Why did he change his mind about his Christmas gift?

Question

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a little shy of 4 months. Things are going great right now. I’ve been thinking about buying him a small gift for Christmas but i didn’t know if it was too soon or not.

So i texted him and asked him last Tuesday what did he want for Christmas. He texted back and sent me a picture of these $200 dollar pair of shoes. And said we can go half on them … i want them” so i agreed. He told me the shoes come out December 11th and he wears a 9.5. So i said okay. Then i said you know what they say about women buying men shoes and he said “I’m not leaving you”

Today ( a week later) he texted me and said i want these shirts for Christmas. He sent two pictures of these $15 dollar shirts. So i said i don’t think I’ll have enough to go half on your shoes and the shirts… i have bills still plus others to buy gifts for. And he said i don’t want the shoes anymore just the shirts.

TL:DR; what made him change his mind about the gifts. Was it what i had said

Aethereal · Accepted Answer

My guess is that he was talking to someone (friends, or family), and they told him that it's a tad greedy to be asking the girl he's been dating for less than 6 months to buy him a $100 gift for Christmas. I know people who would have told me this if I had done it.

He's probably following advice and trying not to be too demanding when it comes to gifts, at least for now.

Of course a more pessimistic possibility is that he is worried he will be obligated to get you an expensive gift too, if he lets you get him the shoes. By changing his mind, he can now get you a cheap gift without feeling bad, or worrying about meeting expectations he may be unable to meet.

Diodoro · Accepted Answer

Don't read too deep

Classic situation of difference between how guys think vs. How girls think

Guys tend to think in terms of X caused Y

For example, I was late (X) because traffic was bad (Y)

Girls tend to think in terms of X MEANS something

For example, if you cared you would have been on time. Or being late MEANS you don't care

That's a very different thought process that you need to take to heart and understand. Guys don't think in terms of everything having meaning.

He wants the shoes. He wants the shirt. You said you can't do both so he chose which he most wanted. That's it

Screenwriter · Accepted Answer

Seems he thought $100 was a lot for a 4-month girlfriend and I agree. He thought it over and changed his mind. $100 is a lot for a 20 year FRIEND!! ahahahahahaha!

Paris13 · Accepted Answer

Trying to Save you Money, Honey. Cheaper for the Shirts. Now, You Give Him your List. xx

Ghostlock · Answer

I think you think to much about these dudes honestly. People come and go from your life. Enjoy them while you have them, don't worry about if it lasts. If it lasts, great, if not, simply move on to the next guy. Over time you will learn (hopefully) that you simply cannot predict what people are going to do or how they are going to behave in a relationship. Enjoy them while you have them, but realize that if things go south, there are millions of other people out there who are looking for a woman just like you. ;)

The_Maphio · Answer

He possibly understood that he was asking too much of you and adjusted his aim on something way more affordable. Especially since you barely know each other (come on, not even 4 months is too little time) and asking you for a 100$ expense out of the blue sounds VEEEERY bad.

Anon621 · Answer

I think you should ask him because I honestly can't say why he changed his mind. Maybe it's because he expects you to get him everything he wants, maybe it's because he genuinely changed his mind and doesn't want the shoes anymore because he felt bad about you spending so much money on him

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

It sounds to me like he expected you to buy everything he wanted. Only when you told him you couldn't afford it all, did he suddenly decide what he wanted most.
Also, the way you made it sound (just by reading your question) there was no please,, thank you, no pleasantries.. It almost sounds dare I say it 'cold' and not how you would expect a boyfriend of only 4 months to behave.

Massageman · Answer

A shirt in the hand is worth two shoes in the bush. Hopefully, he is leaning to be considerate of your $ circumstances. in my opinion, a $200 pair of shoes after 4 months is too much to request, and too much to consider giving.
A shirt is the better choice here. Just return the shoes if you already bought them.

pfeffkln · Answer

I wouldn't overthink it. There's lots of positive possibilities. Perhaps he really just wanted the shirt? Or maybe he didn't really want the shoes that much, or he didn't want to pay half? Or better yet, maybe he didn't want you to spend that much on him yet, knowing you don't have enough.

Is he buying you a gift? Has he mentioned it at all? I would be very reassured if he has.

Cherry234 · Answer

Perhaps he doesn't want to force you to spend so much money on him. He's happy with you getting him a present but he's not making you spend all that money

SweetDumplings · Answer

He definitely doesn't want to burden you with too many gifts for him so he'll want the shirts instead and that's reasonable.

FreyaRed · Answer

Maybe you should buy him a Playmobile set in Toys'r'us. I'm sure he will change his mind at least five times until Christmas. 🤣

Chris_u006 · Answer

Could be just because he decided to buy the shoes for himself because he wants to be reasonable.

kellytheman · Answer

I don't think so maybe the shoes was a little much cost or too expensive it was too early to buy a expensive gift like that even though to go half. Also maybe he also couldn't afford to pay his half. Also maybe your shoe joke didn't help.

Pete671 · Answer

Perhaps $200 is not a great amount for him?, and it is for you?, I'd ask him which of the two shirts he prefers, and buy him that one only, or buy him a surprise joke present like panties or a packet of nappies haha

serious · Answer

Yes I think he changed his mind because of what you said.

loves2learn · Answer

Sounds like he can be a bit wishy washy on decisions. Sometimes people change their minds.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

He may have realized that it is a bit much to ask of you because of your financial circumstances.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

I guess you'll have to ask HIM. Maybe he didn't feel right having you buy him such an insanely expensive gift. $200 for shoes? REALLY?

Kabluie · Answer

Could be your reaction to the shoes.  I love having lots of shoes, I wear 9.5M as well, sometimes 10.

princeofromance · Answer

That is a big step forward in a relationship. He is afraid of moving to the next step. However, I am no expert on this particular subject; considering I give gifts to women all the time.

exitseven · Answer

He feels bad for maybe making you spend more than you intended.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

He wants to be reasonable with you and seem to be the kind of guy who is after a woman's money

LivingExample · Answer

You brought to his attention you have bills and other gifts to buy and it sounds like he was trying to cut the cost down for you!

msc545 · Answer

ask him about this. It's hard to know what his motivation was.

LegendaryIcon · Answer

the last i heard, you two broke up. why are you doing this?

Papabubbles · Answer

If it was me I would feel bad asking for 100 after only dating for a couple months.

Anonymous · Answer

Maby he realized they were made from child labor and didn't want them 😂

spartan55 · Answer

No, it had nothing to do with you.

Andres77 · Answer

What kind of job does he have?

Somoneelse · Answer

didn't you recently broke up with him?

JosyJosy · Answer

cause of the price probably

Iron_Man · Answer

Make sure he sent you a gift

G5TWA1 · Answer

that's weird, he seems impulsive

Relux47 · Answer

Maybe he didn’t want the shoes anymore

Why did he change his mind about his Christmas gift?

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