What i mean is on here you often hear men saying that they like women who do NOT wear any makeup, don't dress up (wear dresses, skirts), wear jewelry, get there nails done, dislike heels etc... this is all part of the appearance of a feminine women.. obviously this isn't all guys but its something i've noticed on here in the comments, what is your take on it? This is PURELY a appearance thing and not about behavior by the way.
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I don't know why (state why)
I've never noticed this.
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If guys like femininity why do they often bash feminine/girly things?
Honestly I don't really know why some people actually do that. We are all different and have different thoughts so am going to speak for myself only and what my opinion is regarding the appearance dear Princess Pie.
Frankly am the kind of person who likes a woman for her brain and intelligence, but your question is towards appearance so her face is what gets my attention first and it is always nice seeing a Lady in a elegant simple red dress ❤
Red color on a woman is pure beauty and love and passion. But it annoys me in case she is wearing something that is extremely uncomfortable as matter of fact. A girl in jeans, t-shirt and converse or yoga pants or sweat pants feels seems to be feeling better and more relaxed, thus, leading to a more comfortable conversation. Besides, in case we want to walk around and check out places together, she will be able without hurting her feet.
Again dear Princess Pie, I don't personally "bash" her feminine appearance, on the contrary, i love women and their curves, bodies, hair, face, sweetness, tenderness, etc... as my profile mentions. If she is comfortable wearing heals all the time than I don't mind.
Regarding the "make up": Too much make up is a bit of dislike for me as for I will be seeing too much product on her face and I like a woman's natural clear face aspect. Make up is good, but not too much. Just a bit of clean clear make up and lip gloss maybe, am not an expert, but the kind of lip gloss that are transparent and make her lips so tender and beautiful.
Every woman has a different feminine touch that is unique to her, and some women just like to imitate kardashian or other celebrities with plastic surgeries, which are a dislike to me honestly.
I understand some people like big lips, or big whatever they think is necessary, but why ruin what society think is imperfection while some men find those perfection?
A woman being herself without trying to look like some "bimbo" sorry for the vocabulary, in my eyes is more appreciated.
I've never bashed anything feminine, but I think the root of the issue is that we like our women natural.
What I mean is, sure; it's nice to see you ladies all dressed up & decked out in makeup/jewelry/heals, etc, but you don't NEED to. I consider those to be for special occasions, more than anything else.
A girl can dress like that, for a night out, and she'll look amazing, but at the end of the day, I enjoy snuggling in the couch with my girl the way she really is. She can be wearing sweatpants, and her hair could be a mess, but I love her for it. It means she's comfortable with me.
She doesn't have to wear all that stuff to impress me. She certainly can, if she wants to, though, not for me, but because I know some girls like doing that for themselves, as well. It's just not, and never had been, a requirement.
perhaps it is not femininity that men have an issue with, but falseness and concealment. It is okay to be feminine in a classy way, to dress up in a cute dress, curl your hair, and wear SOME makeup. However, perhaps they have an issue with women who have curled hair every single day of their lives, fake nails, fake lashes, and a shitload of makeup, and who wear stiletto heels just to go to the grocery store. There is such thing as extravagance. However, if a guy has an issue with my gold necklace, 4 gold/diamond rings, and earrings, then I will gladly tell him to fuck off. I like to dress stylishly, I LOVE jewellery (the expensive kind), but I don't cake on makeup. Perhaps men prefer their women a little natural. They may want to know what their woman looks like without the fake lashes BEFORE their wedding night. and they have a right to know.
So many useless opinions... Anyway. There as some things to break down. One is makeup. The second is clothes. The third is jewelry. For a man, the ultimate source of female beauty is the female body itself. No, I don't mean your face doesn't matter. I mean that your very material, skin and body self is what interests them. As such: Makeup will be attractive to guys if it is: a) Obvious, but tasteful - it shows an artistic talent. b) "natural" makeup. In the first case makeup is not used to cover up mistakes, but add to the face as a whole. In the second case, they just fall for it, because they think you are naturally like that. When guys see makeup that is obvious, but is obviously meant to paint a completely new face, they feel like it is fake, and are repulsed.
Clothes: again, it doesn't really matter as long as it accentuates your body's natural shape.
Jewelry: It is purely a matter of taste. It does nothing for me, but some guys like it. The only kind of jewelry that I personally like seeing on women is a nice necklace. A beautiful neckline is probably one of the most attractive features of a woman in an everyday conversation, and if you can accessorize it well, that's always a plus. Double plus for chokers. But when I see things like this: cf.girlsaskguys.com/.../...e-972d-55f5f148f013.jpg Well, this is just too much. And I know you posted this picture, that is why I used it. So just to clarify, THIS looks alright: cf.girlsaskguys.com/.../...f-b3f3-1611018595eb.jpg Because it is subtle. Ultimately, I think guys in general value subtlety and simplicity. I certainly do. THIS does nothing for me for example: image.dhgate.com/albu_399889311_00/1.0x0.jpg While THIS is attractive for me: ae01.alicdn.com/.../...lace-Dainty-Circle-Gift.jpg
[Straight] Men don't rag on makeup if it is worn by the right person, aka women. When other men wear it, it creates cognitive dissonance and often creates psychological conflict. An element of women applied to another man can create confusion, which is why straight men strongly dislike wearing it or seeing gay men wear it.
But, that's probably not what you're referring to, is it? You're probably talking about when men bash women for wearing makeup. Well, it's another case of Not All, but the ones that do often emphasis SMV or sexual market value: what makeup does is increase a women's physical appearance (and, therefore, attractiveness), allowing them to climb the sexual market ladder, even as they get older, by artificially presenting as younger. In effect, it is gaming the system, giving women a tactical advantage when it comes to dating--something which is simply off-limits for most men. Men have to earn their SMV the hard way: earning lots of money, working out a lot, accruing a large social network, or all of the above. Some men can get by just on looks, but because of the fact that they are all viewed--to some extent--as "the provider", that will not be enough.
You will rarely see a woman complaining that another woman is wearing too much makeup (or any) when she is with a man, because of an implicit acknowledgment that some element of the women beyond what comes in the package was alluring to the man.
TL;DR Some men bash the effects of makeup, because it can easily allow the wearer (usually women) to look more appealing than they actually are and thus increase their value to whatever sex they are interested in, and men simply don't have this option
P. S. I predict there will at least one or two angry women in the comment section about how my opinion is misogynistic or sexist, which is just a deflection against the fact that I'm bluntly stating the situation for what it is and some people don't want that kind of information out in the open--despite that PUA communities and The Red Pill community have been talking about this for year--but I digress. Calling it... now
Feminine women are very different from men. Feminine/girly things like those you listed emphasize the differences women have with men, which can be intimidating to guys. And to be frank, most guys today are pussies who are afraid of the unknown rather than embracing it. They'd rather have something more similar to themselves, something they understand, rather than having and appreciating something different from themselves. That's the appeal that a tomboy girl has with guys - they're not afraid of her because they understand her. She's cool. She's easy to talk to.
Older and more confident men will typically go for the feminine/girly girls because they aren't afraid of them or intimidated by them and because they embrace the differences women have with themselves. Younger guys will look at them and secretly desire them, but they'll be too afraid to approach and connect with them. So they resort to shaming and such to convince girls to not be feminine, making them less 'scary' and more approachable. I've seen this play out too many times to count in my years of dating.
I love dresses and skirts on girls, make up is nice but sometimes its nice to see girls without it. I don't really think make up is a feminine thing, but I don't wear it and I think women look beautiful when wearing it. Some guys see it as lying to their face about your appearance. Jewelry is nice but I guess unless it's a wedding ring I dont care if she wears it, I've never been a big fan of jewelry unless it has meaning attached to it. Getting nails done is cute, I love seeing the designs and colors, would probably be willing to get nails done with girlfriend sometimes, it doesn't seem that feminine haha. I like when my girl wears heels, makes it easier to kiss her, I mostly feel neutral to them though, her shoe choice is hers and I don't think shoes without heels are less feminine. Some guys dislike heels because it makes girls taller than them/makes them feel insecure? Not 100% sure there.
I do like women getting their hair done and working out to keep themselves fit too, and a light amount of perfume drives me absolutely crazy but can be a turn off if you use too much.
In our society (US, Western) guys are raised to be 'Macho' and 'Manly', and some, sadly, are taught to hate on guys that express a 'feminine side', not necessarily being gay, but appreciating art, fashion, and things that are typically seen, in PAST GENERATIONS, as "Woman things!" That 'Programming' kind of messes up relationships with modern women, who are asserting their equality!! What a mess!! A lot of guys are really unsure, nervous, and maybe a little freaked out, with the idea of things that women take for granted, like shopping! She likes him, and wants to try things on, and see what he likes seeing her wear. Easy, simple, logical ideal!! Makes sense to her, doesn't it? But the guy hears something different, and thinks 'girly stuff' and he is going to miss some game!! ONLY a woman could sell it, and make it so simple!! One I dated just said, "Let's go shopping and I want to see what you like, and get something that turns you on, and then let's see what happens, later..." Ok, I don't mind holding your purse, then!! :) :) Maybe we can stop by that store with the little things. . . Short answer: A lot of guys were raised by the past generations, that there should be a 'separation' of sorts, and any guy that says something like, "That is a really cute skirt!" must be something 'unmanly'!!! Thankfully, it is changing, but dreadfully slow!!! Then there are other guys that totally accept it, and share just about anything, with her, PRIVATELY, but would be MORTIFIED if anyone, their Guy friends, knew!! I think the old BS needs to go, and be history!! I'm not saying I want her to bring home some flowery Duvee thing, or bed-ruffle, as I am not even sure what those are!! But I would listen, if there was a need for these! :) :) The 'Bashing' is just a guy defense mechanism to pretend he doesn't really like it, for the reasons above!
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Anonymous
(30-35)
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My political opinion: There's inherent misogyny in our society that = anything correlated with *perceptions of women's nature* is easily degraded and demeaned as silly, stupid, and shallow - exactly how society likes to depict women, in contrast to the portrayal of men. Masculinity is viewed as stronger, smarter, more competitive, more grounded, more substantive yet less emotional.
So the result is that people are conditioned to identify "girly" and "feminine" things as less important. It's a complicated thing, as many things that women are encouraged toward are problematic in our conditioning to be "the right kind of women." Disdain for even those things is often coming from a sexist mindset.
As a feminist, I critique beauty culture and the feminine because its necessary and there should be room/acceptance for women who embrace different expressions of themselves, whether feminine or masculine. However, I love typically "girly/femme" things and I love to shock people with the depth and intelligence they assume I lack because of my appearance or the fact that I love makeup and fashion. It's sad but thats where we are right now.
There's a difference between femininity and "girly things."
Girly things are just the things girls typically like. Femininity would be basically just femaleness in physicality and behaviour. You could say there's some overlap but they're not the same thing.
"this is all part of the appearance of a feminine women" *Women* chose to wear those things, not men. This is not necessarily what men appreciate in women. This is *women's* representation of what they want to be as women. There are still feminine qualities that men latch onto outside of those things; in other words, femininity is far more than "girly" appearance. There a difference between the things girls want to do and the things that make girls attractive.
These things are generally considered "feminine" because girl typically do them, but there's a distinction to be made with what aspects of femaleness guys actually respond to. Women have just gone nuts with what they like to do to themselves, thus defining a femininity separate from the femininity men like.
Furthermore, these attitudes shift over time.
And as for makeup, guys want a naturally attractive person. Being unattractive and hiding it is not the same as being attractive. If you don't look good without makeup then you don't *really* look good full stop.
"What i mean is on here you often hear men saying that they like women who do NOT wear any makeup" Blatantly that is a personal preference some people have. There are actually only a few make up styles that actually looks good to me. But for the most part I will think you actually look better or more attractive without it. (if anything make up hides once natural femininity) "Don't dress up (wear dresses, skirts)" I actually like when girls try out new outfits. Skirts dresses and stuff. Though if a guy wants her to go on adventures he may prefer pants/shorts. "wear jewelry," I see some of the appeal. It can make a outfit look much better.
"get there nails done" I feel like this is a small contribution in the outfits and probably isn't worth the extra effort/prep time. But I won't complain.
" dislike heels etc... " I never understood the appeal of heels, aside from "oh I can walk gracefully even in these abominations."
"this is all part of the appearance of a feminine women." At least the rituals of a feminine girl. And I do like them when pulled off off well and harmonized. But I also am attracted to a feminine looking woman who doesn't do all of this. Femininity to me isn't looking dainty and perfect, it isn't flaunting one's beauty, it is making a look that, not sure how to describe it, that flows. Why is long hair and dresses commonly associated with feminity? Because it flows. Why are jewelry especially danglely jewelry feminine because it accentuates movements. Feminity isn't hiding what is wrong, it isn't the clothes, it is highlighting what is good and accentuating specific aspects of looks and movements.
Barring every case where it's just preference w/o any particular meaning (maybe the guy just grew up on a horse farm and all the women there obviously never wore makeup), yes there are men who stay away from feminine looking/acting women in particular.
It would be the same type of man who'd actually get uncomfortable rather than flattered if a woman would 'ooh' over his ability to carry a bunch of heavy boxes.
He wants no part of the classic masc/fem polarity attraction. Maybe he's afraid of not being able to live up to it, or he's pissed off about the way masculinity is regarded these days that he simply just prefer to go AWOL from the whole thing. He doesn't have to be noticably androgynous for this, but he's probably not noticably manly either.
And so, a woman who looks and acts feminine becomes something to avoid since he doesn't want to be part of that dynamic. His girlfriend, should he have one, is a tomboy, a geek, a homebody or someone a bit punkish.
Funny enough. You will find variations of this guy on opposite extremes, both among radical progressives and MRA/MGTOWs.
It’s like I was discussing with you, the different characters on here and how you can see through them. 90% of those who froth at the mouth in anger would absolutely melt and change their tune if a girl ever paid them any attention. If a girl who dolls up did it... they wouldn’t know what to do and run away lol.
I don't know any guy that hates femininity on its own on a woman. I would think most masculine guys like feminine women.
However, there may be stereotypes about feminine women that correspond to set behaviors created about them. Like being easily offended or grossed out, not being open to typical male dominant activities like sports or videogames. Lots of guys like tomboys for that reason (you can still be a tomboy and feminine btw).
Other than that.. maybe some put femininity with the 3rd wave feminist movement. I dunno?
My impression is they don't like it when women are overly fussy, pay too much attention to their clothes and "things", can't have fun because they are too dressed up and constantly complain. A girl who wears high heels when it's appropriate and something different for hiking is appreciated for her look and it doesn't mean his fun is ruined by having to play butler to his date. The face without makeup is a private look and appears when the two know each other better. He gets to see her let down her guard and be natural.
I would put it this way... when people ask questions about guys liking these sorts of traits the girls with whom we associate these traits as defining characteristics are not the sorts of girls we like. The fashion focused girls or the girls who spend 2 hours on makeup and focus their time and energy only on looks. Those are the sorts of girls with whom those traits are associated. I would take the type of girl who doesn't wear makeup over a girl who always wears makeup any day but if my girl who never wears makeup decides to wear it all of a sudden, I think that's awesome. Painted nails, wearing makeup, high heels. In many ways those are all things that really do make a girl appear more attractive, however I also have an association with those things and girls who are only focused on their appearance. Those are the sorts of girls that just drive me nuts =/
I think what you prefer others to wear simply just reflects your own taste. I personally prefer simple designs, neutral colors and no patterns. I would never put "girly" visuals anywhere, because I find them oppressive, and I don't like seeing them on other people either.
I often find that people with matching personalities also have matching fashion tastes.
Also, a woman's butt simply just looks way better in form-fitting business pants than it does hidden behind layers of frilly fabric of a dress or a skirt, in my opinion.
From an appearance standpoint, some guys like girls getting "dolled up", and others don't. Some like both, or each at a different time. It's just preferences. I think a lot comes down to if the guy favours the look of the girl or the look that the girl can create. It's a lot like breast implants. About half of guys love them and just want a girl with big boobs however they happen. And half of guys can't stand them and would prefer smaller boobs as long as they are natural. Two very different reactions to the same action. Just preferences.
Some guys like girls who tan, some hate it.
For makeup and stuff, one thing that I know is a factor for me, is that I don't particularly like a girl in makeup, it just doesn't look good to me. But I LOVE when a girl puts in effort to put on make up FOR ME. It's not the makeup that matters, it's the effort that she's made to look good for me.
I dont think thats true over all I mean if the guy himself is just a jean and t shirt kinda guy then maybe. Also girls that are done up are more intimidating cause they often also expect him to look good too
You have a guy with scruffy jeans too long for him and bad fashion in general is not going to mesh well with a fashionista type of girl
Note: im not talking about excess make up and being excessively done up. Just a gurl that looks like she commands a man with a ferrari vs one that doesn't. Is what i mean
I think it's really more about expectations. They prefer less from her cause then she most likely doesn't mind less from him
Also we have tk keep in mind. Most girls if not all girls have some thing on Its just their make up might look natural though. The guys just dont notice it
I like tomboys by the way, just before we get into things.
Men tend like practical things more or less. Heels and fake nails are not practical. Also, they are fake nails not real ones. They are also something that was invented by women to supposedly look cool. But men have never liked them because they are gross and impractical. As for heels, they accentuate the legs and butt. Me personally, I hate heels because it looks like uncomfortable. A comfortable girl is a cute girl.
Makeup was meant to accentuate the cheeks of a woman, which blush when she's ready to mate. Her lips swell and become brighter colored, this is where lipstick comes in. Usually these are red because red symbolizes fruit, passion, vibrance and fertility.
But these signals are only meant for certain occasions and whether we know it or not, these artificial signs of being sexually ready confuse us. So most of the time, women wouldn't be blushing, the guy noticing it in specific circumstances.
One thing I have noticed about people in general, male or female, is that they often like the idea of things, often more than the actual practice of doing them. Every body loves the idea of being in love, but how many of us are scared frozen by the idea of hitting a rough patch with someone?
It's the same with guys and femininity. We like the idea of the natural beauty, the stone cold stunner. But we spend so much time seeing pictures of girls who have put hours into their appearance, specifically to look like they just woke up looking flawless, that we expect girls to just look that way normally.
I like cute girls the most which usually are better without make up, or very little. I like them to look more sporty. A dress or skirt is fine, but I don't like long nails or heels because I want them to be able to do physical stuff without being worried about messing something up. For jewelry, if we are only going to a movie or out to eat, it's fine, but for some other things it isn't a good choice.
The things I would seriously dislike in looks would be too short of hair (pixie cuts), tattoos, and plaid flannel clothes. Those aren't feminine or girly at all to me.
Heels and make up make women look super trashy. I always associate those with hookers or strippers. (not trolling)
The only like make up i like is nude or natural.
There are other ways to be feminine like: smelling good having nice long hair being hygienic and keeping your body shaved tennis shoes like vans and converse are cute on girls wedges over heels
@2opaz My age is showing? LOL. 32 isn't that old for one. Plus, a lot of younger people are into vintage fashion. I'd rather be with an original girl than one that looks like everyone else and like they didn't even try (like the girl in the picture you posted).
I'm a little all over the place but I mostly wear original or inspired 60s/70s clothing. Good quality, expensive material, often handmade that I manage to find at thrift stores. I have dress and boots that look almost exactly the same as this, very mod 60s inspired. art-meets-world.com/.../the-love-witch-movie.jpg Also a big fan of wide flared, bright blue, high waisted jeans, think dazed and confused i.dailymail.co.uk/.../...ge-m-14_1467082047892.jpg I wear a lot of tight, long sleeve patterned 70s tops as well, they look a bit like this in shape but different pattern i.pinimg.com/.../...34e397705b5a986552832dbea8.jpg
Because I believe I look good, no I know I look good. You can prefer some plain, horrendously average clothing that speaks nothing to anyone and is only purchased because people have no creativity and it's cheap, but I know I'll look better.
Of course. But I personally think fashion is incredibly personal. There's no way I could go down to some high street store and find something that actually suits me or my personality.
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