choosing to love a whole person with your whole self for your whole life. Sure, compatibility has its place in the equation, but compatibility won't do the work for you; it won't love your husband for you, nor you for him. You will, and so will the man who marries you. Love is a free and conscious decision.

Putting so much emphasis on compatibility, as many people today do, restricts what each person is willing to give, what each person is willing to receive, and what each person is willing to love in marriage. Compatibility should be thought of as more like a guideline than a rule.

3 - To build on that point, this will contradict conventional wisdom, but trust me on this. You need neither to have sex nor live together before you get married, let alone to find out if you're "compatible". See, my thinking on this is that people are more trying to see how the other person fits into a mold of what they want their partner to be, rather than, as I said earlier, loving a whole person.

Plus, something else to think about. How easy do you think it would be to slip into complacency about where your relationship is going if you have sex or live together prior to making that commitment?

4 - If you want to spend money on your wedding, fine. But just remember that a wedding is a day. Marriage, however, is for life. The final bill for my wedding was about $8,000, including the honeymoon. It is a big and important day, don't get me wrong. Put effort into it, make it a beautiful day. But remember that the wedding is the gateway into marriage.

I hope all this helps.

[DermalPunch]

COMMUNICATE! Do not let things fester. Have sex. A lot. Be open. Have new experiences together. Keep yourself fit and sexy. Dress up for one another. Play with each other. Support one another's dreams and do not accept treatment less than you are worth so your partner maintains respect for you.

Don't seek validation outside from other people. Ask your partner for attention and validation.

[TheNameIsRob]

Well said. Best advice I’ve ever heard I think and I hope lots of people read it and remember it.

[DermalPunch]

@TheNameIsRob me too. Everyone is so cynical. I used to be resigned as well. No more.

[jennifer_bloom]

Look for a good team player and not a hot sex partner if you want a husband.

[HighValue]

1. Live together for a year first. No matter how long you date someone, you won't really know how compatible you are until you live together.

2. Before living together, discuss financial expectations. What is and what is not acceptable.

3. Before living together, discuss work/chore expectations/responsibilities. Try to be fair. If one person is the sole provider, the other person really should do all the stuff at home because even then it will be only around 1/4 of the working hours of the provider (without kids) and only around 1/2 of the hours of work when you have kids at home that are not school age yet.

4. Have separate checking/savings accounts. It is messed up and causes problems if one person pays their share of the bills and is trying to save money and then the other partner just blows their saved money that they worked for. Plus that way each person has their own account that they can spend from whenever they want.

5. Any time there will be a large purchase that will require payments (not able to buy outright) it should be discussed between the partners and figure out who will be paying for it and for how long.

6. Don't waste money on an expensive ring or large wedding ceremony (inviting co workers, friends of friends, people that you are not with IRL on a frequent basis). That leads to instant debt and makes your relationship more difficult and less likely to succeed long term.

7. For men: Insist on a prenuptial agreement so you don't get screwed over financially. For women: sign a prenuptial agreement so you know that he is still with you years later because he still cares and WANTS to be together, not because he doesn't want to lose the stuff he worked for over the years. And yes, I have known people like that in real life that are staying together and are miserable, but due to no prenuptial agreement they are going to waste the rest of their lives being miserable because of no prenuptial agreement. That is also why some men cheat. They don't want their partner anymore, but they also don't want to lose their stuff so instead they cheat on the side. Don't put yourself in that situation. Have a prenuptial agreement so both partners know where the relationship stands.

8. Don't become friends with each other's friends. (You can all hang out together in a group to do stuff, but don't hang out with your partner's friends when they are not present.)

9. No matter what you do, there will always be some people that disapprove of your relationship. Realize that you cannot please everyone and that it is YOUR relationship, not theirs. What is important is that YOU two are happy as a couple.

10. Discuss what you both want out of life and make sure it is compatible. For example, do you BOTH want kids (or both don't want kids)? Does one person want a job that requires them to travel away from home often, but the other person wants a good family life and lots of together time at home? Compatibility in those areas matters a lot.

11. Who is going to be the primary decision maker for important decisions? (Regardless of some people's wishful/delusional thinking, equal decision making power in a relationship is impossible.) For example, one parent wants to allow their kids to have smartphones and the other is totally against it. Only ONE person will get their way. Either the kid gets one or they don't. So one person in the relationship does need to have more decision making power than the other, otherwise it just leads to doing things behind their back, lies, and lots of arguing.

I hope that advice helps. :)

[AmeerX]

I am not married but my parents always advise me to do the following things with the girl.

1. Be nice to her but don't take advice from a woman. You take there advice and it fails and they will wholeheartedly deny it and not accept that they blundered.

2. For finances set a lump sum amount you will give to her. A woman who can't control a budget is not really a good wife. She will just suck you dry.

3. Be considerate with her but don't show too much value otherwise she will just end up thinking she owns you.

4. The marriage is about both man and wife and children. The man needs to be attentive to the family needs but keep control of the situation. The entire family will sooner or later start thinking just how the head of the family will think. So if you think jealous of others your wife will start to say same words too. If you like a car they will too. So, don't end up abusing the privilege. Keep it moderate.

5. Don't start throwing gifts every now and then. It will destroy the mind of the family into thinking that's what daddy has to offer. Be more natural, don't buy your family's love.

6. This advice is for couple. Don't discuss family problems with outsiders. With your bestie of the opposite gender especially. Either they could be aiding in your split or they will not be able to help but make it worst. SSo try to sort things out yourself. Ask advice from friends and family but don't try to involve them in the situation. They are usually not thinking in the same mindset. They can get too personal.

7. This is for girls, don't be a drama queen. You have to follow your husband but you don't have to share in the bills. He is supposed to take care of that for you

[socair]

for a guy... don't

the law of averages indicates you will split up.

ending a Cohabiting relationship is far less expensive and drawn out that getting a divorce.

Just don't do it.

women want to marry for different reasons

many have been dreaming of their fairy tale wedding since they were little girls and for some the goal is that wedding with little or no thought of what comes after

many like the ideas of emotional and/or financial security for as long as it suits THEM

some marry for status.. for some of them you are just another step

thinking of getting married guys.. just buy her house and forget about her whilst you support her financially until another sucker comes along

for women.. why wouldn't they get married... the vast majority have nothing to lose except in some cases then its their self respect because of their choice of partner

[Sasha0426]

Maybe everyone should just remain single. Relationships seem to cause a lot of problems.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

@Sasha0426 Except marriage has nothing to do with loving someone. So why does marriage and the government have to be involved?

[Sasha0426]

@Aiko_E_Lara I thought there was ways to avoid the government being involved.

[SwellStroke]

@Sasha0426 Cohabitation is a thing, it varies from state to state. Not sure outside of the US though right off hand. Because when it boils down to it marriage is a piece of paper, then a few benefits financially most of which can still happen without that paper the public servants seem to think needs to be a part of it to be official. *remember they are suppose to be working for us, not the other way around.*

Look at Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell for a Cohabitation relationship. As far back as I can remember they have been together, but never married.

[Sasha0426]

@SwellStroke If you don’t want to get married, that’s totally fine. I just think it’s unfair to project bad experiences onto others. Like, why do you want to make others fear marriage? It’s like you’re trying to dictate their life because of what happened to you.

[SwellStroke]

@Sasha0426 I have been married. It wasn't for me. I have made the choice to just do my thing. However, I don't see where you are took what I said to promote fear of marriage. I had just provided another option that I hadn't seen mentioned, in addition to reminding people the government is suppose to be there for us not against us. While also where did my experiences ever lead you to believe I was dictating to anyone as to manipulate them into complying with my opinion on the matter?

Maybe reread an opinion a few times before replying so that there is a better grasp for intent *I know hard to do over written words* or if all else fails ask the person what they are trying to convey in the message they provided. This will not only provide a healthier environment to grow, but promote better understanding for those willing.

Now go have yourself an amazing day *Happy Thanksgiving if applicable to everyone* I hope for nothing but happiness moving forward. Don't Panic, always know where your towel is and all will be well. :D

[Sasha0426]

Thanks, I guess. But, you do truly support anyone who wants marriage?

[Sasha0426]

@SwellStroke Thanks, I guess. But, you do truly support anyone who wants marriage? (If you see this twice, I don’t know how to delete comments)

[SwellStroke]

@Sasha0426 Not a worry as it happens from time to time in regards to the double post.

I reply to your question, if that is something that consenting indiviuals choose for themselves, then I fully support that choice, as long as it also brings no harm to those around. *Physically or any manner of Negative results are brought about.

Do what ye will, least ye harm none. Yeah?

[Aiko_E_Lara]

@Sasha0426 You "thought"

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Yeah sure there is a way. Just don't get married at all.

[Sasha0426]

Aiko_E_Lara That’s your choice. I just hope you don’t bring down others.

[Sasha0426]

@Aiko_E_Lara There is people who want marriage and that’s totally fine. We should respect each other’s decisions.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

@Sasha0426 Not saying we shouldn't respect it. That was in response to you saying people should just be single just because they don't want marriage. Also I'm just showing you a different perspective on why a lot of people despise marriage. It really do serve no purpose.

[Sasha0426]

Aiko_E_Lara Well, I wouldn’t say that. Let’s say you’re in a relationship and your partner is in the hospital. You wouldn’t be able see them.

[Sasha0426]

@Aiko_E_Lara Or so what I’ve been told. And you can’t really lie without being caught.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

@Sasha0426 If you're talking about places where marriage is a "must" in order to visit someone in the hospital, or whatever then that's basically just the government or the system just trying to get marriage compulsory. If that rule didn't exist then I'd be able to see her. But really that rule don't apply anywhere else.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Not visiting someone hospitalized because we're unmarriage has nothing to do with marriage, it has something to do with handicaps.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

It's also the same as getting drafted doesn't really benefit you and your life. But the government is just like "You can't drive, you can't work, you can't whatever without getting draft"

[LazerBean]

Funny how all the people who are against marriage jump at any chance to vocalize it. Anyone who has been in a good relationship understands the value of marriage.

But on to your question. If you don't know what the other person's views on politics, controversial topics, values, and how they expect every aspect of married and family life to be, then you don't know that person well enough to get into a serious relationship.

[bamesjond0069]

It's funny how all these people running around talking about how great marriage is yet when asked a simple straightforward question about what is "the value of marriage" they can't name even one unique good thing about it.

[LazerBean]

An unvaluable person cannot understand the value of a bond between to valuable people.

[bamesjond0069]

Exactly my point. Bunch of meaningless gibberish. And tell me how a bond equals marriage? They aren't even related. People married have no bond and divorce and people unmarried have strong lifelong relationships...

[LazerBean]

Could you explain our government system to an ant in the way that it would understand? No. Which is why I'm not going to waste my time on you, someone who says things that are so incorrect that nobody even bothers taking statistics on. Continue on your lonely, bitter misery, ant. Happy Thanksgiving.

[bamesjond0069]

What would you even "taking statistics" on in regards to what I said? Smh?

[LazerBean]

Lol now you're admitting that you just make up who has better relationships based on how you feel. What a child.

[bamesjond0069]

Marital status is not evidence of a good or bad relationship. My evidence is some married couples have good ones and some don't. As well as some unmarried couples have good ones and some don't. Not sure how you don't understand this? Are you sure you're not the ant here?

[LazerBean]

And where are your statistics on who has better relationships? Other than "I said so", I mean actual credible sources. You have none. And you will never provide any. I've had this argument with countless people, and not a single person has ever, nor will ever, provide a source supporting their claims like that. So just like I did with the others, I'm going to end this by telling you I'm not going to reply again until you provide a *credible* source for your opinion.

[DaySpring]

@bamesjond0069 Value is subjective. Not everyone's idea of marriage is the same. That is why you and lazerbean can't get on the same page.

[bamesjond0069]

Statistics on what? Are you in like 6th grade or something? What statistics would I be providing? Whats because I said so? Do you know of even one married couple got divorced? Boom. That's the only evidence I'm presenting or need to present. Marriage does not itself equal a good relationship period case closed. Just as a tree does not equal a fish. Here's a tree 🌳 and here's a fish 🐟 no statistics needed? Not sure what even statistics one could provide? Lay off the acid fueled "I got an idea bro" sessions.

[bamesjond0069]

@DaySpring I agree. But where I stick to facts ie marriage does not equal a good relationship... all I get is ranting from the marriage is great folks. This isn't the first time. They usually just babble like this incoherently. Like what changes for the better from the day before marriage to the day after marriage? Very straightforward simple question. But no married person can answer it in a positive way. Smh.

[SwellStroke]

@LazerBean In what way was your responses helpful to the conversation? Discrediting someone, while not putting forth that which you are calling fowl on from others, not a good position to start with.
As you stated the stats you are asking him to provide they are not collected. So you provided the answer as to why there was no link. So your overall approach to this topic and responses to others attempting to have a civil and intellectual conversation is mute to a degree, for hostility and the treatment of others you deem lesser than is an example as to why things have a hard time moving forward over all. Showing the inability for compassion, understanding, and mentality needed to bring about the betterment of the race as a whole, to which we will grow together. If ya so choose. That is the great thing though, its your choice to continue as you have shown here, or step back, evaluate, process, collect, then present your findings in a more constructive manner might just show us all there are better ways interact with those we don't agree with.

As for that, unless you are willing to reply in a constructive and non hostile manner, it will be your waist of time as I have no desire to put anymore energy to attempt to offer a person of younger age a chance to see a potentially better path in regards to the day to day interactions yet to be faced on your path of life when being involved in conversations. If not best of luck to ya, I hope the vileness releases you so that you may find happiness in what you chose to be a part of.

[LazerBean]

*He* came into *my* answer to making his claims. I didn't ask anything from anyone. Thus it is *his* responsibility to provide validity to his opinion that he is asserting onto someone who didn't ask for it. I'm not interested in changing his mind. I'm not interested in talking to anyone as all who makes claims that they are incapable of backing up. My only point in intereracting with him was to make him realize that nobody is missing the fact that his passionate assertions hold no evidence behind them, and that if he is going to blow hot air that he better get used to getting called out for it. If you find holding adults accountable for things they say "vile", then your whole post is utterly hypocritical, biased, and equally vile. Such irony.

[SwellStroke]

See that is the truly funny part of this, once you posted your OPINION you lost the right to claim it as your as you put it out to the public. For you to have that possesive attitude is concerning as again that just shows your a portion of how it is when interacting with you. I had hoped that maybe you could understand that not being hostile tends to bring about better results. However, as you stated you had no intention as to even afford a reply let a lone should they have found a credible source to provide to you, even if they had it appears from this thread that it wouldn't have changed anything.

I had attempted to look for the stats myself, however again as you said It doesn't exist. However, I would feel comfortable going out on a limb to consider that had the information been gathered and stored as the others, things would look vastly different. However again that is speculation on my part, and rather than walk down that path I will leave that to others more qualified in the matter.

I am all for accountablilty hence why I responded as the manner in which you decided to conduct yourself calling someone an ant and over all demeanor in which your replies were conveyed was in fact vile. So take that attempt at using irony and put it back in your pocket for use when it would be viable. As I can forsee you will be needing before I shall. Thanks for the attempt to project unto others when you had that accountability retturn to collect on you beliving you are entitled to treat others as lesser than. Yes that is the Vile I spoke of was in regards to how you chose to respond to them, not even a chance at an Adult conversation, yet you want to call for accountability? Ya got some growing to do, and I hope you the best of luck in your travels in expanding your very narrow view of what it means to be a decent person. Granted that is just from this interaction, likely unfair as I truly have no clue. However, ya wanted accountability, so where better than yourself.

[LazerBean]

That's a lot of words. You must be new to Gag. If you stick around for any amount of time, you will learn eventually how to differentiate who is looking for reason and who is looking to vent their misery and failures.

[SwellStroke]

Likely didn't take the time to actualy read what I responded with I venture?
Me being new around here isn't the matter being discussed. Your inability to interact with others in a productive and civilized manner was.
So rather than attempting to portay yourself as more than an young 20 something that has a large chuck of life that will show you that you will reap what you have sown. Treat others in such a manner it will find its way back to the source. Best of luck when your recipt finds you and I hope that you are able to wake up open your eyes and realize conducting yourself as such is your projection that others won't be fooled by, and that you will realize it is far better to truthfully speak softly, carry compasion for others as you haven't walked in their shoes, and when it boils down to it, we are destined for the same off ramp at some point down the road. Why not spread happy and positive unto others instead. Peace out, I haven't the time to continue the loop of your current inability to see there is more than just needing stats when ya have lived a few more years you'll understand better. Until then.. Best Wishes.

[Fuentes]

@bamesjond0069 just give her the divorce rate it clearly bugs her that people don't wanna get married hahaha hurts her "christian values" if she can't google the MEGA HIGH divorce rate and never heard of it. It just simply shows she lives under a rock. The US divorce rate is so HIGH, that even the CDC post it hahahaha. Just post it for her to see and you win the argument.

[LazerBean]

You're right, I didn't. I only skimmed your last message because although somewhat well-meaning in a weird self righteous way, you're still a time waster. And for the record, I do treat people the way I want to be treated. If I ever start constantly throwing up bitter bullshit about things that I cannot prove to people who didn't ask, I hope someone puts me in my place. Just like I'm doing to you and the other person. The wonderful thing about holding yourself and the people you associate with to a no bullshit standard is that you never have to deal with bullshit in your daily life, this you never feel the need to jump people online to push your nonsensical beliefs like the other guy. Pretty interesting how you say "treat others better" to me because I reprimanded him for not staying in their lane, but him for going around telling people that their marriage has no value and demanding that they prove their personal relationships have value. But hopefully one day you will outgrow your hypocrisy. Until then, I hope you and all other hypocrites will continue to steer clear of me. May your situation continue as it is until you decide to grow up and think more clearly. Bye 👋

[LazerBean]

@Fuentes yes or no, does divorce rate prove that couples who shack up have happier relationships than those who get married? I'll reply once you drop the relationship satisfaction statistic on unmarried cohabitating couples. (Hint, it doesn't exist)

[Fuentes]

Lol the family court child support situation statistics and the high amount of single mothers proves regular couples don't work out either, what world do you live in? Is it small town mentality or something else ? Haha you can just Google that people don't shack up and stay together long. They always wanna be married after awhile of they make it that far and then comes the big bad divorce years later. You can google all of this on. gov websites of real statistics this is not even a argument.

[bamesjond0069]

@LazerBean I actually agree with you when you're asking "does divorce rate prove that couples who shack up have happier relationships than those who get married?" There is no statistic that exists... OR could exist to prove or disprove my point.

This not my argument at all.

But my problem is this... you said "Thus it is *his* responsibility to provide validity to his opinion..." my "opinion" Is a question no married people answer coherently... what is the benefit to being married? My opinion is that I don't make decisions without a reason. No married people provide a reason and I can observe of a few reasons not to... so therefore there is no reason.

Would you accept if a zoodoo monk says "remain a Virgin, live in silence, forsake all family, get beat with a stick daily" and you say why should I be a zoodoo monk? What's the benefits? And they say... "didn't I tell you you get beat with a stick daily?" How is this any different? If marriage is so great why wouldn't any married people simply just list why? Seems very cultish almost.

[Finchie40]

Make sure you both remove selfishness for each other , resist temptations for each other , understand you can’t always be right and they are wrong , Communicate , make each other
Feel wanted and respected , Make each other your number 1 priority over everyone , Have a lot
Of sex , don’t use sex as a weapon , Marriage is not easy but it also doesn’t have to be hard be honest with each other and make each other feel valued

[Kinkyhubby]

I tell a lot of young guys, married a girl you that, that you barely have fights with, or arguments.
Because you will have them when married they may be a lot of arguments, but it will happen. They should be your best friend, With mutual respect and love. Marriage can become a 2nd job without vacation. And once you add kids to it will will strain you. Life becomes crazy. That is why the person you marry should be your best friend, and always remember to remember why you married your spouse.

[aaron210419]

Wait. Be absolutely sure you know what you're getting yourself into, and try to stay away from making assumptions. Find a partner who takes an interest in things you like and do the same for them. Also, it's not healthy to spend every waking moment together. You should both have friends and allow each other to spend time with them.

[Anonymous]

The best advice I can give to another man is don't get married. And if you must, insist on a prenup, and if she even so much as bats an eye, don't marry her.

I have seen so many men in my life get married only to have their wives cheat on them and/or divorce them and lie in divorce court. The guys' lives are ruined, their financial health is destroyed and they end up with limited or no access to their own children.

[Sasha0426]

Should relationships be a thing anymore? It just seems like they just cause issues.

[HighValue]

You actually speak the truth about either not marrying or requiring a prenuptial agreement. That is why you got many downvotes. Most women can't handle not being able to abuse and steal from a man. Every single one of them that downvotes a prenuptial agreement is sexist and wants to abuse men.

[Opinion Owner]

@Sasha0426 Relationships don't cause issue; women do. Modern women are destroying marriage.

[Sasha0426]

@Opinion Owner So should we stop existing? I mean, I’m down for that honestly.

[Opinion Owner]

@Sasha0426 Nope, just be better humans.

[Sasha0426]

@Opinion Owner I prefer just to not exist.

[Opinion Owner]

@Sasha0426 Why? Just be a good person and make the word a better place.

[Sasha0426]

@Opinion Owner It would be one less woman you have to worry about.

[Opinion Owner]

@Sasha0426 I love good women, they are just hard to find. Be a good woman. Problem solved.

[Sasha0426]

@Opinion Owner I’m not good. I can guarantee you that.

[MzAsh]

Learn from the mistakes of the divorced, and don’t follow in their footsteps.

[Googlemyahoo]

Loyalty, honesty & willing to sacrifice your interests for others, wife & children. Things most people absolutely lack and aren’t willing to do hence their marriages fail.

[Fuentes]

Lol I would never get married in the first place

[Asker]

Well then, this question isn't for you in the first place...

[LazerBean]

That's good to hear.

[Fuentes]

@LazerBean does it bother you people don't wanna get married? Haha

[Anonymous]

Date a lot and choose wisely. Most men are not worth marriage.

[DaySpring]

There are plenty of people who date a lot and see no good results.
There are people that date once and have a lifetime of love.
How does one choose wisely when they aren't wise.
Most people aren't worth dating because of mass culture.

[HighValue]

"Date a lot." That actually makes the woman NOT worth marriage. Her having many past partners is the PRIMARY reason why they will never have a good man for long term.
This is terrible advice and is counterproductive.

[Kinkyhubby]

The same can be said that a lot of women might not be worth marriage. a lot of women change after marriage, and you say choose wisely, most of the time the woman will wait for a man to ask her to marry. If she keeps saving no, eventually she be old, and guys will think she is damaged good.

[Cheriecoco]

Take your time , don’t rush and get to know the person you willing to spend a life time with.

[PizzaPieMamaBear]

Prioritize your spouse

[KrakenAttackin]

Don't.