My boyfriend gave me ring that is second hand and the stones are not real - am I not worth a nice real ring?

[evagirl]

My boyfriend is a GOOD MAN - for sure - he is a simple man - he gave me this ring for my birthday and at first I felt special that he gave me it - but then I looked properly and realized the stones were not real - just dull looking - I never wore it because I like things of quality - and just the knowing its not real - I just kind of feel embarrassed to wear it - it looks fake. The ring itself is gold and that is real. So I asked him where did he get it from as I could see it was second hand, he said he 'found' it on the ground one day when he was walking across the park - I felt a bit upset that he gave me a 'found' ring...?he asked why don't I wear the ring - this is now a full year later - and I told him because the stones are not real and I don't mean to be ungrateful but that I like real things and its sweet he gave me the ring - but that I don't like to wear it. He was upset and said I shouldn't be so shallow and materialistic - and I got upset and said I like things of quality and that's just the way I am - and AM I not worth it to give a real ring - that is new from the shop? He got more angry and I gave him back the ring and told him in future - IF he chooses to get me something that 'looks' real - make sure it IS real and not cheap imitation, I explained that the wooden beaded jewelery he gave me means SO much more to me because it was new is beautiful and is REAL - he doesn't understand what I'm saying - and I don't understand him either - so now we have called a break and I haven't spoken to him in days. What do you think?

[maternallove]

Well, I think you should be THANKFUL for anything you get! I come from a very wealthy family and always had good quality things so when I got with my fiance I always made it clear to him that I don't want anything expensive from him, I could get that anywhere. I just wanted something from the heart something that has meaning. So for holidays and birthdays he makes me things like really cool jewelry from bead shops or has a dress made for me with my fav colors or cool patterns. Well after 2 years he asked me my ring size. I already knew why he was asking ;) Sooo I told him and then made it clear again that I just want something simple, a band or something small. Well he proposed to me and the diamond on my finger is huge and beautiful. People ask if I'm signaling ships with this rock! I told him he didn't have to go all out like that he said he knows but he wanted to get me the best ring possible. I love it and honestly wouldve even loved a ring he found on the ground or in a cracker jack box! As long as your boyfriend gave it to you with good intentions and it was from the heart, who cares the quality or where he got it. Its not like he was making a joke about it and thought "ha ha I'm gonna give her this raggedy a** ring and laugh about it when she wears it" So I think you should wear it and maybe one day he'll get you a better more expensive one =)

[Anonymous]

That seems like a silly thing to break up over, but if it caused you that much conflict, maybe that's the best solution. I can understand you being upset that he gave you something he found randomly for your birthday, that is a little cheap, but I wouldn't be so upset about the stones being fake. I think he should have understood why you didn't appreciate a gift he found on the ground.

[evagirl]

Thanks

[SuttonHoward58]

It really does not mean if the ring is second or third, its all about your feelings on that ring what you are giving to your partner.
Source:

[ManAmongBoys]

I'm with him - you knew he was a "simple man". Obviously, your values are different. If I were him, I'd take this as a huge red flag and end the relationship. Obviously, to you, the thought DOESN'T count. Hopefully, you can find someone more in line with your values; him as well.

[evagirl]

The thought DOES count - but! - if it 'looks' gold and 'looks' like jewels - I just would prefer that they were real - or - not get anything at all - but your right - we have different values I guess - while he sits there quarrelling about me not liking the fakeness of the ring with his 100% gold chain - medallion bracelet and two rings on

[ManAmongBoys]

OK... well, that last part was pretty integral to the story and completely changes my opinion. You said he was a "simple man". I assumed that he wasn't materialistic and that he believed more in thought than product. However, if he's decked out in jewelry himself, that's not the case (nor would I call him a "simple man"). Now he just comes off like an ass.

[Lookingfortruth]

Girl I’m with you!!
He gave you that ring with false pretenses. I bet if you never ask he would have never told. It was deceiving and cheap. A real eye opener of what your future could have been. If a a man REALLY knows you, then he should know you are a woman of quality. It’s romantic to give a woman jewelry. Does a man send a woman fake flowers? NO!!!

[Mickdodge]

I would dump you over this. Tell you to get out