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Are people contradicting when it comes to cheaters?

Every single time there is a cheater posting, I've noticed this:

- If a cheater feels bad but doesn't know what to do, many poster kept telling him/her ''Confess at least, tell him/her what you did, don't even try to trickle truth, they deserve the whole truth, you POS''.

- If a cheater posted about confessing to everything and telling the whole truth, poster still judged and say ''You only confess just to relieve your guilt, you're a POS''.

So which is it? If you don't confess or don't tell the whole truth you're a lying, POS and if the cheater confesses and tells the truth, you're still a POS because you're only relieving your own guilt. It seems like a lose-lose thing. You're insulted for keeping them in the dark but also insulted for telling the truth.

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+1 y
Obviously the right thing is never get into the position of cheating, never doing it but some people are still doing it. If they cheat and don't tell, they get judged and people insist that you at least confess and not lie like a coward.
If the cheater really did the right thing by confessing (risking losing their partner), they're still judged for only doing it to relieve their guilt. That seems contradicting.
Are people contradicting when it comes to cheaters?
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