So my fiance, (we're getting married in the summer). Since we've been together he'd go visit his family up north for the summer. Like a month or two. It's mom, step dad and younger siblings. His siblings are older now, one's in college and the other is about to graduate highschool. So he liked spending time with them but they're older and they do their own thing. My fiance complained this summer how he felt bored. So he said I can come with him to visit since we'll be married by the time but the thing is I don't feel we should stay for a month. Maybe two weeks at most but I'd feel I'd overstay my welcome. Instead of spending the summer with his fam we can just go on vacations or do other stuff.
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I think you should give it a shot and see how you feel first. If this is important to him and you can afford to be there for a month you could totally go.
Yeah I just don't want to over stay my welcome, because I've never been there before.
Do you get along with his family? I think if you’re going to be his wife, you aren’t overstaying your welcome.
We've met once, I think his mom might feel some type of way I'm not sure. I just don't want to stay for a month, I feel we could have fun together than be bored at his fam's house for a month.
You said he was bored this past summer, and it sounds like the reason for this is because his siblings are grown and do their own thing so he’s on his own. So in my mind, it doesn’t sound like generally it’s a boring time, he just doesn’t have someone to have fun with.
I feel like you’ve talked yourself so far into the “no” zone that you’re adamant about not wanting to stay a month, but all I’m saying is that maybe you should give it a chance.
I’m not saying you’re being irrational or that I don’t agree, i do hear you, that is a long stay. Still, at least by going through with it you can say you tried and were ultimately too bored vs talking him out of the month stay off the bat. I also think that since you’ve only met his family once it’s a great opportunity to spend time and get to know them, especially his mom who you think feels some type of way about you.
Bite the bullet this once and if you hate it then never again, and he won’t be able to say you didn’t try.
Mentality is everything, so if you go into it like “I’m gonna try for the month and if it’s awful then maybe he’ll agree to leave”, even that is better than outright saying 2 weeks. Everything has a ripple effect, and you don’t want to be the one responsible for changing his plans when his family asks questions. Also, maybe a compromise would help. Like summer is about 2 months and some change (at least in my area) so what if you plan to do something you enjoy for the other month? Doesn’t have to be the entire time due to work and other responsibilities but it can still be fun.
I thought love make family together..
But your love separate him from his family.
Nope
Yeah, I agree with you.
Yeahh I just wanna do stuff too for the summer.
Yeah, vacations are awesome to spend time with someone special