Why didn't my ex also feel that I was his SOULMATE? ? ?

[Anonymous]

I just had another dream (a bad one) of my ex fiance. I thought he was my soulmate, maybe because we spent so much time together the first few times even though it was on and off and it was a toxic partnership! Part of the reason it was like that was at first, it was very hard for me to accept that he had a child already from his first marriage AND he was married already in the past! The other half obviously came from him being abusive (physically) as well. I've known him since 2015 and since we've been on and off. This last time, I gave him another chance and he PSYCHOLOGICALLY hurt when he insisted I take him to the E. R. (his homeless, drug addicted self, insisted because he thought he felt a lump down there (prostate or testicular cancer), when obviously, he could have just gone to his doctor about it! ALL people, even low income to NO income, have Medi-CAL!), but he still insisted that I take him there. Over there, I saw an early to middle aged, white lady throwing up. It traumatized me so much that I just stayed outside in the benches because I didn't want a chance to catch whatever she might've had, and also to save my eyes from further witnessing distress and pain in people!

... But anyway, my question is, if anyone can help: WHY didn't he improve himself and his life, for me? If I tried to give him another chance and right the wrongs of our first few times getting together, why didn't he take that as a CLUE to improve his life, if he truly loved me?

And why did I develop such a SOULTIE with him, while it's obvious, he didn't really develop that deep of a tie with me? (He ended things soon after. By the way, when we met, he was actually in better shape. He wasn't homeless [he was renting a room], and he had at least something Temporary in terms of a job! Now he was just completely homeless and into drugs including Fentanyl and Meth...

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1 y

... Was I just more sensitive? (An idiot in love?) More desperate for a family and children? And since HE already experienced that in the past, he WASN'T as desperate? Did the DRUGS he was taking jack up his brain THAT much? Last time I saw him, he was sleeping on the floor of a BUS STOP in the middle of the afternoon! That couldn't have been comfortable nor safe and obviously not ideal in terms of privacy. The sad thing was that he used to be a lawyer. Use to actually be SMART, and t

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that is what helped me fall for him! Not just his looks, but his intelligence!
We met when I was 31 and him 40. Now I am 38 and him 47.

[Mollynotgemma]

I believe people end up wanting someone more when they can’t have them. Perhaps it’s a bruising of the ego when a relationship ends and one person doesn’t care as much. It then becomes an obsession trying to understand why they don’t love you as much. And if they did come back to you. I believe it wouldn’t be what you wanted anyway

[Asker]

It wasn't a bruised ego really. I just invested in the WRONG person! For whatever reason, we were not compatible. Okay, maybe I am in denial, but if you see me, I am a BEAUTIFUL lady both inside and out, and he's the one with the problems! He's the one who's ex-wife left him because of his drug and abuse issues, so why in the world would he think that he was better than me? ? ! That's insane.

Read the other stuff I wrote about him (Homeless, mental instability, etc.) and maybe you will understand that it WASN'T me! Also, yeah, it DID hurt in a way because why give his ugly first wife a chance to get married and have babies and not me? ! He was actually a LAWYER in the past, but deteriorated. ... I on the other hand, was a desparate and horny fool 😞.

[Asker]

And I'll have you know that my ex FIANCE proposed to me (at the social services building of all places lol), so it wasn't like I couldn't HAVE him really.

[Sweetsurprize]

Probably from all those DRUGS he was doing. He seemed like a Methhead. Sorry you met such an immature bitch.

[Guy13]

Because he didn't. that happens.

[Asker]

Well then why did he WASTE my time and lead me on into thinking that things would work out? ? ! That's pretty cruel if you asked me.

And with all that said and done, I truly don't believe that there is FATE or "SOUL MATES" because soulmates would NEVER want to hurt me THIS much! I truly thought we were. But at the same time, maybe I knew more about the situation than some strangers on the internet do. He taking drugs and obviously that had an affect on his brain, if not a permanent one. So it's definanately not all me! I didn't do anything to deserve that, what happend I believe, but I did make certain decisions that lead me to experiencing what I had experienced so I have to take responsibility.

[Guy13]

I can’t argue or disagree with a word on your post. He obviously blew up a good thing. Don’t forget all this pain when he eventually pops back into picture.

[Asker]

Thanks for trying to help me. No, I don't think he'll be coming back as he's the one who broke up with me. The first time we truly broke up, he was out of my life for around 4 years, then we met up once (and I confessed my deep feelings for him still, and that was in 2020, but he wasn't having it. Probably because he chose drugs over me!) and that was the second time we went separate ways apart. Last time we saw each other was last July 2022. I was thinking he was also maybe racist? As I am Asian Filipina and he's white/caucasian but I also think, how can that be, when his first marriage was with a Chinese woman back in 2004 and they had a baby in 2007. Crazy. If I already mentioned it, I had the TOUGHEST time accepting that, but since I kept having sex with him and spending time and intimate moments with him, I just fell and fell!

[Asker]

@YeshuaOvercome Shut up asshole! Go away if you have nothing positive to contribute!