It is a symptom of our incredible social wealth and medical advancement that this is even a question. For most of human history, and until far more recently than you might think, more infants and children died than survived to adulthood. So of course you would save the mother: she was a functioning member of society who had survived a dozen potentially deadly viruses and was now immune to them (and can almost certainly have more children). Save the baby, and it's a coin flip whether it'll make it past puberty.
Today, nearly every child becomes an adult. Girls don't learn during childhood that they'll need to cope with that loss. This changes the emotional dynamic -- but I'd still rather keep an experienced adult than trade down to a needy dependent who will now be raised with a missing parent.
Agreed. It sounds cold, but this is ultimately a natural and justifiable survival instinct. We accept that child birth is risky and we know not all babies survive. That’s the reality. It’s tragic and I don’t mean to minimize that, but I honestly don’t think I would choose to sacrifice myself for my child in a pregnancy/childbirth scenario.
With that information, I would probably go with saving the mother and hope for the best with the baby. However in reality it would depend on the situation, it would not be out of the question to choose differently in different kind of situation. In real life it's not that black and white. Especially if the mother is late pregnant like OP mentions, there is often very high chances of baby being fine in the end too.
Good point. It’s not particularly realistic to have a scenario where you have to “kill” the baby in order to save the mother, unless it’s a scenario where an abortion is recommended for health reasons, which shouldn’t really be happening unless the baby is too young to survive outside of the womb. In normal childbirth/late pregnancy scenarios, it seems more likely that you’re simply prioritizing the health of the mother, not flat out killing the child. In many cases it may be possible to save both, and one would hope for that, but it’s reasonable to prioritize the mother’s health.
Yeah, exactly. The next claim comes from top of my head, but it should be fairly accurate. Don't have the protocol anywhere in hand and I'm too lazy right now to go digging it. After 24 or 25 pregnancy weeks, over 50% (I think it was something like 50%-65%, or even more?) of babies will survive. Even at 22 weeks there is about 1/4 chance of surviving. Each day increases the chances of survival. It's very uncommon that so early in the pregnancy there would be issues which require to make the decision between mother and the baby.
Because at the end of the day the mother wants what's best for her baby and dyeing in childbirth is always a risk. She'd never forgive you if you chose her because then she'd have to deal with the heartache too
Honestly I think I’d want my partner to choose me, in this particular scenario. I hope this is something people talk to their partner about in advance, before it becomes an issue.
That's such a tough question. The mother and father could always try for another baby though... either that the father is left heartbroken with a new baby to raise on his own. That thought breaks my heart!
The mother since we’re looking at it through the fathers perspective— I honestly would do the same if I were in their position.
Most mothers would sacrifice themselves for their babies without a second thought. I think it is understandable for a father to assume that the mother of his child would want that.
Yeah I agree with you completely. Sure they could assume that, but to just answer the question bluntly, pretty sure the father would rather save the mother hands down. Not everyone is the same though obviously. I for sure would not know what to do if I was in the mother’s position.
Opinion
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(I'm assuming a c-section is impossible in this scenario)
Let the mother decide. If I was the father and it was up to me, I would probably save my wife. The child will suffer the least, and my emotions would probably get the better of me whether that was true or not.
i don't think i could make this decision unilaterally... if i was placed in a situation where i had to make that choice i would flip a coin... based on my reaction to the results i would make a split second decision and move from there, but i would delay making that choice until further delay was creating a risk that both would die...
A mother can always produce more babies and she is a supposedly well-functioning adult who will contribute more to society, unlike a baby that would be solely dependant on being just given resources.
People have apparently forgotten that back in olden days, parents just left their babies for dead pretty often when they were short on food.
Nandor, you've cut me to a hard decision!! I can't decide! The Mother has lived longer, and the baby was just born.. but I'm a girl lover!!! Can I kill myself and save both?
Well, I've asked this question to others, and they've all said that when I get to be a Father someday, (If I do) It will be obvious that I will want to save my Baby... That is a Woman's point of view, and the Woman is NATURALLY protective, and defensive of her child... But the Man has a different role, to love both their wives, AND their children. If I had to save either, It will be my child, even though I would DESPERATELY love my wife. I'm just thankful I have never had to make that decision, And I hope I never will have to.
It's up to the Mother at that point. In this terrible situation I've found that the mother will often choose to save the baby, while the father would choose to save the mother. Even more often, there is no choice in this matter.
Prolly cuz the mother gets the most love from her children... but the father gets the most love from the mother... and so through the mother, the children learn to trust and love the father in a way helping him get into that tight circle of love/connection that the mother and child share from pregnancy.
I've become attached to the mother and without the mother supporting me I don't think I could mentally be able to raise that child. She means more to me than the child.
Save the mother because you can always make more kids with her, but if the mother dies, you can't get your SO back. Plus I wouldn't be so attached to an unborn baby either.
Most mothers would sacrifice themselves for their babies without a second thought. I think it is understandable for a father to assume that the mother of his child would want that.
Save the mother. Especially if I was the actual father.
Save the baby because the mother already had her chance to live and the risks of pregnancy is to save the woman after saving the baby first. I'm sure those are tough choices because either way it's tough.
That's only the risk of pregnancy if you decide that it is. I personally would not go into a pregnancy expecting to sacrifice my life for an unborn child that might still not survive. Obviously it's ideal for both mother and child to survive- that's the whole point after all- but I would expect my own safety to take priority.
It's not about the importance of either life. It's about what makes the most sense at a particular moment. The chances that a choice must be made between the mother and baby's safety at a point after the baby has been born are pretty small- and in the unlikely event that does occur, the woman will be able to make the choice for herself. And even during childbirth, you're never going to have to "kill" the baby to save the mom- it's a matter of prioritizing one life, but very possible both can be saved. I would go into pregnancy and childbirth knowing that not every baby makes it. Of course the hope is that it will, but I still value my own life and my decision to attempt to bring new life into the world doesn't mean I'm agreeing to a trade.
I think it's something you should discuss with your partner prior to pregnancy or at least prior to childbirth. It's a sad and difficult topic to discuss, but it's important to be on the same page.
Well, I didn't know who you were, but... now I do.
I think moat of mother will want to save the baby cz it will be a sad experience for their whole life. I would choose my wife and help her get through it, and then we will be able to have more children for our whole life.
Save the mother obviously
It's not 'obvious', actually, most mothers would sacrifice themselves for their babies without a second thought. I think it is understandable for a father to assume that the mother of his child would want that.
What if I don't make a decision?
Damn that's tough
Its selfish to go with the mom, she won't forgive me for this, I think its the best to save the baby because she wants me to
But you never know what your end will be like, no matter how rightful are your decisions
by the way did you get that idea from Clannad?
Tnx I will check it, hope I don't see something weirder than tentacles romance
I like your taste, if I don't have any idea what to watch I can just look up at your list
You watch aaaaa lot of stuff tho*.*
I gave it 9, its really good but I keep 10 only for the heart breakers
Well its impressive for newbie weeb like me
Yeah agree but 9 its pretty close to 10
The worst I ahev given is 4
Save the mother cuz you can always have another baby.
you always save the mother.
It would be up to the mother.
Save the mother
Save the baby. Start the new generation
I'd leave it up to her.
Save the baby. The mother has done her duty.
Save the mother.
Most mothers would sacrifice themselves for their babies without a second thought. I think it is understandable for a father to assume that the mother of his child would want that.
@BrianMerritt I guess I can understand that, it just seems most logical to save the mother to me. I don't know what I'd want to do in a situation where it was me or my child, I imagine I'd say to save my child, but I know that if it was my wife, I'd save her over the baby.
It is logical to save the mother, and a robot would make that choice, because it mathematically makes more sense.
@BrianMerritt Exactly. Doesn't make it the wrong decision just because it's the most sensible one, it's just not the choice that people feel good about making 😊
Save the mother.
But most mothers would sacrifice themselves for their babies without a second thought. I think it is understandable for a father to assume that the mother of his child would want that.
@BrianMerritt I don’t think anyone except the mother herself has the right to make that call. She is an independent person who is already living out in the world, with responsibilities and an established life. She may have other children who need their mom. Losing a child is a tragedy but childbirth is risky, and we know that going in. I honestly don’t know what I would choose in that situation, and I wouldn’t necessarily want my husband to assume I’d wish to sacrifice myself.
@BrianMerritt I think there are timed when I would choose to sacrifice myself for my child or even someone else but I’m not sure if pregnancy/childbirth is one of them.
This question is not asking the mother, this question is asking what someone who's not the mother should do. You are making a point that is true but irrelevant to the question.
@BrianMerritt It’s totally relevant to the question. I don’t think it’s reasonable to assume that the mother would wish to sacrifice her own life. How is that irrelevant?
The question isn't asking the mother to choose, it's asking someone else to choose. You said the choice should be in the mother's hands, but the question is asking what if someone else had to pick.
@BrianMerritt Huh? My answer was that I’d save the mother.
@BrianMerritt I think it’s awfully presumptuous to make any other choice on the mother’s behalf. If you’re ever the father of a child, I hope you’ll discuss this issue with the pregnant woman in advance.
@BrianMerritt My answer was that I’d save the mother, BUT if the mother was able to make her own choice, then she could choose to sacrifice herself if she wanted. I would not make that choice on her behalf unless she had previously specified that it was what she would want. My original answer to the question was that I’d save the mother. That was my answer.
Yeah, I get that, but I was talking about the question that this Asker is asking.
@BrianMerritt I’m confused about how you think I’m not answering the question. I’m saying that I would choose to save the mother and I believe that’s the only reasonable choice for anyone to make, unless the mother has previously specified that she would want something different. How is that not answering the question?
@BrianMerritt I think it’s presumptuous to just assume that the mother would wish to sacrifice herself in this scenario, and I don’t think it’s necessarily the most logical choice. The idea that any mother would always choose to save her child is sweet and idyllic but we’re human too, you know. There are certainly times when I would sacrifice myself for my children, but pregnancy/childbirth is not one of them; that’s a scenario where I go in knowing that it’s risky and accepting that babies don’t always survive. But under normal circumstances it’s possible to attempt to ave both mother and child, the baby doesn’t necessarily have to die just because you choose to prioritize the mother’s safety.
Fuck, am I the only one who READ THE FUCKING QUESTION?
@BrianMerritt Please explain exactly what part of my answer does not address the question.
*rolls eyes*
@BrianMerritt Question: "Would you rather save the mother or the baby?" Answer: "Save the mother." Seems like I answered the question to me. If you disagree, you're gonna have to do better than an eye roll.
You said the choice should be in the mother's hands... if the choice were in the mothers hands, why would this question be a question at all?
The point of this question is what would WE pick. The premise is, as I understand, the mother is unable to make the choice herself; she's unconscious or something.
Don't you understand? If this question could be answered with "well, we should let the mother decide" yeah, OBVIOUS-fucking-LY, that's not a question at all.
I rolled my eyes because you are doing this: question: "if you had to choose, what would you choose?" you: "I'd let them choose" the point of this question is that WE are choosing without the mother's consent, and that's what makes it an interesting question.
Shit, you people are so anal you always make me sound like a lunatic when I have to explain the most simple things.
@BrianMerritt Dude. My initial answer to this question was literally "Save the mother". That was my answer. To the question. What about that do you not understand?
I've maintained throughout this entire conversation, that while it would be ideal to have the mother's input, if I was in charge of making the decision, I would choose to save the mother. Everything else I've said has simply been my reasons FOR my answer. Do you not understand the concept of explaining WHY you believe something?
@BrianMerritt If I asked you, "Do you prefer trees or bushes?" and you say "I prefer trees", and I say, "Well I like bushes better", and you say, "Bushes can be nice, but I prefer trees, because they're taller", did you fail to answer the question? No... you clearly did answer the question.. you just also said some other stuff afterwards. Please, for the love of all that's holy, comprehend what it means to provide an answer to a question.
Ok: you're right, I'm wrong. Now leave me alone.
@BrianMerritt Seriously? You're commenting on MY answer. It's not like I'm stalking you.
Ok, then I'll leave you alone. I don't want you cluttering my notifications anymore. Say your last bit and then that's it for me. Females are sociopathic when they argue, and they will commit to the most insane mental gymnastics when doing so. I'm out of patience with this.
@BrianMerritt Lol
Save the mother.
Save the mother.
Save the mother
Save the mother
Save the baby
Save the mother
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