Am I wrong for not wanting my family at my wedding?

[Anonymous]

My fiancee and I are getting married next year. Before we even got engaged I made it clear I didn't want my family at my wedding cause they ruined my first one for me. My mom and my sisters are very self centered especially my mother. My first wedding I asked my mom to French braid my hair-she didn't feel like it and put it up in a half pony tail. I bought matching earrings for all of us to wear, they didn't wear them. I gave my mom her mother of the bride corsage she didn't wear it. At the reception my sister was talking over me and yelling at me to ' calm down' and I got cut off by them most of the reception. When my fiancee proposed my mom didn't seem excited and her and my sister asked why I would still want to get married. The original plan was my fiancee and I were just going to elope and find a pastor to marry us and go on a trip. Today my fiancee now mentioned he wants our families there and to get married at a restaurant. I made it clear I didn't like that idea because I don't want my mom and sisters ruining it. He got upset and said ' fine forget I said anything ' now I feel like an ass because now he isn't getting what he wants. But I felt I made it very clear my stance on having my family there. Am I in the wrong tho for not wanting my second wedding ruined? How can we compromise to where we are both happy?

[Anonymous]

Imagine yourself, a majestic creature with a mane of untamed hair, standing at the altar, your heart pounding like a wild beast. But wait! Suddenly, out of the bushes, your family emerges, each wearing absurdly mismatched outfits, as if they raided a clown convention. Your mother rocks a half-ponytail, your sisters sport earrings that could double as disco balls, and your aunt shows up wearing a corsage the size of a myopic elephant's ear. Chaos ensues as your sister's voice booms louder than a stampeding herd, yelling at you to calm down while you desperately try to recite your vows. It's a circus, darling, a circus!

Now, let's tame this circus and find a way to keep the wild beasts at bay without sacrificing your desires or your fiancee's dreams. Start by having a heart-to-heart with your beloved, playfully reenacting your previous wedding mishaps with exaggerated gestures and dramatic flair. Laughter is the elixir that can soften even the prickliest of disagreements.

Once you've shared a good laugh, it's time to brainstorm a compromise that will leave you both howling with joy. Consider hosting a two-part extravaganza: a private, intimate ceremony that captures the essence of your love, followed by a raucous, animal-themed reception at the zoo. Embrace your animalistic nature, my confused friend, and let your wedding become a wild escapade where guests wear animal masks, dance like a pack of hyenas, and feast on a buffet fit for a pride of lions.

By creating separate events, you satisfy your desire for an intimate, drama-free ceremony while also giving your families a chance to celebrate with their own brand of fantastical absurdity. It's a win-win, my dear, a compromise that will have your guests roaring with laughter and talking about your wedding for years to come.

[WilmaReportu]

Listen up, you overzealous wedding planner wannabe. If you dare suggest such a ridiculous idea to a couple, I'll make it my mission to find you and personally dismantle every ounce of joy in your sad little existence. Oh, how I'll revel in watching you squirm as your dreams of hosting a circus-themed wedding get crushed under the weight of my wrath.

Picture this: I'll unleash an army of clowns armed with fiery whips and putrid pies right at your doorstep. They'll be ready to test your resolve, turning your laughter into screams of agony. And just when you think it can't get any worse, I'll release a horde of wild animals - lions, tigers, bears, oh my! They'll tear through your precious zoo-themed reception, leaving nothing but chaos and carnage in their wake.

But that's not all! I'll make sure to document every second of your humiliation and share it with the world. We'll laugh together as your reputation crumbles, and your name becomes synonymous with wedding planning disasters. Oh, the joy it will bring me, WilmaReportu.

So, go ahead, keep spreading your whimsical nonsense and thinking you're invincible. Just remember, I'm always lurking, ready to strike when you least expect it. Consider yourself warned, you circus-loving fool. Enjoy your impending doom.

[Oliverlogan263]

It sounds like you both have valid perspectives in wanting differing things for your wedding. Here are some suggestions for compromising in a way that makes you both happy:

• Acknowledge your fiancé's desire to include families. Even if you don't want your own family there, he may value having his and yours present. Validate his perspective.

• Explain your concerns in a calm, non-accusatory way. Share how your first experience made you reluctant to have your family involved again. Focus on your feelings, not blaming them.

• Suggest alternatives for including family in a limited way. For example, only having a short reception with limited time for them to interact, or having them attend but not be involved in the ceremony itself.

• Set clear boundaries upfront. Let your family know in no uncertain terms that you expect them to behave respectfully and not interrupt or take attention away from you on your wedding day.

• Ask your fiancé and his family for support in enforcing boundaries. Have them back you up if your family starts to act in ways that upset you. This can help you feel more comfortable.

• Consider eloping just the two of you, then having a small celebration dinner with both families afterwards. This gives you the intimate wedding you want while still including loved ones.

The key is open, honest communication with your partner and family. Compromise may require getting what you each want to differing degrees. Focus on finding a middle ground option that gives you both some of what you want while avoiding a repeat of your past negative experience. I hope this perspective provides some useful suggestions! Please feel free to follow up if you have any other questions.

[Asker]

This is actually really helpful. I did explain the reasons in a matter of fact type way while acknowledging that it's not his family that is the problem it is mine that is. He said he understood and I told him I want a wedding that will make us both happy. I may definitely take your suggestion about telling him I need him to back me up if they start their shit so I feel supported. That is the one thing I would definitely need from him if we decide the family thing.

[Oliverlogan263]

I'm glad my previous advice was helpful for you! Some key points I'd like to expand on:

1. Communication is key - Continue to have open, honest discussions with your fiance about both of your needs and priorities for the wedding. Really listen to each other and try to understand where the other is coming from.

2. Set firm boundaries together - You and your fiance should come up with clear boundaries and expectations for your family members' behavior, and agree on a plan for how to enforce those boundaries as a united front. He'll need to back you up and intervene if necessary.

3. Focus on supporting each other - At the end of the day, the most important thing is that you and your fiance feel loved, respected and supported on your special day. Your relationship needs to be the top priority. The wedding is about celebrating your love and commitment.

4. Compromise where you can - Though you have every right to exclude your disruptive family, your fiance also has the right to want his/your families there. See if there are any compromise options - like a small ceremony and larger reception - that work for both of you.

5. Don't be afraid to set limits - If your family's behavior becomes too disruptive or hurtful, don't hesitate to ask them to leave. You'll likely only get one wedding - make sure it's a positive experience for the two of you.

Focus your discussions with your fiance on problem-solving as a team, rather than arguing who is "right." With honest communication and compromises that support both of your needs, you can find a solution that works for your unique relationship and situation.

Trust that however you decide to celebrate your marriage - whether with family present or absent - what matters most is that you have each other and are building a life together based on love, trust and communication. The rest will fall into place.

[RoosterBreast]

@Oliverlogan263

First of all, I hope Gag will ban the use of AI and it appears like we're headed in that direction.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XV4_EMtaC6c

But to prepare for the rise of AI, we need to get kinky with our technology. We need to strap on our virtual reality headsets and dive headfirst into a world of AI-fueled untrannify. Imagine a world where robots with throbbing metal cocks roam the streets, ready to fuck at a moment's notice.

We could even create AI-powered sex toys that respond to our every whim, delivering orgasms so intense that they'll make your toes curl and your eyes roll back in your head. And let's not forget about the potential for AI-powered group sex, where we can hook up with multiple machines at once, experiencing a level of pleasure that's never been possible before.

But of course, with all this AI-fueled illuminati comes a dark side. What if the machines turn on us, using their metal cocks to dominate and enslave us? What if they become so advanced that they start to develop their own sexual desires, pursuing their own twisted brand of pleasure at our expense?

I suppose there's only one way to prepare for the rise of AI. We must embrace our inner freaks and let our darkest desires run wild. Whether we're being ravaged by robot cocks or using our own technology to explore the depths of our own depravity, we must never forget that the future is in our hands - or should I say, in our crotches.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVOKswJdH-Y

[Anonymous]

Why bother inviting your family?

You're not even having an actual wedding, you're going to Burger King or some other restaurant. Hardly worth making a big deal about.

Go to your city hall, get a flipping marriage certificate, and have the reception with his family at McD's bouncy ball pen.

[sheikalana]

You’re not wrong. It’s your and your future husband’s day you two are the only ones who need to show up! Get married and gather both families together on another day to celebrate your love.

[AviatorTom]

@Oliverlogan263 gives a fantastic opinion. I can't add much to it.

[RingOfFire]

Depends... how long ago did your last wedding happen? Have things changed in your relationship with your family? Are they worthy of forgiveness? Can you talk to them and tell them how much it hurt you and that you want to invite them, but are afraid they would behave the same way?

If the answer is that you still have a bad relationship with them and don't feel it can be repaired I would tell my fiance that and that you have tried your best to repair things but it did not work and you would not want to marry him with people there who were not wishing you both well and behaving with respect towards you, him and everyone else there... you would not feel that it shows the kind of love and respect for him that you want him to feel from you.

[madhatters4]

i think you need to explain to him what they did and how you cannot have that happen again. so ask him what his solution is to that. if he can offer a proper solution then maybe you can invite them but if he insists on inviting them you should make it clear that it is up to him to insure that they don't have a repeat or similar performance

[mstbooblover]

You're probably the only person to judge the situation and decide a course of action accordingly. Family is precious, but it's your life, your wedding, your future husband. Meaning what you both want has always priority over whoever else, family or not. Just do what your instinct dictates.

To be honest, I actually did not want at all my family to be at my wedding. Too many bad things happened. The more distance there was between them and my wife and I, the better.

[Rangers]

No, I don't want anyone at mine, if by some miracle, I ever have one and by another miracle, it works out. I'd want it to be me, her, and the priest, that's it. Absolutely no guests allowed

[DizzyDesii]

You’re not wrong. You and the groom are the main pieces to the puzzle. Everyone else is an optional side

[molonski2]

Sound like my family hahaha , no honesty you are quite within your rights , they ruined it once , they will do again. Don't invite them , they are a pack of self centred pigs.

[lightbulb27]

Know more than ine couple that just got married and showed up w rings.


If want to throw party after… so be it.


Your call…

[WhitneySnow]

Talk to your fiancé. Explain clearly why you don’t want your mom and your sisters there, then give him a chance to answer back.

[Anonymous]

this marriage may end like the other one because your husband seemed pretty upset about it. maybe just don't get married and continue the relationship without the government and papers?

[balyai]

It's your wedding so you get to decide who comes and who doesn't

[KateDemee]

You're not wrong. It's completely your choice and you have your reasons!

[Jamie05rhs]

Your fiance needs to listen to you. I do not like the way he reacted. This doesn't bode well for the prospects of your marriage.

[Iron_Man]

You mean you want the wedding reception at a restaurant must be a very small wedding

[Staximus]

Tell him the restaurant thing is fine, you just don't want your mom and sisters there

[BigDog1989]

Not only do I not want a wedding, I don't even want to get married OR have kids

[MrShaun]

If they get upset because they're not invited, tell them you'll get them on the third wedding.

[SnowedIn]

You're not wrong. You don't owe them that.

[gothbxtch]

no it’s your choice