Now I want you think of the person that wronged you the most personally and ask yourself, can you forgive them?
I haven’t really opened up to a lot of people about this but select few people know about this. The past 7 months ( from January to July), I was promoted in the company at the same time my division gained a new boss. This boss was incredibly lazy which forced me to do all of the work while he played games on his phone and barely did anything, he repeatedly committed multiple sexual harassment statements and jokes towards me and the one woman in the office, etc etc etc.
Long story short when I left the company , the rest of the company learned that he didn’t know anything about the job and it was obvious to everyone within the company and the clients that I was doing all of the work and it’s completely falling apart. Now the hatred in me was happy to hear this ( which is still an ongoing issue). So even though karma is kicking his ass, I think about the family he has that’s about to lose their income when he’s fired ( I’ve met his kids and helped watched them and helped them with their homework at my job).
So now I’m forgiving him and I honestly wish you to find that happiness/ serenity to forgive whoever wronged you personally. Let me hear your story.
I can
No I can’t right now
I’ll never forgive them
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I wanted to take the time to let everyone know this will be my final question on the site and I will be closing my account by end of this week.
It was fun while it last but this site just isn’t the same like it used to be years ago and the toxicity of it has truly evolved into something really ugly.
I don’t think I’ll be returning in the future but anything is possible. All I ask is you all learn to forgive one another on here and try to show a bit more respect.
I wish you the best! Love you
Are you capable of forgiving the person you hate the most?
When I was about 5, my mom was single and a man came into our lives. My mom was a recovering addict, and this man used drugs and tried to get her to use again. He got her pregnant, and my mom married him. My little sister was born when I was six. This man physically abused me and my mom, and she packed up our things and escaped to another state one night. We left in secret, telling no one, not even her mother, who was totally enamored of this guy and anytime my mom told grandma about the abuse she was shut down and the blame put on her.
Anyway, we moved several states away, but this guy hired a detective and found out where we were and came back into our lives. He continued to abuse my mom mostly, and me as well if I ever got in the way or tried to defend her. For example one time I was about 11 and this 31 year old man was choking my mom out on the couch screaming that he was going to kill her. I had a friend over in my room and we were playing. When I heard the screaming in the living room and saw what was happening, I ran to the closet and grabbed a ski pole, then ran back and screamed "get away from my mom!". He saw me and my friend and dropped my mom, grabbed the ski pole out of my hand and threw it away, and yelled at my friend to go home. The 31 year old man then proceeded to slam me against the piano and kicked me repeatedly down the long hall until we reached my room, where he gave me a few extra kicks through the door and left me laying there. I don't really know what happened after that I kind of blacked out from pain and trauma and don't remember more.
My mom told me later that when my sister was around 7 or 8, he started to molest her, fingering her and doing sexual things with her, which I had no idea about until I was out of the house and much older. My sister doesn't remember anything, and there is a possibility that my mom made it up, but also a distinct possibility she didn't. She's dead now though.
So anyway, yeah I never thought I would be able to forgive this guy, he's more or less a monster. I used to fantasize about kidnapping and torturing him to make him pay for being such a piece of shit. Keeping him in a dungeon type place and just make his life hell until he begged for me to kill him and beyond. But as time went by, I grew up, got some perspective. Came to understand that people do f*'d up things and have issues, but they're suffering as well. I don't think that makes any of what he did right, but I am able to forgive him and move on with my life. I don't really think about him and when I do, it's not with any negative feelings; he's just a troubled man who I had the misfortune of being around when I was young.
So I don't even know if this counts, since I don't actually hate him or anyone. But I used to, so that's as close as it comes.
For me, I notice it isn't a matter of forgiving the person. Tis a matter of forgiving whatever is pulling the strings! Or at least coming to terms with the brutal nature of reality...
I say this because, since I wouldn't resent a program for acting in the way it was designed to act, I wouldn't feel accurate if I were to do that with my fellow man. As even I have acted in ways I would not design to be so. Even I have said things I would never permit to be said.
Also best of luck on your recovery from gag. I don't remember having any conversations with you but I do have a positive feeling when I look at your profile name & picture so you must have said some admirable stuff.
When you truly love someone, you forgive them. You don't put yourself back in that position to be hurt again but you forgive them. Not so that they will have peace but so that you can have it. I know a few people that have done me wrong and they haven't apologized for anything. But while we don't talk and aren't friends I forgive them. Because I need to have peace. And while you're enjoying life they might never be at peace with themselves because their deeds will forever torment them. And even if I feel like I'd never be able to forgive them that thought usually does the trick. lol
There are two people who right now I cannot forgive. Maybe I will be able to eventually. If they were to apologize and seem sorry for how they treated me I could forgive them but I am not going to ask, I am afraid to see them actually.
I have a couple other people who I can forgive at this point, who I could not forgive a few years ago but enough time has passed, specifically one girl in HS and one girl I know from college.
All of these are long stories for another place maybe!!
Awww I'm sad to hear you're leaving, FDD. I actually just told someone, in pm, about you last week, and the origin of your name, and said how cool and clever you are. And he said, "What a wonderful story."
There is one person, and unfortunately they are in my family, who has treated me the absolute worst of anyone in my life. I did forgive them when they apologized once. But they flare up regularly, routinely insulting and condemning me, so eventually I had no choice but to cut all contact. The situation has changed now, and there is another reason we no longer are involved in each other's lives. But to your point, I wholeheartedly agree, and for the majority of people, forgiveness really is the answer.
You were always pleasant, reasonable, and fair, here, to my knowledge, and the site will be the worser for your loss. But I fully understand your reasons for permanently leaving. I wish you all the best, too. You were a sweetheart and have a good head on your shoulders. (That's what I also said about you.)
I voted 'A', by the way. Apparently that's why I also echo your sentiments about the site. If it wasn't for some very, very, sweet and special people here, I would have left too. But I do owe the site my gratitude for creating this platform. In some ways it has worsened my view of humanity; but in others, I have been reminded of the kindness of strangers. (Who are no longer strangers.)
My mother? I can "forgive her," if not for my own piece of mind, but never forget. And I still have no emotions or family attachment to her, to this day. I do NOT have a "family," only "relatives" at best. They literally mean nothing to me, emotionally. If she FINALLY dies, I'll feel nothing. And I wouldn't go to her funeral if it was down the street from me on a Saturday. I have a Jupiter-sized amount of baggage due that piece of sh*t who neglected to raise me. But I've made my peace with my own damaged childhood years ago. It no longer bothers me, other than how it affected my physical health.
As for your manchild boss, screw him! He needs to learn from his mistakes, and he'll never do that without some kind of life lesson or punishment.
fortunately, I have not been in a situation in which I ended up hating someone or I've been done so wrong, that kind of wrong... so I really don't know what I would do
hate is a very strong feeling... and perhaps the heaviest, so I would like to think that I would still not want to harbor any of that within me... my idea of forgiving is healing myself first and then let go of those (such strong) feelings of resentment towards someone and burden within myself
to me that's what forgiveness mean, forgive and forget about the ill feelings for my own good, so I sure hope I would be capable to do this, I just can't tell for sure right now
I really loved the moral you're giving while departuring from this site. Best of luck for your future life! Now that I realise, I really enjoyed your posts. Thanks for that and your humor.
For the question, I may dislike few people but I haven't yet hated anyone. I was on verge to hate someone but I didn't.
Honestly no, I don't think I could. With time I can let shit go, but if it is someone I legit hate the most? No. I would be more satisfied watching them spontaneously combust.
Going off the update, that sucks to hear man, but I get it. Hope the road in life you go down is filled with happiness and success. You were easily one of the most chill guys on the site.
The single way I would ever forgive him is if he went back to a time machine and erase all the time and years I've wasted with him. If he returns back my years and money he scammed me with ok. Since it's impossible to go back in time, that's the answer of when I'll ever forgive that evil narcissist. Therefore my answer is:
I don't do forgiveness. And if someone is truly sorry they shouldn't need my forgiveness to spur them into becoming better as a person. I will acknowledge whatever work they put into becoming a better person, though. Forgiveness doesn't really enter into it.
I am never going to forgive my rapist who brutally raped me and tried to kill me. He has even come around a few times trying to get forgiveness, won't ever do it.
He destroyed my life, ruined me, damaged me forever and shortened my expected life span.
If it was only as simple as you, I would totally forgive them though.
Ig it depends how badly they hurt you but personally I couldn't forgive them. Because they hurt me too much. All I really can do it move on and accept what happened.
Not everyone can forgive someone. There are people who really hurt people and it can fuck with them their whole life. Like rapists or something really strong. Maybe bad parents. If you can forgive the person you hate most then I consider you really strong. But they say time cures it all but honestly time is too short and all I can really do is move on from it.
I don't personally hate anyone that much, so I guess I could on an individual basis. However, there are people I don't even know personally but because of what they do, I couldn't forgive them. For example, human traffickers, especially of children.
Avada kedavra, crucio, and imperio are the UNforgivable curses and can give the curser a one-way ticket to Azkaban. According to the Qur’ān, G-d would forgive everything EXCEPT disbelief in Him, after one believes. If my folks never even wish they could forgive me for some petty rubbish, why should I forgive them?
I have to pray. When you hate someone. You hurt yourself more. Because many times. They don’t care that you hate them. They don’t care you’re angry. They probably give it no thought.
No, he tried to ruin my life by falsely accusing me of some pedophile bullshit. The supposed victim testified on my behalf in front of all of his friends.
I'm a pretty chill person overall but some actions are unforgivable.
Depends on what they did. If it was something really bad, I don't think I would be able to forgive them, but at the same time I don't wish them anything malicious
It’s the best thing anyone can do and I’ve found out that this approach is good for ourselves because by growing negative feeling, we will probably get serious diseases like ms, high blood pressure, ….
