My Perfect Valentine's Day Gift

[takenchic]

My boyfriend asked me what I wanted for Valentines Day and it got me thinking. The answer he is looking for is, most likely, "Nothing, you have given me everything a girl could want." As you can imagine, that is not what he is going to hear!

Flowers, chocolates, candles, teddy bears, jewelry and a romantic dinner at my favorite restaurant are all on my wish list but not at the top. These are easy crowd pleasers but quite generic. A token of his love is what I am really hoping to receive. Something heartfelt, sincere and something which requires thought. Giving me a Valentines Day gift that takes the effort of walking down the seasonal aisle at Walgreens is not exactly what I have in mind.

Will I tell him this? No. When he asks what I want, will I give him explicit instructions and details? Never.Why? Because I want HIM to want to spend the time, devote the thought and take the initiative to find and buy the perfect gift. The present that proves his love, shows how well he knows me and how much he cares.

My boyfriend often complains about the amount of money he spent on me during Christmas and New Years and uses this as justification to skimp on Valentines Day. My reaction to this strategy is to throw a temper tantrum, the likes of which you normally see from a five year old, and demand that he not only purchase a gift that expresses his love but also a second gift expressing a sorrowful apology for making such dreadful comments.

The irony is, and I will deny it if anyone should ever ask, I do not care what kind of present he buys me. He need not spend a dime on lacy lingerie, sweet milk chocolate hearts, sparkling jewelry or luxurious lotions. What I really want is a hug. A kiss. A whisper of love, lust or even support. I want to feel cherished, adored or at least heard! If he could simply understand how hungry I am for his affection then he would know how easy it is to please me.

Instead, I will say, I don't know, whatever you think is special when he asks me again what I want for Valentines Day. I will silently crave the things that money cannot buy while he huffs and puffs his way through stores purchasing the gifts money can buy. He will feel proud and act pompous as he hands me various goodies and I will smile at his efforts and thank him yet all the while wishing he'd saved his money and given me something from the heart, not Wal-Mart.

I write this knowing that my boyfriend will never see or read it so its' publication does not threaten my desire for him to figure it out himself. But I do understand how unfair it may seem to men since they may very well not understand out of ignorance rather than intent. So I write this in the hopes that others will read it and couple their chocolate candies with a hand-written poem for the women they love.

[1derweye]

Well put, Taken'! This is perhaps one of the most succinct, to the point and considerate elucidations for what I'm sorry so many of my gender isn't Cognizant of. Since youth I've believed in this very "paradigm" of making a shared event with close friend... personally unique. My Mom encouraged me to be creative and resourceful. My Dad's Love Her encouraged me to look within my companion's words & actions, to catch glimpses of her point of view. You present your perspective in an eloquent simplicity. I think some Guys get confused because they assume such a complexity exists, there's no hope for understanding. So it's business-as-usual.
I gotta say, the reactions of the Loves I've been lucky enough to embrace, have reinforced this simple wisdom of caring about how you express your feelings.
Guys, it is not a chore! It is an opportunity to Rock Her World!
No one walks away from THAT disappointed... If you can still walk!

[jextaimex]

I love this. Its exactly how I feel. I've never had a boyfriend that I've had to worry about this with, but... I can still relate. Its like with a lot of things.. my birthday, Christmas, and when I have an anniversary in the future... I don't need anything extravagant. I don't want it to be blown off either, though. Just because I don't want something doesn't mean its not important. I want something meaningful, no matter the cost.

[randomguy949]

Wow this is a great article. I think buying stuff is cheesy and is a lazy solution. It's so much more special when the card is hand made and the whole day doesn't revolve around buying generic stuff. Some home baked goodies would make me feel so much more special than purchased goodies. Companies like hallmark just want you to spend the most money possible but It just distracts you front he whole point of the day. It's funny how spending less money can make for a much better day.

[Kayne]

I've always combined the two. I get chocolates and flowers, but I always try to do SOMETHING clever. I am really clever at some things. A girl I dated loved gameshows with a passion. For valentines day I made a Deal or No deal type of game that my friends helped me out with. We had 12 cards flipped over with an activity, she got ONE. She kept pulling until she picked. like - Dinner, walk in the park, amusement park. etc

[anon8]

Argh, you should just tell him...

[ColdHeartCries]

Handwritten notes are the best