Do you think gold-diggers, manipulators and users can change for the better?

Question

Can such a person be capable of ever changing, do a full 180? Or is this a permanent flaw and they'll always be a rotten person till they die? Are they redeemable?

dhinchak · Accepted Answer

This is going to be a long answer. I'll call the group of people being called out here as 'the Sam', and I'll use this name in the gender-neutral sense to avoid he/she and replacing those with they/them/their wherever required. So, here goes:

I believe everyone can change in due course of time given the right influence. Deep down the Sam become who they are because they failed in life at some point so badly that they just wanted to run away from it. And in their desperation to get away from that failure, they subconsciously chose to be one or more of the personalities listed in question.

We need to understand that all of those behaviours are basically survival skills which they cultivated or acquired because they were unable to do the things the way society wanted them to. Yes, in doing so the Sam hurt countless people, but in their view those people were unable to compete with them in their skill-set just like the Sam wasn't able to compete with them in the contemporary skills.

For them to change, the Sam need to be accepted for who they are without being judged for what they do. What I mean here is not forgiveness, but tolerance like - you are what you are, and it's ok. Selfless love and acceptance does miracles and I've witnessed this firsthand.

Their redemption comes from being truthful to the one who accepts them. I know what y'all are thinking - we've done that and it didn't matter. Well, my guess is you did that without knowing who the Sam really were, and you only knew them the way that they wanted you to. It works only if you know who The Sam really are underneath, and then accept that personality.

The Sam are really vulnerable, and they're afraid of being exposed because it will bring them back to the failure they are running from. Once you acknowledge their vulnerability and make them feel safe, they will genuinely try to change as their skill-set will be rendered useless in this scenario - You can't con someone who knows they're being conned, right?

So there you go, that's my unpopular and confusing-as-hell opinion on this.

ohshee · Accepted Answer

Here is the best thing about life, when we are born we are given a gift, thst is more powerful than love it's self, it's the gift of
CHOICE,,, NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE IN LIFE, NO MATTER WHAT YOU ARE TOUGHT GROWING UP, some parents teach hate. Some parents teach manipulation some parents teach greed. But no matter what you're taught growing up you becoming age where you understand you get to choose who you want to be in life and the things you say and do it's your choice to take one step in front of the other it's your choice to love somebody it's your choice to help somebody it's your choice to give to somebody it's your choice no matter what you do or who you are there comes a point in life where it's your choice you can't blame anybody anymore it's your choice who you're going to be. Yes I think anybody can become anything and do anything they want because it's their choice

BlackBeauty90 · Accepted Answer

@celinebv Rarely. Just as how it's hard for a thief to stop stealing, etc. Such is why the saying "beauty is only skin deep but ugly cuts straight to the bone" exists.  Low morals and ethics are something a person is raised with. One can almost say that they are born with low morals and ethics. Such **is** why they behave so. If that wasn't the case everyone would behave like them and gold-diggers, manipulators, etc. wouldn't be the unsavory even undesirable outcasts of normal society.

muscularbumblebee · Accepted Answer

Not all good diggers are bad.. the ones that use men and pretend to love them before breaking their heart yes sure but if it’a mutually known eg. She tells him she’s after money if he’s ok with it and likes him and dates him and he’a ok with it, I don’t see how there’s anything wrong with that

nolabels · Answer

I think that they'd need a hell of a wake-up call to even become aware of their behavior, much less find a need to change to be necessary, or even desirable.
After all, if what you're doing is working for you, why should you change, unless you happened to have spontaneously had a spiritual awakening.

HawkPerception · Answer

I believe people can change if something significant enough in their life forces them to change. But inherently, I believe people remain the same. Also, if I knew they had a history for gold digging, manipulating, cheating, etc, I would not be attracted to them in the first place. I wish there was a label for those types of people. Luckily I haven't been screwed in that sense as of yet.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

I think it is a deeply engrained pattern of living that they for some reason developed along the line, because it served some sort of purpose. Yes I do think they can change if they realize that they need to and they put forth the effort. I'm not sure how many actually do change though.

natured · Answer

Personally I HOPE THEY WILL CHANGE, but in reality I know they won't.
Because I know people (MEN AS WELL that's why I said people) that married their partners because of money and standards.
It's sick to me, also because I'm used to work and earn money, and it FEELS BETTER to earn your own money.
Sure, I might not be able to afford a Gucci Bag, but who even needs a Gucci Bag when I have a happy life.
Sigh

MCheetah · Answer

Not really, no. Being such a person isn't a passive decision. It takes a lot of energy and effort. It's like the difference between manslaughter and murder, with murder being premeditated and carefully thought out. So I doubt they'd be remorseful about it. I guess anything's possible, but it just seems unlikely.

Seinna · Answer

Maybe they can, but I'm none of those so I wouldn't waste my time trying to change them. It's not about the action itself, but the kind of person they'd have to be to act it out.

SupremeWarlord · Answer

Gold-diggers are not bad people per se, I only see them as bad people if they are fooling/lying yo their partner, if they don't have anything to hide they aren't doing anything wrong.

Having said that, I think yes, I prefer believing that people are always redeemable.

crazy8000 · Answer

If they choose to.
Usually happens when something happen to them that change them as a person.

Otherwise not really.
People usually only want others to change since it's hard work when they aren't ready. just like addiction.

We also have the thing their attitude prevents them to see they need to.

We could say it's sort of like a personality disorder like narcissist/sociopath. it's something we can develop to and develop away from if we really want to.

boombastik · Answer

It would take a major enlightenment! Once they are used to a certain lifestyle they feel entitled, doing almost anything to maintain it including murder.

Adam1978 · Answer

No it's a to big character flaw to change. So in practice it will never happen, all you get is different forms of manipulations or way of picking targets. If they change at all.

Anonymous · Answer

They CAN but... gold-digging, manipulating, etc... have been a big part of their survival strategies in life that they already tend to do these things on a subconscious level. For them to change they must combine self-control and other ways to survive.

1sexyrobot · Answer

Yes, but don't count on being the person to change them. Sometimes these people change, but it's something they have to choose to do on their own.

MoonStalker · Answer

I think if they tried... But they don't try... I think it's easier for some people to just be bad and mean than to try and be kind... it's sad

Coulis · Answer

Anything is possible. Perhaps they can; what I know is that I'm not sticking around to find out!

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

They are, but it usually takes them having their hearts broken to realise the hurt they have caused first.

worldscolide · Answer

Anyone can change, but they have to want to.. Most simply do not want to.

JosyJosy · Answer

I think so, not everyone, but some. Either way, I wouldn't stick around to find out. They can change for the better with someone else or on their own

AdithyaR · Answer

Everyone has the potential to change, what matters is if they are willing to put in the effort. Except cheaters, I'll never accept that they changed.

Better_off_here · Answer

i like to think that all people can change and that we all can do better but i guess i have seen too many persons who were bad to me so i guess i may go with No,

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

I voted no, not because they cannot change but because they will almost always simply choose not to.

Anonymous · Answer

in my opinion all girls are gold diggers... why? Because they feel like they are so valuable that even when they meet a guy who is as attractive and educated that he still needs something more. 99% of the time its money. I guess 1% of the time its an extra big dick

Dkc123 · Answer

Only if they return all the money, gifts or the spendings done on them...😁

msc545 · Answer

No. This behavior is the result of a personality disorder, and it does not get better, unfortunately.

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

Yes temporarily, but they'll go back to their cruel ways

MadBoy · Answer

As much as I wanna believe it and wow do I want to believe it, I don't think so... It all depends on how life goes for them I guess.

Dchrls78104 · Answer

Yes, but only if they wish to; the responsibility for taking any such decision to change would lie solely with themselves.

DarkCarousel · Answer

Not if they continue to get rewarded for their behavior.

Anonymous · Answer

It's possible, but I think someone who is a gold digger, for example, is unlikely to actually change. It's a combination of female nature and poor character, and that combo would be difficult to overcome.

SlightlyEccentric · Answer

I find it rather amusing that all girls so far voted yes. Gee I wonder why.

fred_durst · Answer

i believe it is easier to move a mountain than trying to change a person , so..

Dinosaursandanime65 · Answer

Yeah, but the chances of it happening……. Uhhhh I’m not seeing big numbers here

havingfun101 · Answer

Let's be real: virtually all gold diggers are women.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Yes. Change isn't impossible. You'll be amazed how people have turned around their lives for the better when everyone count them off.

InferiorElegy · Answer

Definitely not, those who say yes are such people trying to make others believe their lies so they'll fall into their traps.

anylolone · Answer

Everyone can change, and everyone can change for the better. Doesn't mean it's likely.

hellacray · Answer

No...  Once they get a taste I don't think they will go back.

es20490446e · Answer

They need to realize the value of doing so, by themselves. They will rarely change because of you.

NerdDG · Answer

Once you think about money, you always think about money.

topramen1565 · Answer

Possibly but it really depends on if they want to change

Massageman · Answer

AOC And Harris will always be the same, especially the manipulation part.

Djaay · Answer

No... never. They just justify they're means with other onslaughts as they're life continues to roll on.

legalboxers · Answer

hell to the fuck no. Thats how they are, you can't change them.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, usually after they get old and loose their looks.

Omario2049 · Answer

They never change, they just change their strategy.

FamilyGuy2020 · Answer

To be perfectly honest NO once a Gold Digger is always a Gold Digger

Asianguy123 · Answer

Rich men and hot models get whatever they want and the next next next..

Hotboy_booblover · Answer

Once a gold digger.. always a gold digger and I dont see anything wrong with it.. if I was a girl I wudve done rye same thing

Leavesbound · Answer

Anyone can evolve. But do they want to?

jhonwick · Answer

Deep down all girls are gold diggers and i'm fine about that..

Anonymous · Answer

Once a gold digger, always a gold digger in my opinion.

insignificant_person · Answer

Everybody can change.

llorando · Answer

They can change, but it's extremely rare.

FatherJack · Answer

Unlikely , so voted no

serious · Answer

Highly unlikely.

he-takes-a-part · Answer

Are you a gold digger

DeltaCharlieEcho · Answer

Once a manipulator, always a manipulator

DiegoO · Answer

Yeah, not everyone is the same.

red_knight · Answer

Oh yes.. for the right price $$$$$$$

Suziedicostah · Answer

I don't think so!

Do you think gold-diggers, manipulators and users can change for the better?

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Do you think that people can change?

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