If guys like femininity why do they often bash feminine/girly things?

What i mean is on here you often hear men saying that they like women who do NOT wear any makeup, don't dress up (wear dresses, skirts), wear jewelry, get there nails done, dislike heels etc... this is all part of the appearance of a feminine women.. obviously this isn't all guys but its something i've noticed on here in the comments, what is your take on it?
This is PURELY a appearance thing and not about behavior by the way.
If guys like femininity why do they often bash feminine/girly things?




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Most Helpful Guys

  • I've never bashed anything feminine, but I think the root of the issue is that we like our women natural.

    What I mean is, sure; it's nice to see you ladies all dressed up & decked out in makeup/jewelry/heals, etc, but you don't NEED to. I consider those to be for special occasions, more than anything else.

    A girl can dress like that, for a night out, and she'll look amazing, but at the end of the day, I enjoy snuggling in the couch with my girl the way she really is. She can be wearing sweatpants, and her hair could be a mess, but I love her for it. It means she's comfortable with me.

    She doesn't have to wear all that stuff to impress me. She certainly can, if she wants to, though, not for me, but because I know some girls like doing that for themselves, as well. It's just not, and never had been, a requirement.

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  • Honestly I don't really know why some people actually do that. We are all different and have different thoughts so am going to speak for myself only and what my opinion is regarding the appearance dear Princess Pie.

    Frankly am the kind of person who likes a woman for her brain and intelligence, but your question is towards appearance so her face is what gets my attention first and it is always nice seeing a Lady in a elegant simple red dress ❤

    Red color on a woman is pure beauty and love and passion. But it annoys me in case she is wearing something that is extremely uncomfortable as matter of fact. A girl in jeans, t-shirt and converse or yoga pants or sweat pants feels seems to be feeling better and more relaxed, thus, leading to a more comfortable conversation. Besides, in case we want to walk around and check out places together, she will be able without hurting her feet.

    Again dear Princess Pie, I don't personally "bash" her feminine appearance, on the contrary, i love women and their curves, bodies, hair, face, sweetness, tenderness, etc... as my profile mentions. If she is comfortable wearing heals all the time than I don't mind.

    Regarding the "make up":
    Too much make up is a bit of dislike for me as for I will be seeing too much product on her face and I like a woman's natural clear face aspect. Make up is good, but not too much. Just a bit of clean clear make up and lip gloss maybe, am not an expert, but the kind of lip gloss that are transparent and make her lips so tender and beautiful.

    Every woman has a different feminine touch that is unique to her, and some women just like to imitate kardashian or other celebrities with plastic surgeries, which are a dislike to me honestly.

    I understand some people like big lips, or big whatever they think is necessary, but why ruin what society think is imperfection while some men find those perfection?

    A woman being herself without trying to look like some "bimbo" sorry for the vocabulary, in my eyes is more appreciated.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • Afraid of confrontation.

    Some people like to sheep in order to feel included with current trends. Its trendy to be into au natural, hipster, feministic ideology.

    Some guys do prefer dull girls, but they dont announce it all thirstily as a "validate me as a politically correct person," every damn response.

    I mean the question will say, "How can I nail this interview?"

    Some guy on there like, "well if I was the boss, I wouldn't hire girls with fake nails because I like natural REAL girls and mataba ba ba"

    Yes because fake nails take priority over skills, exp, and degrees.

    😐

    All I know is that girls who are girly, dont complain as much about not getting male attention.

    Coincedence?

    Fuck naaaah

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  • perhaps it is not femininity that men have an issue with, but falseness and concealment. It is okay to be feminine in a classy way, to dress up in a cute dress, curl your hair, and wear SOME makeup. However, perhaps they have an issue with women who have curled hair every single day of their lives, fake nails, fake lashes, and a shitload of makeup, and who wear stiletto heels just to go to the grocery store. There is such thing as extravagance. However, if a guy has an issue with my gold necklace, 4 gold/diamond rings, and earrings, then I will gladly tell him to fuck off. I like to dress stylishly, I LOVE jewellery (the expensive kind), but I don't cake on makeup. Perhaps men prefer their women a little natural. They may want to know what their woman looks like without the fake lashes BEFORE their wedding night. and they have a right to know.

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What Guys Said 188

  • I love dresses and skirts on girls, make up is nice but sometimes its nice to see girls without it. I don't really think make up is a feminine thing, but I don't wear it and I think women look beautiful when wearing it. Some guys see it as lying to their face about your appearance. Jewelry is nice but I guess unless it's a wedding ring I dont care if she wears it, I've never been a big fan of jewelry unless it has meaning attached to it. Getting nails done is cute, I love seeing the designs and colors, would probably be willing to get nails done with girlfriend sometimes, it doesn't seem that feminine haha. I like when my girl wears heels, makes it easier to kiss her, I mostly feel neutral to them though, her shoe choice is hers and I don't think shoes without heels are less feminine. Some guys dislike heels because it makes girls taller than them/makes them feel insecure? Not 100% sure there.

    I do like women getting their hair done and working out to keep themselves fit too, and a light amount of perfume drives me absolutely crazy but can be a turn off if you use too much.

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  • In our society (US, Western) guys are raised to be 'Macho' and 'Manly', and some, sadly, are taught to hate on guys that express a 'feminine side', not necessarily being gay, but appreciating art, fashion, and things that are typically seen, in PAST GENERATIONS, as "Woman things!"
    That 'Programming' kind of messes up relationships with modern women, who are asserting their equality!! What a mess!!
    A lot of guys are really unsure, nervous, and maybe a little freaked out, with the idea of things that women take for granted, like shopping!
    She likes him, and wants to try things on, and see what he likes seeing her wear. Easy, simple, logical ideal!! Makes sense to her, doesn't it?
    But the guy hears something different, and thinks 'girly stuff' and he is going to miss some game!!
    ONLY a woman could sell it, and make it so simple!! One I dated just said, "Let's go shopping and I want to see what you like, and get something that turns you on, and then let's see what happens, later..."
    Ok, I don't mind holding your purse, then!! :) :) Maybe we can stop by that store with the little things. . .
    Short answer: A lot of guys were raised by the past generations, that there should be a 'separation' of sorts, and any guy that says something like, "That is a really cute skirt!" must be something 'unmanly'!!!
    Thankfully, it is changing, but dreadfully slow!!!
    Then there are other guys that totally accept it, and share just about anything, with her, PRIVATELY, but would be MORTIFIED if anyone, their Guy friends, knew!!
    I think the old BS needs to go, and be history!! I'm not saying I want her to bring home some flowery Duvee thing, or bed-ruffle, as I am not even sure what those are!! But I would listen, if there was a need for these! :) :)
    The 'Bashing' is just a guy defense mechanism to pretend he doesn't really like it, for the reasons above!

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  • So many useless opinions...
    Anyway.
    There as some things to break down.
    One is makeup.
    The second is clothes.
    The third is jewelry.
    For a man, the ultimate source of female beauty is the female body itself. No, I don't mean your face doesn't matter. I mean that your very material, skin and body self is what interests them.
    As such:
    Makeup will be attractive to guys if it is:
    a) Obvious, but tasteful - it shows an artistic talent.
    b) "natural" makeup.
    In the first case makeup is not used to cover up mistakes, but add to the face as a whole.
    In the second case, they just fall for it, because they think you are naturally like that.
    When guys see makeup that is obvious, but is obviously meant to paint a completely new face, they feel like it is fake, and are repulsed.

    Clothes: again, it doesn't really matter as long as it accentuates your body's natural shape.

    Jewelry: It is purely a matter of taste. It does nothing for me, but some guys like it. The only kind of jewelry that I personally like seeing on women is a nice necklace. A beautiful neckline is probably one of the most attractive features of a woman in an everyday conversation, and if you can accessorize it well, that's always a plus. Double plus for chokers.
    But when I see things like this: cf.girlsaskguys.com/.../...e-972d-55f5f148f013.jpg
    Well, this is just too much.
    And I know you posted this picture, that is why I used it.
    So just to clarify, THIS looks alright:
    cf.girlsaskguys.com/.../...f-b3f3-1611018595eb.jpg
    Because it is subtle.
    Ultimately, I think guys in general value subtlety and simplicity. I certainly do. THIS does nothing for me for example:
    image.dhgate.com/albu_399889311_00/1.0x0.jpg
    While THIS is attractive for me:
    ae01.alicdn.com/.../...lace-Dainty-Circle-Gift.jpg

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  • Feminine women are very different from men. Feminine/girly things like those you listed emphasize the differences women have with men, which can be intimidating to guys. And to be frank, most guys today are pussies who are afraid of the unknown rather than embracing it. They'd rather have something more similar to themselves, something they understand, rather than having and appreciating something different from themselves. That's the appeal that a tomboy girl has with guys - they're not afraid of her because they understand her. She's cool. She's easy to talk to.

    Older and more confident men will typically go for the feminine/girly girls because they aren't afraid of them or intimidated by them and because they embrace the differences women have with themselves. Younger guys will look at them and secretly desire them, but they'll be too afraid to approach and connect with them. So they resort to shaming and such to convince girls to not be feminine, making them less 'scary' and more approachable. I've seen this play out too many times to count in my years of dating.

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  • Because girls don’t do it *for them*.

    It’s like I was discussing with you, the different characters on here and how you can see through them. 90% of those who froth at the mouth in anger would absolutely melt and change their tune if a girl ever paid them any attention. If a girl who dolls up did it... they wouldn’t know what to do and run away lol.

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  • *Your* definition of femininity is not the same as what *other* men’s concept of femininity may be.

    Some guys including me like girls with nail polish, high heels, long hair etc.

    Some of these aren’t even considered ‘feminine’ in some cultures, so most of these are social construct

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  • [Straight] Men don't rag on makeup if it is worn by the right person, aka women. When other men wear it, it creates cognitive dissonance and often creates psychological conflict. An element of women applied to another man can create confusion, which is why straight men strongly dislike wearing it or seeing gay men wear it.

    But, that's probably not what you're referring to, is it? You're probably talking about when men bash women for wearing makeup. Well, it's another case of Not All, but the ones that do often emphasis SMV or sexual market value: what makeup does is increase a women's physical appearance (and, therefore, attractiveness), allowing them to climb the sexual market ladder, even as they get older, by artificially presenting as younger. In effect, it is gaming the system, giving women a tactical advantage when it comes to dating--something which is simply off-limits for most men. Men have to earn their SMV the hard way: earning lots of money, working out a lot, accruing a large social network, or all of the above. Some men can get by just on looks, but because of the fact that they are all viewed--to some extent--as "the provider", that will not be enough.

    You will rarely see a woman complaining that another woman is wearing too much makeup (or any) when she is with a man, because of an implicit acknowledgment that some element of the women beyond what comes in the package was alluring to the man.

    TL;DR Some men bash the effects of makeup, because it can easily allow the wearer (usually women) to look more appealing than they actually are and thus increase their value to whatever sex they are interested in, and men simply don't have this option

    P. S. I predict there will at least one or two angry women in the comment section about how my opinion is misogynistic or sexist, which is just a deflection against the fact that I'm bluntly stating the situation for what it is and some people don't want that kind of information out in the open--despite that PUA communities and The Red Pill community have been talking about this for year--but I digress. Calling it... now

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  • I don't know why because I'm in that number who's a huge, huge fan of all those girly girl touches. A woman who has gone to all the trouble to add those girly touches is telling me that she values her femininity and wants to do all she can to look her very best. There's nothing sexier that a very feminine woman who's an assertive, accomplished professional and a willing submissive with a masochistic streak in bed. I've been with lots of them and they are amazing women.

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  • I don't know why that is. I love a girly girl that sort of thing seems to be in short supply these days. A man should be there to protect his girly girl. Just my instinct. But there is a happy medium. I don't want her incapable of doing anything tough. Lol

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  • well as a guy of course i like when girls wear dress and makeup etc but most guys want to be able to show the girl they like that they are truly beautiful to them and not just because of the makeup or anything artificial that the girl truly means something to them personality-wise and emotionlly. Us guys don’t ever want our girls to feel like they are ugly because to us they never are.

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  • Some guys have different types whereas women all like the same thing lol

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  • The only time I don't like girly or feminine things is when it has to do with other guys. But in regards to women I have no issues.

    For instance I have nothing agaisnt makeup so long as it's not overdone, and is used correctly.

    Anything in excess or overdone can be bad that includes normally good things.

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  • "What i mean is on here you often hear men saying that they like women who do NOT wear any makeup"
    Blatantly that is a personal preference some people have. There are actually only a few make up styles that actually looks good to me. But for the most part I will think you actually look better or more attractive without it. (if anything make up hides once natural femininity)
    "Don't dress up (wear dresses, skirts)"
    I actually like when girls try out new outfits. Skirts dresses and stuff. Though if a guy wants her to go on adventures he may prefer pants/shorts.
    "wear jewelry,"
    I see some of the appeal. It can make a outfit look much better.

    "get there nails done"
    I feel like this is a small contribution in the outfits and probably isn't worth the extra effort/prep time. But I won't complain.

    " dislike heels etc... "
    I never understood the appeal of heels, aside from "oh I can walk gracefully even in these abominations."

    "this is all part of the appearance of a feminine women."
    At least the rituals of a feminine girl. And I do like them when pulled off off well and harmonized. But I also am attracted to a feminine looking woman who doesn't do all of this.
    Femininity to me isn't looking dainty and perfect, it isn't flaunting one's beauty, it is making a look that, not sure how to describe it, that flows. Why is long hair and dresses commonly associated with feminity? Because it flows.
    Why are jewelry especially danglely jewelry feminine because it accentuates movements.
    Feminity isn't hiding what is wrong, it isn't the clothes, it is highlighting what is good and accentuating specific aspects of looks and movements.

    That's my take on it.

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  • Unless it's the same guys saying it, it doesn't mean much.

    I commonly say I don't like makeup. But I also don't like too girly.

    Plus, something like makeup is very different than things like nails, heels, etc. It doesn't have to be all or none.

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  • I don't think femininity is about the clothes you wear. I think men just like an all-natural, feminine beauty. Long hair, soft skin, feminine silhouette, etc. I think it's a bit silly to say that you can't love femininity and not like heels, make-up, etc, because those things aren't what make a girl feminine

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  • Usually its used to bash someone else, like another guys tendencies. But to directly bash it, it's more about not understanding why, even though we appreciate the outcome of the why, as in, how good a woman looks after using makeup or doing yoga or getting a facial...

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  • I think too much of that stuff can cause an opposite affect that drives guys away. Like too much makeup/ spray tan, talon like nails and so on. Also High heels are just impractical and painful, although they can be sexy.

    Personally aside from what I just listed, I love girls looking really feminine but I also really don't mind the other look.

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  • 1. Personally, I prefer naturally beautiful girls, with no makeup, or just a little bit of natural looking cosmetics (e. g face powder, concealer, foundation etc).
    2. I like sporty & casual & tomboyish type of girls, that's why I don't like dresses, skirts, heels and other stuff like that.
    3. I don't bash feminine things because I don't believe in gender roles, femininity and masculinity are just a social construct.
    My type of woman is a modern Amazon, not some girly girl.

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  • Those guys are the guys that don't really know what they are talking about they try to convey this super nice guy attitude and maybe feel like girls will like them for it or something but that's my take on it. I love when girls do all those girly and feminine things not all the time but sometimes its good to do everything in moderation someday I want my baby to where no make up and some days I want too look her sexist but as long as she's happy I'm happy just wish I had a girl to call baby lol

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  • Me personally I think that girls who wear too much makeup or fancy clothes and jewelry that they're trying too hard and not being their real selves. I wouldn't mind it if we're going out to eat somewhere fancy like a restaurant once in awhile but just not on a regular basis.

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What Girls Said 48

  • They like femininity, but they don’t like prissy or high maintenance. The two are often confused and sometimes even used synonymously.

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  • Nah this is definitely a thing. Guys oogle girls who are 'put together' makeup, shoes, outfit, nails, hair on fleek and then bash them when they realize how much effort she puts into looking that way. It's hypocritical to enjoy the outcome without respecting the process.

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  • because they assort it with high maintenace or don't understand the thought and effort to look "feminine".

    I laugh when I hear a guy say they don't like make-up but obviously go for girls who put on make-up, or think that nude make-up is no make up

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  • I honestly don't know why some men don't like women wearing makeup, feminine clothing and accessories. I'm fortunate enough that my boyfriend loves it when I get dressed up for him when we go out, he tells me when he thinks that I look pretty or he likes the way my perfume smells or the dress that I'm wearing for the occasion. He also gets a kick out of messing up my makeup when he kisses me, smearing my lipstick all over the place. LOL It's hilarious and I enjoy it.

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  • They've been taught that doing feminine things themselves is "gay" which is "shameful" when a lot of things considered feminine shouldn't even be gendered.

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  • Sometimes guys don't realize how much work it is sometimes to look good, when you just want to get fat and not shave all week😆 And then there are girls who take "girly" stuff over the top which annoys me too and I am a girl ( like too much makeup, too much perfume, ridiculous trends , clothing etc).

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  • When is femininity linked to wearing:

    Jewellery - men also wear it
    Makeup - men wear it too
    Dresses - in the past everyone did
    Heels - they were actually made for men

    The essence of feminity is not how you can make yourself feminine BUT that you are feminine in your DNA encoding. Nothing can ever change it. It was chosen at the moment of conception.

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    • I mostly agree, though would debate femininity and masculinity are exemplified by behaviours and preferences according to how the majority define these terms at the time. These behaviours and preferences can be learned through cultural interaction, for example you see a beautiful woman who is beautiful and doing the things she listed, you want to feel beautiful and mimic her to do so, which exemplifies your femininity by wearing dresses that show off your skin, make up that shows off your beautiful face, heels to show off your ass and make you easier to kiss, and jewelry to... yeah, you got me on that one, I don't care much for jewelry on both men and women.

      I'd personally add getting nails done to this list, men already do it, and tbh I wouldn't mind doing it, I feel like having painted nails would be cool af.

    • Show All
    • Everything I stated has nothing to do with the xneoestrogens affects on the embryo. The sex is determined in the womb whether female or male, but some people are born with both male and female genitals too then they have to decide if they are going to be a male or female or both. Whether a person is gay or straight is learned not decided in the womb.

    • @Warmapplecrumble so are you saying you are more than just a mere human? You put me down for being a mere human. So you know everthing about humans and the whole universe. That is what you where stating. Talk about ego.

  • I've seen this rarely,
    One, in situation where girls thing being girly girl is acting dumb,
    Two, when acting girly makes them act superficial.
    Three, when a guy likes nerds because they do some boyish stuffs and want girls that share more boyish stuffs

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  • They don’t hate that exactly, depends on how over the top it is and the examples you’ve used aren’t the only things that qualify as girly.

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  • Girly fans bash tomboys and vice versa but who cares, just live your life as you want to.

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  • I don't have a problem with this. I love all those girly stuff and I know that my man will definitely love this side of me. I mean, why would he even love me if it isn't for everything about me?

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  • Maybe cause they can't see themselves or other guys being feminine. They don't like it. Some of them may think that guys should stay like guys and girls should stay like girls. I think the stereotype of girls being weaker than guys comes into play as well.

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  • I don't know but i think that femininity isn't the same thing as being a girly girl. I think they like the submissive and nurturing nature rather than the high maintenance and superficial women.

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  • Mayne it sounds strange but could it be that some guys have diffrent taste? Nah I have no idea whay are we talking about

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  • Well, girls like masculinity (when it relates to men) yet they bash things that are masculine.

    They're attracted to feminine girls, doesn't mean they're gonna be into feminine things.

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  • Because those men can't obtain those types of women. What they can obtain is a plain woman who does little with her appearance.

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  • The guys who bash it are mostly losers who can't get girls, so they take shots at girls in any way they can out of spite.

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  • They love it when we dressed up and have our make up on. I think guys are just generally sexist and try belittle women even though they love everything thing about us.

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  • Men are arroused visually, and what they speak of they don’t notice when they see it in real life.

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  • They like femininity for the qualities of the lady they love. They bash it when it gets in the way of their balance.

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