One of the many tiny things that I love is getting inspiration as to what to write about!
Let me begin by giving you a background story of what inspired this rant *ahem* myTake.
I am on a website called meetup. I was at work and at lunch break. I was looking through my phone and noticed that I got a message from the meetup app! I clicked on it and oh my gosh, the dude looked like he should be in Bold and the Beautiful. I was excited so I decided to chat to him. He called me after work and I genuinely thought he was awesome! I mean come on! A guy who I would pay to talk to me is talking to me for free!
So later on, I wanted to take a break from technology and actually have some time without my phone. I offered to see him on Sunday and I was under the impression that he agreed. I told him that I am going to close my phone and he agreed. I closed my phone and when I opened it the next day, to my utmost horror, I received 26 messages. TWENTY-SIX MESSAGES! One of them asking if we could catch up Saturday, I politely said that I already had plans with some girlfriends. This is his next message.
"Oh, so you're going to see othere guys you mean"
After day one, he is about to meet queen super bitch. I put my foot down.
I wrote him this message:
Dean, let me give you a quick warning. Please do not mistake my kindness for weakness. I do not appreciate you questioning me therefore, if you are wanting to be in my good books then you must follow the following rules. You will NOT ever be rude to me. You will NOT question me and you WILL continue to mind your own business. You are not my employer, father or boyfriend/husband therefore you are NOT entitled to any explanation.
He didn't like my attitude.
So ladies and gentlemen, I will be writing a take explaining why you shouldn't let anyone push you around, how to stop them in a firm but polite manner (but knowing when to give a good whoop arse).
Now, I have the reputation of super bitch here. I wasn't always like this. I was the biggest push-over you have ever seen.
Yes, yes I was. I was what you would call, a "yes" woman. I like spoiling people and people took advantage of that. When you are young, you are extremely vulnerable and you do want people to like you and think of you highly. I get that. That was my dream too! I just developed a backbone a few years ago. So without further ado, here is my guide to not let anyone push you around.
1) Practice saying no
I am not saying you should be a grumpy biddy, no don't be like that. Give some people your time and energy but when you don't feel up to it, it is DEFINITELY ok to say no. Life is extremely long and your goal is to not cause burnout upon yourself. Look at websites like this to get you started.
2) Yes, you will lose "friends"
And why in the world would you like friends to burn you out? Let me tell you a story. I am an only child and I did struggle to make friends when I was younger. I had an older friend and I was sooo excited that she agreed to be my friend. She was pretty and popular. The "in-crowd" type. We went shopping together and the bitch made me carry her shopping bags. Yes, she did. If she asked me now, I would be like this.
"Bitch, carry your own damn bags" and say it with a jokey laughter and walk.
3) Be around sassy people
Learn their tricks. Learn how to throw shade and cut someone down when they need it. ONLY when they need it. Another example, I was at church a couple of months ago and this girl comes up to me, silently put a "welcome" sign around my neck and said "Gee, this looks amazing on you. Noora can you please be on welcoming today?". No. I smiled, took it off and said this "Oh it looks better on you, Katrina. And no. Sorry". That's it! I didn't feel I had to offer her an explanation. Which leads to my next point.
4) You are your own person
You are not owned by ANYONE. You have a life of your own and you are created with free-will. Exert your human right. If you don't have an explanation regarding your actions, don't explain then! You don't have to. Just say "no" and smile. Like this guy.
5) It will feel shit at first
Yes, you will be met with an unbelievable sense of guilt. Ignore it. You will be miserable if you go ahead with it anyway (plus exhausted). So, it's best to feel guilty. That feeling will go soon.
So there you have it. Hopefully this helps you in life :).
Ciao! And keep saying no- but only when you want to!