Is a dead-end marriage where both argue frequently and are miserable.. is that just as bad as divorce?

[Anonymous]

Is a dead-end marriage where both argue frequently (yelling matches and insults), are miserable and they haven't even been intimate for years but live as roommates just as bad as divorce? Then that very same couple posts happy pictures on FB on Valentine's Day, Christmas, etc, about having the happiest moment and even they appear hugging each other but it's all a show. Isn't that just as bad as divorce?

Obviously if it gets to the point of insults, neither boundaries nor respect has been established.

[Hellraiser1984]

Yes. My parents are like that. 42 years together and can't stand each other anymore. He calls her a stupid bi*** if she doesn't understand something. He lies to her all the time. He puts her down a ton too. He told me once that the only reason he stayed with my mom was so that I wouldn't grow up without a father. He's a really crappy father he treats me worse than he treats her. He punches me but won't punch her or my sister. He did hit me with a baseball bat once and broke my foot. My mom stepped in and he hit her with the bat. He's a horrible human being. The marriage is over move on.

[Entertained_Adult]

he is retarded and no amount of sex would fix that (half the people think that such failed marriages are caused by too little fucking).

[RingOfFire]

I'm not sure if that's the case. A lot of couples just like to argue.

Women especially like to argue. A lot of them love drama.

I've known couples that have been together forever and they are arguing constantly. I think what happens is it's the woman who likes to argue all the time and the men go along with it because they love them and they tolerate it.

But no question I think that some couples just see arguing as part of the relationship and it isn't necessarily something that's doomed. They get so used to it that it just becomes normal for them.

[Entertained_Adult]

Spade is a spade. People who like to argue are retarded. Doesn't matter how many people do it, unhealthy ideas get normalized all the time.

[bunny_luv]

if you can't maintain a friendship as the foundation for having a future together then it doesn't sound like it going to work out. why stay unhappy instead of being honest with each other and most importantly with yourself.

[Ferngully2000]

I’d say it’s worst than divorce! Why bother putting yourself through that daily, once divorce is done, you can move on eventually..

[Asker]

Indeed. No one deserves that type of misery.

[exitseven]

My parents were like that. They stayed together for the sake of me and my brother. They really did us no favors, Thy got divorced when I was in high school.

[Asker]

Exactly. They are giving a bad example for the kids.

[Joshydavid25]

Nah, because they can still work hard to work it out.. It's not final.. While working it put is easier said than done, it's still possible.. Both can mess up the couple's lives, but Divorce is basically life altering..

[serious]

Rather than living in such a marriage. Divorce is much better or best don't get married in the first place.

[BaronVonBarron]

In most relationships people argue a lot. Not a reason to divorce yet. Good reason to have deep conversations and negotiations.

[Asker]

I don't think people that are very compatible argue as much. This probably happens when they get married during the infatuation period when you feel the highs and don't know the person very well.

[AndrésC64]

It's much worse than a divorce. With a divorce you can simply cut it off and walk away.

[Jupiter1]

If all efforts have failed and the arguments just keep on continuing, then that's definitely living miserably. Divorce is probably better for both.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Compatible people don't argue.

[Asker]

This exactly. I think several people marry for the sake of passion and being in love without even seeing if they're even compatible on important areas.

[TheSpaceGnome]

To me passion and love require compatibility.

[Asker]

yeah and those people don't seek compatibility. They just get married during the infatuation period when you see your partner as perfect and are feeling like you're in the clouds but don't know the person very well.

[slatyb]

No, it's worse than divorce by far.

[Staximus]

It's worse