Do shy people ever come off as rude to you?

Question

I feel like some people probably think I'm rude because of this...

sapphire3506 · Accepted Answer

I always hear about how people say "they thought I was rude because I'm shy" yet I've never thought that of a shy person. While I'm shy and socially anxious myself, people say they find me intimidating but I don't think they've ever called me rude

AmandaYVR · Accepted Answer

I don't typically think this, but my husband thinks it's what extroverts think of introverts... that they see it as hositility, not shyness.

ArrowheadSW · Accepted Answer

Some people mistake shyness for rudeness or "standoffishness". A lot of the time the person is just shy and they don't mean to come across that way at all.

Dolemite510 · Accepted Answer

I can usually tell the difference between shy and someone just being a dick 😂

StingRayxoxo · Answer

Sometimes! People have said that about me too.

SuperManiac · Answer

Not to me so much since I had my shy phase as a teen and so I can usually recognize the difference between shy and unfriendly. Plus it has taught me to be more reluctant to judge whether someone is unfriendly or just shy until I gather more information. That said, while I can empathize, a shy person can still be rather difficult to talk to, so I might not be so eager making an attempt to talk to a shy person for long periods of time. But I at least wouldn't jump to the conclusion that they're rude.

Dongtai · Answer

I’m not shy I’m sorta reserved which some see as shy. Let’s just say quiet. Quiet people.

Ok. People usually assume I’m rude, mean or stuck up because I don’t go out of my way to make conversation. I’ll become outgoing based on who I’m with. Like my close friends. Especially women. But by default I’ve never been the type to be in everyone’s face.

People just assume I’m mean or something. I have no idea why. I’m the funniest, kindest, coolest and probably the smartest person you’d ever meet. But most people just don’t give off that vibe that makes me want to meet them.

On average, most people talk about nothing important or intellectual. I’m drawn to deep conversations or important topics. If you’re taking about the new car you bought or gossip about your coworker, it’s not going to draw me into the conversation. If I’m attracted to a woman I’ll go up to her and speak because we won’t be introduced otherwise.

So. Do I seem rude?

ChiTown33 · Answer

I imagine they can if the person doesn't know that you're shy. But there is a possibility the person is just rude and shy.
If a shy person is afraid of interaction with people that's one thing. But some just simply expect others to put in all the work and that something else entirely. Rejection is a part of life. And you never know ( people aren't wearing signs) which person is going to be worth the energy. you put forth. I'm a natural introvert as well i'd rather have 10 good friends than 100 acquaintances. But l'm a firm believer god put us hete to interact and help each other so i figjt my natural inclination to keep to myself.

Anonymous · Answer

This triggered my anxiety. If taking can make people upset, but not talking makes them upset also, is just being around someone enough to make them upset? Is existing in the same space all it takes?

My voice physically can't come out when I'm around somoene new. Its a problem and I need to fix it, but the fear that I'll have an opinion or say something they don't agree with can upsetting them stops me in my tracks. If I know someone, I know what not to talk about or say. New people are like land mines: Say one wrong thing and you've made yourself an enemy.

If not saying anything to someone also makes them mad, then the only option left is to avoid that person. Then they can't be mad by something you did. Or will this also make them mad?

There is no winning.

Astrid_18 · Answer

I chose "Sometimes they do" cuz I'm one of the shy people. Often mistaken as a b*tch.

To be honest, it is rude to ignore or avoid them and where poker face, but it can't be helped. That's normal for people who are shy cuz' they either don't know what to say or do.

I won't say that it is not rude cuz it is. But, it should not matter if we are. It is actually helpful to identify people who'd easily judge you or has a mean personality and makes you have friends who are actually understanding. It's also nice that they get to leave you alone so you can just chill.

That's just my opinion. Again, it shouldn't matter.

Izumiblu · Answer

Well I hear this all the time. People that aren’t shy often don’t understand why the shy person is being quiet. They can chalk it up to rudeness when they don’t understand the motivation for the person to be quiet.

It’s a social anxiety keeping the person from talking when they otherwise might talk instead of rudeness.

Swat_ · Answer

I am not shy, just awful with people, but I'll tell you one thing: "no one cares".

I am working on socializing, but when I make a mistake it haunts me for a long time. The thing is though, most people probably ignored it or forgot about it. In their world, you are not the center of attention.

The same thing applies with shyness. If you don't speak a lot or said something stupid, no one cares.

It's a really effective method to become more tollerant to what you say or do.

Anonymous · Answer

depends cuz i have really bad social anxiety and always get mistaken for being shy (huge difference between the two!!!) however when i see a shy person, i usually don't think of them as rude since shyness can, won't always but can, turn into social anxiety

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I was very shy in high school and a lot of people thought I was stuck up cause I was very pretty so they didn't know why I was so insecure but it was because I had a jealous mother who told me I was ugly and stupid and fat and worthless every day

Clo917 · Answer

To me, no. But I'm also a shy person so I assume they're the same way unless they're displaying clearly rude behavior. I've been told I seem very unapproachable before though, I'm not sure if that's cause I'm shy or what.

Sensmind · Answer

I know exactly what you are talking about because I am very quiet - Just try and be aware of anyone getting hurt ready to say "Don't worry, it's just me, I am very shy/quiet"

BestUserName100 · Answer

And they probably think you are rude tbh because you are trying to make them do something they aren’t comfortable with doing and wouldn’t do with anyone so shouldn’t take it personal. Some people gotta realize that not everyone is the same.

Jjpayne · Answer

I think it's important to try and talk to people, even if it's not much. But there are many people that sit silently by themselves too

Nicolette777 · Answer

Yes sometimes if they don’t smile, but most shy people smile awkwardly so I know they don’t mean anything by it.

naijagurl · Answer

Sometimes they do. Not necessarily because they’re shy but because sometimes when they don’t want to talk they just brush people off.

BluesheepOwl · Answer

Not always. I find them kind of annoying. Like it's extra work for me to talk to you and honestly not worth it to me. I'd rather talk to someone where it's a two way road

Curmudgeon · Answer

What is sad is that they often do come across that way, even though in reality they are anything but that.

Anonymous · Answer

Sometimes they do if they get defensive rather than vulnerable. I’ve been like that at times when I’ve felt drained and just wanted to have time to myself no matter how much I tried to be sociable and failed.

Shamalien · Answer

if i didn't have any shyness in certain situations myself i may think so, but I always worry people are thinking im rude when i simply don't know what to say and am thinking, or have nothing to say that wouldn't offend them, so I just don' t speak.

TurtleTamer · Answer

I used to have a girlfriend who was why hated to talk infornt of people and when ever we went on dates she would just leave 10 mins after it started and I eventualy had to break up with her

Zachpat3213 · Answer

I have anxiety and depression on top of my shyness so when I don’t want to hang out with people or talk to them, then they probably think I’m ignoring them or don’t care for them. I’ll never know since I’ve got too much going on internally.

Horror_lover · Answer

Some people will assume I'm a stuck up until they find out that I'm extremely shy.

SjE78 · Answer

not really but some can but it really depends on their actual attitude not their overall shyness

coolbreeze · Answer

No because they just come off as shy and timid but it's understandable.

GhostMochi · Answer

I feel like people think I'm rude since I'm shy and socially awkward with another list of 99 social interaction problems.

Quidthonian · Answer

Why is it rude when someone tells you the truth without sugar-coating? A shy person wants to say or do what they need to and get out of the situation. That is not rude, that is efficient!

InTimoreDei · Answer

Loud and obnoxious people are the rude ones not shy folk

GuidoThePizzaMaker · Answer

I am rude af, but its because I dont like talking to people so yeah  (A)

Anonymous · Answer

I have always been shy around new people. Many times in my life I have come across as a snob.  It’s social anxiety

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Yes , i believe cause I'm real shy that i come off as unfriendly and trust me i am far from it.

God-vs-Satan · Answer

Sometimes maybe but because they struggle what to say and when they finally do, tend to say the wrong things.

blondfrog · Answer

That's more like people giving you the cold shoulder intentionally. I thought of shy as more of a personality due to anxiety or nervousness.

JimboGB · Answer

No, either very cute or insecure. I know that doesn't necessarily mean she is, but is one signal they can exude.

AcidT0y · Answer

I often see people mistake my friend's shyness for rudeness. It's an easy mistake to make if you don't know the person I guess.

naraku · Answer

Probably do since they're too shy to act naturally around whomever.

keshainlove · Answer

I just think of them as approachable since I’m a more outgoing person.

Justsmile_ · Answer

I do come off as rude to people or just very awkward

Anonymous · Answer

Sometimes it looks like they are because of the shyness

Anonymous · Answer

I come off as rude because u have anxiety and the grocery store was packed and I dont like when people are behind me and that kind of stuff

Slim57 · Answer

Probably who cares. Talkative people are ALWAYS rude

Joker_ · Answer

When shy people are rude, they are rude

HomerJSimpson · Answer

I'm shy and I don't wanna reply..

Nayrr · Answer

I've never thought that of a shy person

AdrenaLynx · Answer

Yes, and I am the shy one

DDpsy · Answer

I can be perfectly rude without needing to be shy.

Smf1989 · Answer

I've never thought that of a shy person

bklynbadboy1 · Answer

I never think that about shy people

GreenGold1992 · Answer

how? I'm shy but I'm not rude to others

Razal · Answer

Shy are not rude. Rude people are rude.

CT_CD · Answer

Shy people are rude

NovissimumVirorum · Answer

You're rude

Wowgirl30q · Answer

No not at all😀

JesseTheMan · Answer

Definitely

BronzedAdonis · Answer

Occasionally

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