Why is it unacceptable for guys to have standards? (Page 2)

Question

I recently broke up with my girlfriend because she was getting fat. I am a monster right? My family and some of my lost friends seem to think so. Even though I go to gym and keep myself in shape it's unacceptable to expect her to do the same. Why? I have seen some of my friends getting rejected for being short and another said he was laughed at for his 5.5 inch penis (which is average by the way). Why is it only acceptable for women to have standards and not men? This really makes me think that the mgtow crowd has a point. End of rant I guess, still extremely frustrating

AdamRexy · Answer

In the end, it's not right for anyone to be unfairly judgmental. However standards are okay. If you prefer a certain shape or personality, that's all you. But if you didn't put any effort into letting her know it bothered you a bit and just abruptly ended it, then yeah it's a bit out of order.

It's okay man I get it, this stuff isn't easy but it's who we are. If she's not the person you started with, then yeah it is what it is. Hope this helped, best of luck man.

neurolove · Answer

Standards are good for anyone. Just don't marry someone and then expect to hold them to your fitness standard after the fact. Find your equal before getting serious so that you don't hurt people who can't live up to your expectation.

Anonymous · Answer

equality! you know 🤣

ok seriously, ad1
the standards we have differs from theirs. they look for hot body and great resources and prestige. we look for hot body and youth. most think if they earn good or have higher status that would mean aaaanything... eg. that they can eat and lay. and act like a btch. maybe want to settle down at 60. couldnt be further from the truth.

ad2 the fact that your not attracted to a full blown landwhale MUST BE a byproduct of the horrible patriarchy. 🤣 no chance its coming from 20million years of evolution OR godforbid by the capability to see and feel.
dont mind it. if accused: improvise, adapt, overcome 😁

candycanehearts · Answer

The girls who rejected ur friends for that r jerks, just cause some girls (or guys) are jerks doesn't mean u should be, she probably already feels terrible about her wait u could of just said u werent interested anymore

Ellie-V · Answer

Well... you chose her as a GIRLFRIEND. As in, very temporary, when the going gets tough—you just go👀
Are you a monster? No. You just have no business in a long term relationship and there is nothing wrong with that.

Anonymous · Answer

I can't see why it would be a problem. I don't care whether someone isn't into me cause I'm too short, too pale, cause they want F+ boobs, a bimbo type or anything. If you're not into me, you're just not for me. Tbh, I happen to love blue/green eyes, blonde hair, pale skin and the short/athletic kinda men. So I have criteria. People can judge me for that. But you know what? It's not my problem. I feel good being true to my real self and not trying to live up to people's expectations.

CasaNorba · Answer

we mgtows (and thanks for bringing us up) have a saying that goes

"getting married for sex is like buying a first class ticket just for peanuts"

or something like that. now think about how many airlines would lose money and possibly go bankrupt if we men all decided to have standards and refuse to waste all of our money on cheap peanuts.

JSmuve · Answer

Fuck that. If you can't picture yourself asking her out on a date in her current physical and mental state, why would you continue dating her? Standards are there for a reason. If she dips below them because of laziness or whatever, you're well within reason to dip the fuck out.

jerijay · Answer

Because you made her fat. She wasn't fat when she wasn't with you

Anonymous · Answer

Nope it's a fair point. I'd do the same if I gave her multiple chances. I guess the key thing is how did you break it off. Did you just say "ew get yo Tess Holiday looking arse out of my life" or did you say that "I don't want to leave you but this, it hurts me that you don't care how I feel and I don't want to see you eat yourself into an early grave" that's why I said to my ex and she tried because she was a little more apologetic than yours seems to be.

MrFluff · Answer

It is cool to have standards. You SHOULD have standards as a man.
BUT leaving her for gaining weight is nothing to do with you have standards or not. You didn't love her. So you left her. End of Story. If you love her you accept not everyone is like yourself, so yeah you just want a barbie next to you. The problem here that you try to look for excuses (i have standards) why you left her. You dont want people bullshiting you about things yet you do the same.

Under_Maps_OF_twigs · Answer

I've never knew it was unacceptable. I have many standards but it's not for selfish reasons. If I can't spiritually grow with a woman, then I won't continue with her no matter what she looks like and I won't concede and give in to peer pressure to try making it work out. My relationships are my own, not up for debate with how others feel they ought to go.

GreatnessBack · Answer

Where did you get that BS from?
If someone doesn't like your standards, then tell them to go fuck themselves because they're not fucking you. lol.

I think why people get butt hurt is because chicks get fat for lots of reasons like pregnancy, which is a temporary fat gain really, but her reasons were not good enough.

Pizza_lover159 · Answer

Because people expect men to f#ck whatever cow he sees. And women got really sensitive. And honestly. Im disgusted by this Fat acceptance movement

Crocuta_Hyaenidae · Answer

If health and fitness are important to you, that is perfectly fair, and you sure don't seem to be hypocritical about it.

You can have whatever standards you want, no-one is owed your affections or your time.

It's up to you to decide what you want in a mate.

7Roses · Answer

I think its only rude if you didn't tell/warn her. If I were you i would say "hey you should work on yourself a bit more often, we could go to the gym together." You can say it to her in a way that isn't rude. Explaining that you prefer her sexually when she is thinner etc. If she doesn't stop i'd have a harsher talk with her.

Skateranon · Answer

I'm not gonna blame you for this I've seen women break up with men because of loosing their job, penis size, muscle mass, height and a bunch of other things.

I personally wouldn't break up with my girlfriend if she gained weight but then again her and I are a special case. Funilly enough we joke around that if I had a tiny penis she says"for you I'd put up with it" and we just laugh.

Anonymous · Answer

To each their own. I think it is okay for anybody to have standards. However some people let the opinions of others effect them and their lives. At the end, you are the only one being effected by the decisions you make. Don't let anybody make decisions for you in which they will not be effected by the outcome.

Anonymous · Answer

If she doesn't put in the effort to keep you, let her put in the effort to find someone new. Women love to say "if you really loved her..." but what about "if she really loved you?"

Seems that a lot of people use love as an excuse to quit trying. If you want to accept that the more you love someone, the less effort they're gonna put in, then go for it. Just understand what comes with that territory.

Anonymous · Answer

That’s not having standards. That’s just not genuinely loving it acting for a person. Doesn’t sound like you were bothered enough to look for more of a solution first. And NO, I would not ditch my guy if he lost his job. Not everyone is so narcissistic.

Anonymous · Answer

I agree but that reflects on them and not you.

I have seen many female freinds get fat and unattractive a lot. All won't do anything about it but fake own it. Then get pissed when the same hot guys won't date them.

That was a couple issue that never got worked out. You two broke up cause she would not work on herself and compermise with you. Not just cause she was fat.

lifesaver_9 · Answer

Because most women’s standards are based off of personality. Even ugly guys get good looking girls as long as he’s sympathetic, funny, and a good guy. That isn’t superficial.

What IS superficial is when someone breaks up or devalues someone just because of their looks. Whether it’s a man or a woman.

Also it’s superficial if a girl breaks up with a guy only because he can’t keep up with her materialism.

numerouno85 · Answer

I think its a very small percentage of people in both genders who are like you and the women you described. In my opinion Men tend to think they can get more than they really can because of inflated egos and women tend to underestimate who they can attract due to self esteem issue.

dropkicknj13 · Answer

I think the issue is that you were already with her when she fell below the standards, if you refused to date her from the beginning because of standards people wouldn't have a problem.

devilman666 · Answer

I don't know, but I feel your pain. There are quite a few sexisms like this that hurt men, yet some (more radical) feminists seem to want to stop these issues from getting out to the attention of the media.

Anonymous · Answer

There's a difference between standards in picking someone and being in a relationship. As you were in a relationship you can't have really cared that much to dump her over that which makes things skin deep
As for the 5.5 inch, that is average. Are you sure they weren't laughing at his techniques in the bedroom? As same with women, some men are just had in bed

Itssssonlyyymeee · Answer

Hmm, I guess I’m a monster too? I don’t see it as a bad thing. Unless you never talked to her about it..

Sweetheart64 · Answer

I think you like what you like. Not blaming you for breaking up with her but usually there is an underlying factor besides weight gain. Breaking up with someone because of weight gain is usually an excuse not the factor.

The_coolest · Answer

I wish guys with some standards existed more... Usually it's enough for them having a vagina

Whaaaaa · Answer

I highly doubt you broke up with her because she was getting fat. You lost feelings for her and needed an excuse. But, if you fell in love with her and fell out of love because of some fat then yeah you’re a dick.

anuragk033 · Answer

You can have your standards bro no objection but you may regret your decisions love is a beyond standards and you can't have true love like this if... You're really looking for someone to love 😊 but whatever you're doing it isn't love

Lance1965 · Answer

It is a double standard. If a guy dumps a girl over standards he is a jerk but if a woman dumps a guy for whatever reason it is fair enough.

JMghow · Answer

Dating is not owed to women, and they drop us for nothing even in marriage. They may not like being dump, but that doesn't mean it's not fair or somehow wrong. Your life, your choice.

GenericUsername176 · Answer

I’d say it is completely fine. Most people here seem to say that you didn’t really love her, but I think that’s bullshit.

You are not shallow like the majority of the responses here say. You just care about physical appearance, and that’s completely valid.

shybambi · Answer

You didn’t really love her.. you liked her for her appearance

Anonymous · Answer

I think you should go for a woman who takes care of herself indeed. You get fat for a baby though

smg99 · Answer

You’re right it’s not unfair or unjust in your logical rational.

Anonymous · Answer

you did right thing!!! They are womens you can't understand them. You need to be super ripped and smart tall intelligent and rich but when it comes to them, they can eat all day and be fat. No girls big nono. If you want to date guy like that you should put more effort in there. If ur poor ugly fat bitchy girl, find some guy who is the same

Max_SS · Answer

Nothing wrong with that. You have respect for yourself and you should keep it that way. Haters gonna hate

tonicandgin · Answer

Not really. It's kind of hard to get off on someone you're not attracted too.

motownplayer2000 · Answer

I don’t understand it either... it’s a crazy thing.. but at the end of the day... stick to what you believe. Women love to nitpick, and say he’s ain’t shit because if such and such... those women aren’t worth your time

sedrftvgyhujik · Answer

It's not,
Though it's kind of nasty to break up with someone because they gained weight unless theirs an associated reason like there now encouraging you to eat more or if its resulting in performance issues or comes with a personality change.

TsubasaCorrupted · Answer

It's fine to have standards. But there is a difference between preference, and just leaving someone because they gained weight, which is natural anyways. Doing that simply makes you an asshole.

Hanzyxw · Answer

Well if she was a good person then you did wrong she can lose wait become amazing and find a better person

MlleCake · Answer

Your body is going to change too. You will appreciate having a partner who accepts you as you change.

lovemyirishman · Answer

Well u dont know she was doing what she was doing  It could had been because of stress Depression Or anything else

winniethepoah · Answer

Looks like she dodged a bullet but you breaking up with her. How fat did she get?

HereIbe · Answer

So long as you are up-front from the beginning and tell her on or before the first date that her weight IS a BIG FUCKING DEAL for you and you WILL dump her ass off a cliff if she isn't a hardbody, there's nothing wrong with it.

Cask23 · Answer

Don't let the SJWs and their all shapes and sizes of women are beautiful crap run you life. Good for you for dumping her when she plumped up. If she's doing that now while dating just imagine how out of control it would become if you got married.

Shogun48 · Answer

I understand, it's just another one of societies things that can't change. I think it's perfectly fine to have standards, you should be able to love someone who you are attracted to. You're not a monster my man

passinby · Answer

Cause we ain't shyt and we are not the selectors but rather the selectees.

Anonymous · Answer

If your friends were rejected before they started dating those girls, I’m pretty sure it’s fine, though it’s a little mean of those girls. If they were dating those girls already, it’s unreasonable. A relationship is meant to be a promise, and I think you shouldn’t expect a person to stay the same after you start dating them.

jessture · Answer

Women have a laundry list of standards for men, yet heaven forbid a man has even a fraction of the standards.  You made a difficult but mature choice. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise

LeoElias · Answer

Mgtow is basically a sexless life. If you just want to bitch all the time then join that group and be sure to never talk to a girl again unless it's you bitching to her

Blueeyes81 · Answer

Because it hits home to a lot of women. Most people gain weight with age. It's a fact of life. At the end of the day everyone wants to be loved regardless of their flaws.

FýrdracaDócincel · Answer

It's not unacceptable. It's just very frowned upon. That's why the lord Liam Neeson gave us a sense of humor.. .. .. so we can laugh at other people's frowns.

Tomblebee · Answer

What you were really feeling was a lack of effort from her to remain attractive to you.

Anonymous · Answer

It's not. Your friends and family had a go at you for other reasons. I wouldn't be surprised if one of them was your inability to listen or handle criticism.

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

Everyone should know it's their own fault why they're fat. It's not a man's fault if they have a small dick and short. Some girls still reject those guys. Just saying.

Why is it unacceptable for guys to have standards? (Page 2)

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