Is seeking beauty a sin?

[Anonymous]

My situation is I am to get married but I desire a beautiful wife at least. I wished for a European woman but I think I will settle for my own country woman. I am to marry in arranged marriage but I want a beautiful obedient wife at least if I am not going to get my love. I had 2 heartbreaks and I want to at least have a beautiful wife to calm me and make me happy.

I am a little upset about God's work. I used to be the one who consoled the ugliest girl in class like in the movies and now I feel like I have to settle for even less :/

[GreenLanternI0I]

If you are settling down with someone that you do not really desire or even Truly like and deep down you know this is not the woman you want to spend your entire life with, your marriage is already Ruined and Jeopardized and it won't last long at all. Plus, ones you would have kids with her, my man, you are Screwed for Life. As a man to man, Don't do this. DO NOT get married to a girl that you know, YOU KNOW, you don't truly like. Can you imagine living with a regret for the next 50 years, knowing every single day you are married NOT to a type of girl of your dream. It also will effect your wife and your children man.

I have exactly the same problem with my family. I'm very attracted to Asian girls and I had this dream of having an Asian G. F/Wife since I was in High School, which was 20 years ago, but my family was constantly pushing me toward type of girls that I'm not really into. Yes they are pretty, all girls are, but this is not what I want, this is not a type of girl I want to be home with for many years to come, you feel me?

[Asker]

Mind if you tell me your ethnicity? And who did you end up marrying?

Actually, I love my father so much. I don't want to see him hurt. He is a modern man but I am not being granted the same type of chance my brother is being given. I just feel really irritated that my father is old and he wants to see one of his son to be married. My brother wants to go to Sweden but I am just stuck picking up after him. I blame my brother for this because he was told to go years ago but then he was okay with the easy life here now he suddenly dropped everything and he just wants to leave.

On the other hand, I myself showed desire and my parents wouldn't let me leave back then. I thought my brother will take the reins of the family but I am starting to think that honor has been diverted to me.

[GreenLanternI0I]

Even though I can tell you my ethnicity, I won't, because it is irrelevant. What is relevant though, is you trying to please your father, by sacrificing your own happiness. I made exactly the same mistake and you know what, I've realized only few short months ago after almost 20 Freaking years man, that both my parents (even though they are divorced) lived their life's the way THEY wanted, both of them did what they truly liked and even though they are divorced to this very day both of them are happy and enjoying their separate life's to the fullest. I lived my mom's life, joy and happiness, not mine (and I was angry and depressed because of it, without realizing until few months ago why I was so angry, sad and depressed all the time). You are about to make Exactly the same mistake, you are about to live your father's life, your father's happiness and your father's joy and all of those 3 things are not yours. It will bit you in the ass man. Maybe not tomorrow or even 5 years from now, but there will be a day and I promise you that day will come, when you wisen up and realize, just like I realized few months ago that you have been living someone else's life (your father's) but not your.

[Asker]

How do I deal with this situation then? I am torn apart by the pressure to accept whatever is on the table. It's basically communism at this point. God creating Eve and asking Adam to choose a wife.
I get it we are there children but we are not them. They had long lives. We have just 1/13 the the life they spend.

That day of realization is already here. My fear is that I don't want to feel like a fool by trying too hard because the harder I tried to do anything the harder it always got for me in the past.

[GreenLanternI0I]

This is where difficult and unavoidable part comes in. There is no easy way out from this situation, you have to talk to your father, face to face, heart to heart. No mind games, no tricks. One on one. You have to be 100% honest with him and yourself and explain to him that this is not what you want and explain to him why. Tell him exactly what you like, don't be shy, he is not your friend or buddy, he is your Father man. He's also a red blooded man, he will understand you. I know it is difficult to imagine now, but ones you talk to him and tell him everything that is on your mind, you will shrug off so many heavy bricks from your shoulders, that the amount of happiness and relief you will get, knowing that you don't have to live in someone else's golden cage anymore, is indescribable.

[inhua]

somehow it's always men's desires and preferences that get shamed

[Asker]

Actually, I got most of the answer but I have a slightly different view I want to ask.
My question is that if I am wrong in seeking beauty? I mean I have to live with her for God knows how long. I burried the idea of going to Europe out of my selfish desires. But I still feel I am missing out on something. I mean I get it they are high maintenance and psycho as the other commentator has revealed.
I am just saying may be I don't end up with an ugly wife both inside and outside. Instead of just the inside part

[Anonymous]

You will find beauty in her once you see how she caters to you. So sorry you were swept off your feet when you first saw her or love at first sight but it will grow

[Asker]

You meant, not swept off the feet?
Actually, I have two choices now that the European desire can't take hold due to family reasons.
A: a woman who is good looking and pretty fair in both color and decently and modest.
B: My distant cousin who I don't even know.
My question wasn't about making a woman my maid exactly. I meant if I am missing something by not going after something I like

[Opinion Owner]

Sometimes you do sometimes you dont. But looks fade personality doesn't.

[Asker]

Problem is my family is particular about getting a white girl but native girl and she shouldn't be fat. They are not seeing personality.
The girls I have talked to seemed like angels both in appearance and in personality. But the native girls are so dumb and I feel they will not understand me.

Also please tell me, are you white or European that you are saying that looks fade but personality doesn't?

[Asker]

Please help, God will appreciate whatever guidance you can give me

[Opinion Owner]

Why does it matter with my race lol
Anyway I wish you luck so sorry you have to go through this

[Asker]

I asked because I want to know the perspective of someone who is from there what they will think of it.

And actually this is a sub question I like to ask. I am conflicted about it. May be I am in the wrong but I think my real problem is I feel I am missing out on something when most of my colleagues have beautiful European girls. They migrated right after graduation. I stayed in spirit of patriotism and I feel left behind ((

I don't want an ugly wife. She be at least close to my own reflection. My parents once told me that Pairs are made in heaven. Now that the moment of truth draws near, I feel pressured about it

[Opinion Owner]

All races are beautiful. Sorry kiddo

[Anonymous]

Okay so you want these things in a marriage but are you good looking? Will you be an obedient and faithful husband?

[Asker]

I am not 10 but I look more on the white side with a little tan like the Georgians. I will be faithful of course that's why I fear it. If I was to be unfaithful I would just quench my lust by going to a European brothel or something.

[Asker]

I get a 6 or Max 7. Not more. I am not fat, or uneducated either. I have good work. So, I am not attracted to that type of stuff.

[Opinion Owner]

This isn’t the 1700’s where women are raised to just be someone’s wife. I’m just simply saying you have high expectations which isn’t wrong but it’s wrong to have them when you don’t match up to them yourself.

[Asker]

I understand

[lalaloveee]

Of course, your request that a beautiful European woman is a reasonable one.

But the real question is, does a beautiful European woman want to be a maid for a loser man?

[Asker]

I already told you. I can't go there. I am not a loser. I think you didn't read the question properly. I said since it is going to be an arranged marriage, should I seek beauty of native woman or even that's too much to ask?

[lalaloveee]

arranged marriage, obedient wife. Very conservative.

Why would a European secular woman accept a conservative man? Why should she leave her country, which prioritizes social equality, and come to your country?

What makes you a loser is you precisely believing that.

[Asker]

🤣 are you stupid. I am telling you if it had been the girl from Europe it certainly wouldn't be arranged marriage.
Now, under the circumstances, I am offered the option to marry one of two girls. I have only seen there picture. I can't talk to them.
I didn't even ask her. God, I am wasting time on talking to you. No thanks 🙏

[lalaloveee]

Generally, people like you who don't know what they're talking about are called idiots.

I'm not talking about the impossibility of having an arranged marriage with a European.

I'm saying that your mentality does not match the mentality of a European woman.

[Asker]

You can't win an argument from a woman, can you.
No, I am not given an option to marry a European in an arranged marriage. Everyone stopped me.

[lalaloveee]

First, learn to deal with your anger issues. You look just like a little girl trying to hide your anger with a few silly emojis.

Second, because of you are conservative who accepts conservative culture, don't make silly wishes that a European woman will want to marry you. Time to get realistic, princess.

Also, I thought you are an Indian, but since you have the same intelligence level as an average baboon, I decided you are actually a kebab. An untrained kebab is always characterized by its quick aggression.

[Asker]

Bye 👋

[Fleet7635]

N not at all