Should I tell a friend that she is not invited to my wedding?

[Via_8662]

I'm having a non-traditional wedding at a sports venue. The capacity limit is pretty small, so we could only invite close family and a couple of friends. I honestly had assumed some family members would not be able to make it, but everyone has confirmed. I have a friend from high school that I'm not super close to anymore, but I think she still thinks of me as one of her closer friends. She has a few things going on that result in her not always being super mentally stable. One of my close friends is encouraging me to let her know that she's not invited out of a fear that she could overreact if she found out another way. What would be the best way to handle this? Tell her or continue to not say anything unless she asks?

[jennifer_bloom]

Its easy - say your in laws are very stubborn and have mandatory invitees they are forcing you to bring and you can barely squeeze enough guests for your immediate family so they won't be able to attend but are welcome to watch on videos or interact with you digitally after the event.

[Simslover92]

If it were me, I would tell her somewhat the truth which is that she's not invited because the capacity limit has been reached and you could only invite your closest family and friends. I would leave the part out about her being super mentally unstable. Tell her it was a tough decision to make out of the friends you had to choose from and just thought that you honestly weren't as close anymore enough to invite her to the wedding and hope she doesn't take it too personally.

If she gets super upset over it then so be it but at least you told her the truth and won't have a guilty conscience.

[exitseven]

I also had a very small wedding and I could not invite anyone i went to college with, If I invited one of them I would have to invite the whole group. There were two girls that I was really close to so I made it a point to visit them in person and explain this to them. They were okay with it.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[SahuShekhar]

If you are thinking of her (She means something that's why you are thinking so much) and believe she would be excited to attend your wedding. Do yourself a favor by inviting her.

The issues in your friendship, her not mentally available etc should be dealt separately.

[Via_8662]

I wasn't that concerned about it, but another friend is pushing me to tell her due to being worried how she could react when she realizes she wasn't invited. I really dont know which way is better.

I'm unable to invite her due to capacity limits.

[provokeesmokee]

It's a good idea to let her know ahead of time.

One, you can cushion it by taking her for a nice meal and giving her a small token (if you want).

Two, you can explain and be clear this isn't that you don't value her friendship. It's because your venue is limited and even family you expected not to RSVP have done so, squeezing your invite limit.

Three, you can gauge her reaction.

When people have different perceptions on the importance of their relationship, it can make an event like this seem like a rejection rather than an unfortunate circumstance. If she wigs out and begins being shitty and entitled, you can judge what action would be appropriate from here (including, worst case, making sure your venue knows to expect an Entitled Karen).

If she holds you responsible for your venue's limited size, you know she doesn't really have your interests at heart.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

I wouldn't tell her she's not invited, but rather why you're not able to invite her.
It's all about wording.
Knowing how women are, you should definitely mention something if you still want her to be your friend lol

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Anything after the fact will just sound like excuses

[Anonymous]

you're not close to her anymore. do you even talk to her? more than once every 6 months? i'm talking like do you talk to her every week or once a month? probably not... she doesn't really need to know you're getting married anyways. and if she asks, only family and a few others could fit. that's it.

you do NOT just tell someone "i'm getting married, you're not invited" in any way... that's just weird...

[Opinion Owner]

you're also not responsible for her mental health or how she'll react. that's all on her. NOT you.

[SnowedIn]

No. If she didn't receive an invitation she'll know. There's no reason to announce to those who didn't receive invitations that they didn't receive one.

If she asks, politely state that seating is limited and has filled up with family.

[itsalyssaagain]

Personally I wouldn’t have the heart to do that. I’d invite my friend. One person can’t be such a hassle.

[Christoff92]

Well you got to break the news. But can camcode it and put in on YouTube for her to watch as a live video. Even many who can't also come to your wedding 😀

[Wise4myage]

Just her the truth about not knowing how many family members would end up attending, and leave it at that.

[es20490446e]

If this was my wedding, I would try to invite her.

[Jltakk]

unless she was expecting to, nope. personally, if I ever get married, I won't be inviting anyone outside of the parents.

[MeatPuppet]

Unless she makes it pretty clear she's expecting to be invited, no.