There are 2 major forces: One force claims, that having tons of money brings happiness in life and the other force claims, that having tons of money does not bring happiness in life.
I used to be in the first one. I really believed, that having tons of money equals to happiness in life.
That was most likely associated with the fact, that my backgrounds were poor and I have lived in a poor family in poverty for a half of my childhood life long. I was starving, freezing on winters, roasted on summers, I was rarely acutely sick but I was and still am chronically sick, used to cough very often on a daily basis (Don't ask me why or how. Health works in a very complex way) and I have to clean my nose multiple times per day from slime or else I cannot breathe.
Since I grew up poorly and never had any money and jobs weren't available for me I had no choice but to endure it. As you can imagine any student going through this wants to eat, drink clean water (not from the faucet!), sleep and make some money for some nice things and live in warmth during the chilling winters and swim in pools during hot summers. All this would have been possible if I only had enough of that green paper.
I couldn't even afford to brush my teeth with toothpaste! That was how poor I was so you can get an idea.
So I got the impression, that in order to get these things I need to make and have money to buy these things and these things would make me happier. I mean who else likes the idea of not having to worry about what to eat in the next day? You just go somewhere to eat or in a grocery store and pay for your food and enjoy. And if you get hungry again you can just repeat it.
By that time I could not even imagine how people, who said "Money does not make happy." were actually meaning this. Even my teacher, who said so in our last day in high school was explaining how the future will change our opinion regarding what makes someone happy once we get enough money. She explained, that we will get used to these standards of living and will seek something else to focus on in our lives. The worries about "what to eat tomorrow?" will shift to something like "what do I want now?".
And she was right.
I am asking myself this exact question every now and then.
All I cared about is making enough money so that I don't have to starve and stink from my mouth any more at any time and not to freeze during winters and not to fry during summers. My physiological and safety basic human needs are now met now that I am employed for quite some time and make enough money for my own and independent living (refer to maslows pyramid of basic human needs below).
In no way am I saying, that it was easy. It never was. But it's not completely impossible either.
I have enough survival skills to live on my own and I make enough money, so that I don't have to worry about poverty and it's consequences any more. I just really wish I had these needs met when I was still in school but it was out of my control anyway.
Anyway now that my money problem is more-or-less solved for me I am sitting here on my desktop almost every evening, my head placed on my hands, my arms being supported by my table (my arms are placed in a vertically reversed V shape on the table) and I am here thinking "Well? Now what?".
It's not exactly like my journey has ended here but the most critical part has been taken care of.
I feel like something else is missing but I cannot accurately figure out what exactly it could be.
For one my long term goal is a complete relocation on my own since I have devoted myself for It since when I was a teenager. This goal has since then not changed (and never will).
This came with some sacrifices such as I could never get any girlfriend, love or sex. Regarding this specific issue I am not sure whether I am even attractive or not but I do have enough confidence in myself.
I have a bit of leftover money now (thanks to my financial planning skills). And yet I am not happy. I have some of the things, that I really wished for, felt happy when I got them but eventually my focus has shifted. I mean those things are really nice to have and I appreciate those quite often and never take them for granted.
And no, I don't have something grandiose like a car or a drivers license or my own property. What I'm saying is, that I have reached a threshold of a minimum acceptable way of the core definition of merely living instead of surviving.
In the end of the day I am still not happy while having the much needed peace from tight financial problems.
Anyway this is how i see it happening and unfolding. I can understand when somebody gets their happiness out of getting money. It just doesn't work on me anymore.
Money may not buy me happiness, but I would much rather cry in my Mercedes than on the bus.
Thanks for reading.
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