My friends drink and smoke, I don't, and I don't know what I should do...

[Edward_Von_Oldman]

Here is my issue: Since my friends and roommates started college they seem to be getting more into drinking and smoking. I don't part-take in either one of those activities. I'm not against the idea of smoking or drinking, but I just don't want to. If I ever had the desire to do either one of them, I would do them when I am of age (I am 20 and my roommates are 19). The smoking thing doesn't really bug me, because they just smoke cigars and they do it outside. I fear that the drinking thing, on the other hand, is becoming a problem. It is all they talk about now. We can't even relate anymore. For some reason, I feel the need to vocally express my disapproval of their new habits, which is stupid, because they don't care. They think I'm just a tight ass (which I probably am). I know what they do is none of my concern, but I don't want to be around them when they are intoxicated, especially the people I have to live with. Basically, I'm just a d*** and I have no clue how to deal with this particular situation. Can anybody offer me some advice? (Sorry for ranting)

[Anonymous]

yeah, you don't have to drink or smoke to be their friends. maybe try doing stuff that don't invovle that kind of stuff with them to keep the bond. Hope drinking and stuff don't ruin your relationship. after college I moved to a new state and really needed friends... I met some people who were my neighbors that did weed/alcohol frequently... like every other day... but I wasn't into it so I just never did it with them... instead we'd play cards or have large potlucks at each others house... or swim party...or movie nights without me having to do that stuff... are they forcing you to do it while having fun? even when we play beer pong... I don't have to drink! but you have teh right to not want to drink, but I think they should understand you have that right and respect you for it... and also still be your friend... it's not like you did soemthing mean to them! good luck

[Edward_Von_Oldman]

They aren't really forcing me to do, and they couldn't even if they wanted to. Maybe it's not so bad that they drink. It's just that if they do, they only want to do it where I live. So, getting away from it becomes more difficult. It's like going home isn't even an option. I guess I could drive an hour away to my parents' house, but that would be kinda lame, lol.

[kmhco]

Unfortunately people change and grow apart. If you no longer feel as if you have anything in common with them, you have to move on--its better in the long run if you do. There are plenty of people out there that don't smoke or drink all the time. Since it sounds like you're in college, go to campus events and/or join clubs. You will meet new people to hang out with that are not always drinking. You might also want to try to find a new place to live if you really hate being around your roommates.

[Edward_Von_Oldman]

I suppose you are correct. I'm afraid that I may actually have to look for a new place once the lease is up for this place. Thanks for answering my question.

[WaitingAtTheDoor]

I was in your same position in high school.

And it's an unfortunate part of life, but sometimes we have to separate ourselves from a bad situation.

You're right what your friends do is their choice to make, but that doesn't mean you should have to suffer through it.

I know it's hard to part from friends, but having done it myself, I know it is necessary, and I know that if I had not, I would not be as accomplished as I am today.

Start slowly, by not associating with them as much, and continue the process until have removed them completely.

The great thing about college is that it's not too difficult to meet new people, and that's really what this time is about.

[Edward_Von_Oldman]

Thanks for taking the time to offer a word of advice. I really appreciate it, man. It sucks, but I think that separating myself from them may be the only thing that I can do...