Reasons Why Men Do NOT Date Single Moms?

[Anonymous]

Women always get offended when I explain why I wouldn't date a single mom (I am 25, btw)... especially a single mom between the ages of 19-25. Instead of telling you why I have issues with single moms... I will just show you. Here is a text message from a single mom I was recently talking to (didn't know she was one until the last minute):

Me: What happened to your daughter's dad?

Her: We weren't good for one another. He didn't treat me right and I stopped trusting him after a while because he became very dishonest and started cheating. I just felt like he didn't appreciate me.

Me: If you had so many problems with him... where did your daughter come into play?

Her: I didn't know he was a cheater until after my daughter was born. I felt like I ignored a lot of red flags during our relationship because our sex life covered a lot of our issues.

Conclusion:

THIS IS WHY I do not date single moms. They know the relationship is shit anyway, but they still have a baby with the guy and then start wondering why they are single and why men don't want them.

Since finding out she is a single mom, I'm not talking to her anymore. I don't have time for it.

Updates

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[kbbroiler]

Bravo! Good for you for having standards. Most guys don't have standards or rules for themselves. I'm 48, never married and never had kids and I wouldn't date a single mom. Here is what you have to keep in mind why women get so offended when men don't want to date them. It has to do with their hypergamous dating strategy. They want to believe they are as good as women without kid/kids. Here is the thing. Kids are expensive that's one. Now the laws are written in such as a way that if you date a single mom and then say if she has to apply for child support. You could be still involved with her or not but because you have bonded with the child the state will deem you as the father. It's all in this best interest of the child BS. They never say clearly what it means fully. So say the biological father was a deadbeat or she might not know who the father is after her 20th Maury show appearance it will be the guy who bonded with the kid/kids will have to pay child support so it is never a good idea at all to date single moms. Trust me stay away from them. I used to listen to the Tom Leykis show years ago when he was still on the radio and he used to say this on the air. Then he posted a story that happened in the state of Washington of a guy who wasn't the biological father and had to pay. I live in Canada and checked the laws up here and it was written the same as in Washington. Right then and there I never dated another single mom again and that was back in 2004.

[Mesonfielde]

I've said this before, but dating a single mom long-term is not only a relationship but also adoption.

[RationalMale]

best. answer.

[dudeman]

an unfair adoption because the women you're raising the kid with doesn't have to take on the same responsibility.

[Asker]

Exactly. You get it

[Sarahplus2]

Requires a lot of maturity and not an easy relationship.

[carly21]

no not all single mum are like im a single mum and i left my parnter coz when i was pregnant he kicked punched knock me out and when i give birth to my son seconds after he hit me so hard in the leg it hurt more then giving birth and the nurse herd in the next room the nurse called the police and soical worker said him or baby one look at my baby boy i knew he was my life and soul i left him his 2 now i have been single for 2years i have not meet knowone and i have not been dating coz i wanted to foucs on my boy but when im ready i will date not sleep around coz i have respect but i date and take things slow soo u see there's no need for being so rude

[carly21]

i didn't leave coz he didn't treat me right i come from an old fashioned family you have one man and only one and you stay with him no matter what the saying is (you made your bed and you lie in it) but i left for my son and im never going back i only had one man my whole life im not a whore but a single mum and any boy do go with should know i come with him or not at all

[Stacyzee]

You are a very judgmental person.

Of course it's easy for you to judge but you've never been in that situation.
As someone that's been exposed to a various amount of people, I can stand before you and say, you can know someone for 10 years and STILL not truly know them.
Some people are good at hiding skeletons in their closet.
You shouldn't judge someone based on the fact that they found their relationship wasn't ideal for them.

[Stacyzee]

You're entitled to have a preference but not to ignorantly judge other peoples situations.

[Asker]

Awesome.

[Asker]

Honestly. I don't give a fuck. Women make stupid decisions daily and then get pissed when you call them out on it.

[Stacyzee]

She isn't missing a thing. You are in the same field as the father of her child apparently. You did her a favor!!!

[Asker]

nice

[Stacyzee]

There's nothing stupid about having a child. Children are a blessing. I'd only consider her choices "stupid" if she knew he was cheating, continued to stay with him and had even more kids by him. She deserves to be single (for now) and pursue a life with a man who is mature enough to not be judgmental.

[Asker]

you're right. there is nothing stupid about having a child.

[Asker]

Are you a single mom

[Stacyzee]

No, but as a young Mom (pregnant at 22) I know what it feels like to be judged by those who don't even know a small fragment of your life.

[Asker]

having a kid is a choice

[Stacyzee]

So is being a judgmental person.

[Asker]

And so having a kid

[Stacyzee]

I've never been one to judge others. You know, what is an admirable trait to me is someone who probably wasn't ready to have a kid and stood up to the plate to be the best parent they can be financial wise and mentally. That shows a personality trait that is strong, determined, ambitious and mature. If I were a woman without a child, of course I wouldn't want to date a man with a whole bunch of children. People usually want those at the same point as they are. I'd be able to look past if they had one kid however. I wouldn't judge them. Each situation is unique to its own. You can't judge all single Moms.

[Stacyzee]

Your behavior is showing a lack of maturity. I don't know much about this girl, but I can already say she seems more mature than you

[Asker]

sounds good. lol

[dudeman]

you just judged him.

[Stacyzee]

@dudeman I've seen you here for years and you are infamous for your dick head responses to people. So I will take what you said with a grain of salt.

[dudeman]

you did judge him. thats not my opinion thats what you did.

[Stacyzee]

@dudeman In all fairness, judgment is a part of life. We have to make judgments about every thing we encounter in order to survive in our every day environment. My problem isn't with judgment per say, but the negativity that is attached to it

I will no longer respond to you because I know your responses, you are the biggest troll on here of all time. Adios.

[dudeman]

i realize thats why i find it funny when people call people judgmental. it doesn't mean anything

[dudeman]

yes typical women. they do not like just criticism because nothing is their fault

[Imready]

I give you respect in the upmost for not fucking and for getting her. im a single mom im not offended and as a Matter of fact i won't date again for the very reason you stated i dont understand past behaviors i have had and untel i do i won't drag my kids or any poor sucker into the Quick sand that is me.

[RetroDreamerXD]

It could be a hassle. Because there's baggage. Like not only do you have to work a relationship with the woman but also with the child. And who's to say one day the baby daddy might show up. That's drama not needed. I'm not knocking single moms or anything, I'm just saying there's risks.

[Asker]

I'm also trying to get at the root of my reason. If you read the text messages I wrote about... doesn't that woman seem irresponsible to you? i mean... I hear that story all the time with young single moms. She knew he was a bad egg, but she went in anyways...

[RetroDreamerXD]

Yep. That's true. To me she looks like she didn't to tough care about the consequences of her actions and didn't think things through until she had a kid with him. Like she could've ended the relationship beforehand or at least not had sex with him.

[Asker]

Exactly. I am not trying to be an asshole here... but it gets old/tiring when you run into the same scenario every time with women.

[RetroDreamerXD]

Yeah. I see your pov. My mom was a single mother and we struggled a lot because of the dumbest decision to have kids with a freaking retarded irresponsible dead beat. She would tell so many stories about how bad he was when they were growing up. Like there were so many red flags she ignored. And for what reason I don't know.

[itsnyssagain]

So you think abortion would have been better?
She sounds irresponsible by breaking off from a toxic relationship?

[likelyOK]

So basically you wish you were never born

[26ukdude]

Im not saying thats the case for all women but for a LOT you are right. Let me tell you a story bout myself. I was dating a girl, she had broke up with her ex, we dated for a week and probably had sex 15 times in that week, then she broke up with me and did the usual "its not you its me"... She said she was dissapointed she wasn't pregnant and this is after we had broken up. Afterwards she got back with her ex, then broke up with him and moved on to another guy... then another.
Finally said girl got pregnant and they broke up... for what reason I dont know.
This girl wanted a baby, not a relationship with a man. But just his sperm so she could have a kid. True story.

[26ukdude]

Another thing, every girl you talk to will blame the man, pretty much every single one. A lot of women are single mums by choice.

[Asker]

pretty much. you get it.

[Marinepilot]

That they will. Single mothers for the most part, to me anyway aren't worth the trouble to date.

[Marinepilot]

You were lucky indeed.

[Marinepilot]

Oh yeah. It's never their fault. The moon shots were fake and 'rasslin is real.

[tyber1]

Basically look at it like this. There are a lot of women out there so why would you choose one who requires so much extra responsibility right out of the gate? You're not just dating her, you're filling a father role in her kids life. That's a lot to ask for.

[redeyemindtricks]

Dude, but you so totes get a free CapriSun on yr way out.

[Asker]

I like caprisuns

[Sarahplus2]

how is she supposed to know he was cheating. you need to grow up some. i am a single mom, 25 with two 9 yo boys, but i date guys older than me.. maybe about 5 to 10 years older and dont have any issues.

[Sedusa_]

I guess my question to you and everyone else who's disagreeing with it would be, if she didn't want you to have ANY responsibilities would you still date her? For example, you're not a stepdad, you don't have to spend money, care for them, etc... Would she still be a deal breaker for you?

[utopianromance]

At my age it would be wishful thinking to find a woman who is not a single mom, and a bit hypocritical sense I have kids. But I completely understand your opinion, its logical.

[Jaron29]

I don't date any type of moms because as long as she is a mom, her kid will always come before me. -.-

If she loves her kid so much, then go marry her kid.

[VirginiaBeachBum]

I'd expect the same from my own wife with our kids, so I just don't understand the logic of your statement. The kids should ALWAYS come first.

[Jaron29]

That's for you. Not for me.

[Jaron29]

In my ideal marriage, my entire world orbits around my wife and her precious prescence, and so will be the same of me to her.

[I_am_repulsive]

You say that like that always seems the case, but it's not. Guys have gone through certain lengths to get into someone's pant and when there is an accidental baby, most of the time won't own up to it.

[Asker]

It's the woman's choice to stay in or not.

[Quacken]

So do a my take. Why are you posting as a question.

[Asker]

Because I can.

[VirginiaBeachBum]

If you don't want to date them, fine. Send them my way. I have no problem with it.

[skeptic007]

I have no issues with single moms but a lot of them push the man away when he wants to actually help them and his kid, so im very careful

[dudeman]

they are just a bad investment for men.

[Asker]

exactly.

[Marinepilot]

They are damaged and used. No thank you !