Is it okay to have a baby before marriage?

[Anonymous]

Yes its okay

Yes but not ideal

No not okay

[CurrentJohn]

For people who think it is a bad idea in the comments, you know that something called a divorce exists right? You can still have a baby after you married but that doesn`t mean you will stay a happy loving family and that the kid won`t lose one parent through a divorce? Therefore having a child before or after a marriage pretty much doesn`t matter, some people never want to marry but can stay together for a lifetime while others get divorced 3 years later after their marriage. A marriage is not something that holds people together, a kid is a way stronger reason for that and if you decide you can`t stay together even though you have a kid together, a marriage paper sure won`t stop that from happening.

[Miristheiss]

Because so many get pregnant outside of marriage is a partial reason society has many of its issues. So many broken, fatherless homes where the kids can't be controlled and get into gangs, crime, violence, dropping out of school, girls are further promiscuous without a strong father figure. So many abortions.

People want to act like every older tradition is bad because it is old. Well, it worked for 1000s of years. In the last 50 years everyone thinks they have re-invented the wheel and they know how long term relationships, parenting, having strong marriages, promiscuity works best and throw all of it into chaos and call themselves wise.

[desidoll]

While I respect other women’s choice, having babies before marriage is not something I would do or consider. I am married, mom to be in a couple of months. My reason is I don’t want the risk of my guy leaving without being responsible to us. I have seen plenty cases like this around me. I also feel like if he refuses to marry me, he has commitment issue and not ready to be a dad YET.

[HelpfulWoman]

absolutely fine. marriage is an outdated concept that really means fuck all, and if you're with a person who puts the idea on a pedestal, run the fuck away.

[AviatorTom]

I know a couple who had a baby, then got engaged and then got married. That's the reverse of what is considered more normal, but they are very happy together, just celebrated their 10th wedding anniversary; their child is 11.

So, it's okay but not ideal.

[OlderAndWiser]

Is it "okay" in what way? It's not illegal.

[Flatmanlewis]

Yeah. It’s a bad plan. I’ve seen SO MANY people spend the rest of their lives regretting this. Not only is it unfair to the child who deserves some stability but it impacts opportunities in the future. Career, travel, and of course finding someone willing to parent someone else’s child can be demanding. Best to wait until you have the stability of a marriage before deciding to bring someone else’s life & fate into the equation. A marriage generally has a foundation of respect which means you’ll be more likely to raise the child agreeing on parenting strategies and goals.

[ObscuredBeyond]

If you're already pregnant, the baby has the right to live. What may not be okay, is the sexual situation you put yourself in that led to getting pregnant. So yes, if you've already crossed that line, let your children live. But do realize that things will be less ideal because of your particulars. If the child's father steps up, then that's better. The two of you can (hopefully) marry, which will minimize the complications for your child.

[Anonymous]

You dont need to be married. I would say marriage is 10000% over rated. It doesn't even mean what it meant a long time ago when divorce was extremely hard and needed the approval of a priest. But the fundamental dynamic hasn't changed, women should not have a baby with a man who hasn't invested in her emotionally and financially. there's simply too many men out there to have kids with a man because "he's cute and funny". There's cute and funny men who also will invest in you. Never settle.

[Sharkstealth]

It's a no holds barred lifestyle now. Ram a car through a gun store and steal guns if you want. Shit in our rivers and destroy our natural water supply and then complain about global warming. Everybody must get theirs at all times constantly stabbing each other in the back and taking advantage of everything.

Having a baby is probably one of the better lifestyle choices now.

[TonyMetal___86]

Nope not okay, you have to be married in order to have kids, that's my opinion!
Before a sacred marriage you and you're other half are still strangers and haven't been blessed by god yet and do not form a family, also ain't a husband and a wife...

Even sex should come after marriage...

[abbyjgriffin98]

I mean, I wouldn't want that for myself. But I also know that shit happens. It's just not ideal for me. But, if other people choose to do it's fine whether intentionally or unintentionally.

[BCRanger10]

That has "terrible idea" written all over it. A couple should be married first before having sex and bringing children into the world.

[Smashingdoozy]

Of course it's okay. More than okay. A piece of paper and a ceremony doesn't change anything about how stable a relationship is. A baby however, that's changes everything. Arguably more of a commitment

[Anonymous]

As a general rule, this is about the worst decision you could possibly make. There are RARE exceptions where it turns out well and TONS of examples of where it ends in disaster for everyone involved. A decent amount of suffering in life can be completely avoided if you manage NOT to make the dumbest decisions possible. This is very, VERY high on that list.

[LazerBean]

It's ignorant and irresponsible at best, and child abuse in the worst cases.

[EmmaMary]

What complete and utter nonsense. smh

[LazerBean]

Statistics are not nonsense. Smh

[EmmaMary]

@LazerBean

Would you please show me these so called "Statistics"... Thank You.

[AnusNdaPainus]

Wow
I can’t believe i agree with you on this

[Sasha0426]

LMAO 🤣 Then everyone who had kids before marriage should be arrested for child abuse.

[Sasha0426]

I mean, good luck putting half the world in jail.

[AnusNdaPainus]

@EmmaMary how can you say it’s nonsense when you don’t know the numbers?

[Sasha0426]

@AnusNdaPainus Ok, if it was child abuse, then how come no one is in jail for it?

[LazerBean]

Absolutely!

Government research showing that kids from single parents are more likely to be criminals

www.ojp.gov/.../single-parent-families-cause-juvenile-crime-juvenile-crime-opposing

Government study showing the single parent children are more likely to be abused and neglected

www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/foundation_34.pdf

And why are those relevant? Because people who sleep around are less likely to stay in their relationship and therefore are the primary producers of children raised by a single parent, in one way or another:



www.prb.org/.../

(I know the link titles says "staying together longer", but "longer" is 18 months as opposed to 12 months. Which is still really bad.

[LazerBean]

@AnisNdaPainus me neither, since your kind typically disagrees with conservative morals

[LazerBean]

@Sasha0426 I wish everyone who had kids out of wedlock got arrested, it would solve a lot of problems if we started punishing people for screwing up their children.

[Sasha0426]

Then start a petition.

[Sasha0426]

If you want parents arrested for having children before marriage, then do something about it. Start a petition and get the police involved.

[Sasha0426]

If you know some people who had kids out of wedlock, call the cops on them.

[Sasha0426]

Just hope and pray all those children will find good homes and not put in orphanages.

[LazerBean]

Because there are not enough people who accept that sleeping around damages people and their children, therefore it would be a waste of time. Kinda like how you don't date because you know that it would be a hopeless endeavor and a waste of your time.

[Sasha0426]

Yeah, so? Doing something about anyway. If you truly care about this, nothing is stopping you.

[LazerBean]

And I do pray for those kids, and am in a program that helps them and surrounds them with people who actually care about them, unlike their worthless parents. I'd say the two girls we just had that were raped by their druggie mom's uncle would have been better off in an orphanage.

[LazerBean]

Do something about it? Kinda like you're (not) doing something to change the fact that your success rate in relationships is zero? Don't be a laughable hypocrite.

[Sasha0426]

LMAO 🤣 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Oh, my god. That was fucking hilarious. I actually lol’d at that. Wow! Ok, you got me. I’ll admit that I didn’t know you were trolling this whole time. I thought you were dead serious 😂😂😂 Man, this was fun.

[Sasha0426]

I had a good run with this. I don’t know about you 😂

[LazerBean]

Ah, the middle aged cat lady version of "I dont want to play anymore now that I got tagged" 😂😂

That's great though, I'm glad at the very least that you realize you shouldn't be reproducing. I wish more of your equals were aware of that

[Sasha0426]

Oh, shit. I didn’t know you wanted me to agree with you. Was I suppose to?

[Sasha0426]

You’re totally right. I’m a bad person.

[Sasha0426]

If you want, you can wish something bad were happen to me.

[AnusNdaPainus]

@LazerBean
You are on fire

[LazerBean]

That's a silly thing to say considering you already agree with me, and you are already living the live that you deserve.

[Sasha0426]

You’re right, I am. I’m living a happy life and trying to better myself.

[Sasha0426]

I say that’s progress right there.

[AnusNdaPainus]

I’m just saying your opinions on this topic are very on point

Still don’t like you tho
But you are 100% correct this time 🙄

[LazerBean]

Sure 😉

[Sasha0426]

Would you two just fuck already? Jeez, you can cut this sexual tension with a knife.

[LazerBean]

Well you're the one promiscuous girl in this group, so that's up to you

[Sasha0426]

No, the fucking is between you two. Don’t add me to the mix.

[Sasha0426]

If you want a threesome, find someone else.

[LazerBean]

I'm a one man woman, it's up to you hoes who have been around the block like you to any sleeping around that your pervert mind thinks should be done

[Sasha0426]

I may be a pervert, but I ain’t no hoe. Also, you’re not the only one who assumed I’m a hoe 🤣

[LazerBean]

Oh so you're a virgin like I was until I got married?

[Sasha0426]

Sure am.

[LazerBean]

Wow, well congrats on that! There is hope for you yet

[Sasha0426]

But, I’m horny as fuck. I don’t think I can wait until marriage 😂

[love_conquers_lust]

@Sasha0426 @LazerBean I’m the straightest of an arrow as any guy I know. Even I still fuck it up. My list of apologies to girls on here continues to grow. Give me until the end of time, I bet all of you would end up on it at some point.

I think the important thing is waiting until marriage encourages to focus on the person within. It greatly simplifies things eliminating complications with promiscuity. Whatever path you take, it’s about caring about what’s underneath. Promiscuous girls tread on hard mode.

@LazerBean That’s remarkable self control and very attractive. @sasha0426 Having a libidinous sex drive is also very attractive.

[AnusNdaPainus]

@love_conquers_lust kids are like good steak

They are all pink in the middle🍑👈😍

[Sasha0426]

@AnusNdaPainus What the fuck? 😳

[love_conquers_lust]

@AnusNdaPainus No, man. I don’t molest kids.

[Sasha0426]

@love_conquest_lust I’m so glad I’m not the only who picked up o what he was trying to say.

[love_conquers_lust]

@Sasha0426 Yup. And I suggest he do what I’ve done and add another name to his list of apologies.

[LazerBean]

@love_conquers_lust funny you say that, AnusPainus thinks molesting children is no worse than telling a lie

[love_conquers_lust]

@LazerBean The locker room saying goes, when it comes to WOMEN, it’s all pink on the inside. It’s a way of saying dicks tend to be indiscriminate. But there are rules and SERIOUS consequences to breaking them. “Women” in college (18-22) still feel like kids to me. The only people that can touch kids are other kids, even that’s a big iffy.

[love_conquers_lust]

@LazerBean. Kids can hand hold and kiss other kids, the same shit they can do with relatives. That’s about all that parents should approve in my opinion.

[love_conquers_lust]

@LazerBean. I don’t like discussing this shit. It’s cringe.

[LazerBean]

@love_conquers_lust yes it is cringe, but I agree kids who aren't mature enough to marry shouldn't be doing married couple things. Sad that it has to be even said

[love_conquers_lust]

@LazerBean. I have a niece and nephew. So I’m trying to think how I would deal with that when it came up, because I know they would do shit with other kids. Not even kissing, hold hands and hugs. Think I gotta consult my sister on this one, she’s a good parent.

[AnusNdaPainus]

Children are actually very sexual beings
Just like everyone else

[LazerBean]

in my opinion from what I've seen in myself when I was a kid, what I see as someone with teenage siblings and who still has frequent socialization with teenagers, everything major you teach a kid about relationship needs to be done before they start getting into relationships. I see a lot of parents let their 13 year old get into a relationship and then act concerned when their kid gets burned, as if it wasn't both foreseeable and preventable. Then they offer little help other than essentially "better luck next time". Drives me crazy, and I just try to remind myself those aren't my kids.

[love_conquers_lust]

@AnusNdaPainus Fair warning if you didn’t already know, child molesters are considered the lowest of the low in prisons. Amongst rapist, murderers, and thieves, they spit on them and make their lives hell. Guards look the other way when their teeth get knocked out of their heads.

Children don’t know any better. Offenders shouldn’t be surprised when their faces get beat in with a bat by a beleaguered relative.

[love_conquers_lust]

@LazerBean. For my nephew at least, I know he’s probably going to get chased. I didn’t really get explicit instruction as a kid, Church kind of laid the groundwork for what was allowed.

When I was in elementary school, relationships typically didn’t last more than a week. It was like, pass a note and go out on Monday, kiss once on Wednesday, break up on Friday to free up the weekend.

[AnusNdaPainus]

@love_conquers_lust
are you familiar with the term sexual im printing

Also if this is rock paper scissors then attorneys beat prison

[LazerBean]

@love_conquers_lust yeah, that's seems to be the norm these days. It's a shame more parents don't seem to care more

[love_conquers_lust]

@LazerBean. I wouldn’t necessarily say that. My parents chose our schools, led by example, got some education in school. Really, my parents leading by example had the largest impact. They did something right. Don’t lose heart.

[love_conquers_lust]

@AnusNdaPainus Are you familiar with blowjob gums? No attorney needed when the molesters get attacked by the victim’s relatives. That relative will probably proudly plead guilty.

[AnusNdaPainus]

@love_conquers_lust
that’s what protection programs are for I’ll just have to move to another city

It’s like a vacation

Besides it’s not molestation if the child wants it also

[love_conquers_lust]

@AnusNdaPainus Registering as a sex offender follows you for life. It’s illegal for adults to molest minors, independent of the child’s desires. It criminalizes the adult, not the minors.

[AnusNdaPainus]

@love_conquers_lust besides all of this only applies to child molesters who go after little girls

No one cares about little boys

[love_conquers_lust]

@AnusNdaPainus Women can chime in on that one. It’s still illegal.

But I’m totally about inequality on that front. It should be inverted. I don’t want to read about criminal men molesting children, the least of the evils is criminal women molesting boys. <-that was an inappropriate joke

[AnusNdaPainus]

@love_conquers_lust LMFAOAOAOAO

[love_conquers_lust]

@AnusNdaPainus Simmer down. Those boys still going to have to have their minds unfucked by what they experienced. Ideally, it all ceases to exist.

[AnusNdaPainus]

@love_conquers_lust it won’t tho

[love_conquers_lust]

@AnusNdaPainus Never say never.

[AnusNdaPainus]

@love_conquers_lust
Don’t get your hopes up.

[love_conquers_lust]

@AnusNdaPainus Hope is what life is about. Maybe if whiney men on here would step outside and properly court, those women wouldn’t consider molesting boys.

[AnusNdaPainus]

@love_conquers_lust did you seriously just blame men for female predators molesting little boys

Ok so nothing is ever a woman’s fault?

[love_conquers_lust]

@AnusNdaPainus Did you seriously just whine some more? When did I EVER make the implication that criminal women don’t have a share in the blame for THEIR actions?

Too many guys on here want to victimize themselves. This Chad thundercock, Red Pill crap is the outcry of a bunch of lazy dudes who don’t want to work up the spine to UNREQUITEDLY say “hi” to girls. You know that shit was propagated in the gay community, don’t you? They use that shit so they can swap partners like peace pipes. Then, they got the bright idea to teach sexually frustrated heterosexual men how to use that on women. It’s a win-win for them. Heterosexual couples either get toxically satisfying sex or it also blows up relationships if couples don’t have a strong foundation, putting more guys and girls on the market to prey on financially or sexually. They CHARGE for it. Plague profiteering spreads in many ways, indeed.

Listening to guys on here put this “Chad” up on a pedestal assuming he’s just plowing through girls indiscriminately is revealing. It’s a possibility at best, an it assuredly won’t help you or other guys in any event if they sit on the sidelines crying about it. I think some of them WANT attention from Chads. I think it’s their figurative way of sticking their asses in the air and saying, “take me with your giant thundercock, Chad.”

March your ass into a gay bar and watch toxic guys hit on you. You’ll learn.

Why did I go off on the tangent? Because your reply history reeks of the subject. You claim to be Christian, but your words do not reflect scripture. Wolf in sheep’s clothing.

[EmyyWolf]

Well marriage is costly and a baby is costly. I think BOTH are a bad idea.

Unless you are rich and have wealth passed down to you 🫵 from the elders

[Lara_Croft]

A baby needs a present mother and father- you would do well to raise a baby within a God-led marriage as obviously you can see that's not the norm

[noemiii]

What does marriage even mean? It’s just a law binding documentation. Of course you don’t have to be married. And just because you are married doesn’t mean the family will last.

[TiffanyLee]

Yes, but only if BOTH of you are physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially stable enough. Children are not accessories or toys, nor are they your love experiment, they are people with needs. They are your responsibility.

[Anonymous]

no. simply because i think that is a setup for failure. this is just my opinion of course, don't take it personally. but usually this couple will end up never marrying. or have a pity marriage simply because a kid is involved.

[BadApple69]

Babies are a gift from God. I would never wait for a piece of paper before accepting such a beautiful gift.

[HippoDino]

Its okay if both people are actually ready for it and ready to commit. The extra assurance of being married is always nice.

[Lliam]

Sure, if you are prepared to raise it alone without assistance and without putting some poor guy on the hook for child support.