Do you agree with the advice "Don't Settle/Never Settle"?

[TenderFantasy]

If so, why do you believe it?

Have you ever settled and you did not regret it? Or did you settle and you did? !

Can apply to anything in your life, not just relationships/marriage, etc. Can be about your job too..

[DaveJord]

I mean I think we all do settle on some level, and those that don't live very unhappy lives. Being with someone, I mean truly being together means compromising. Over looking the bad, and appreciating the good. Nobody can be 100% perfect, there's always something... but when good outweights the bad your more forgiving.

So these people that never settle, I think it's sad. Sure don't over look Red flags... but not everything has to be a deal breaker just because they aren't exactly your everything.

[Alex8736]

everything has its pros and cons but if you feel the pros outweigh the cons after getting all the facts i would settle but that's just me 😇

[TenderFantasy]

Thanks, that's smart.

[SnowedIn]

I don't agree with that advice. I'm also not sure that "settle" is that much of a thing. Part of the problem is that we never have as many resources as we want to get the thing that theoretically isn't settling. So we get what our resources allow us to get. But just because I got a Corvette instead of a Ferrari doesn't mean I settled although that's what the advice would have us believe. Same for relationships. If I date Rachel instead of Jennifer, am I settling because Jennifer had longer hair and was more beautiful (or whatever the "settle" characteristics are)?

Here's the real danger in the advice to "don't settle/never settle": you pass by wonderful opportunities. Nothing is perfect. And no one is perfect. So, seeking that which isn't "settle" puts you in the position to miss everything great along the way.

[TenderFantasy]

Interesting. My high school friend at the time wrote this on my yearbook senior year and I've thought about it from time to time.

I like this quote because it allows someone to PUSH themselves to something greater than they thought would be possible! Take having a job: Do you think you would LIKE to work at McDonald's for the rest of your life, or would you like to work for a different job/career? Maybe one that you ACTUALLY like and that has bigger pay. If you had SETTLED for that McDonald's job, you'd probably always be wondering what it was like to get six figures (or at least 70k plus per year), getting prestige (rep) for your job, as well as the self-esteem and praises/promos within the company! If my dad had the "settled" mindset, he probably would have been happy with his high school education, and wouldn't have been motivated to get his MBA, and we wouldn't have been able to live in the suburbs! .. But yeah, I think there are pros and cons to everything, that's true!

[SnowedIn]

I really like what you wrote. And, actually, I agree with you. I think what's gnawing at me isn't what you wrote (the examples and the point about your dad) but what I see as the underlying message in the advice "Don't Settle/Never Settle". My concern is, what's enough? Again, you're absolutely right: we should work hard and strive for higher things. But if we take "Don't Settle/Never Settle" to it's extreme, your dad should have finished his Doctorate or achieved a second one. Lurking dangerously close to "Don't Settle/Never Settle" is the evil twin of "not good enough" or the saying one of my bosses had, "don't let perfect be the enemy of good". Anyway, I agree with you; didn't want this to be taken as argumenitive. :) Just wanted to add to the discussion.

[RavVid]

Never settle for less than your long list of unrealistic wants/requirements and what you deserve?

Good luck with that.

A billionaire who has his own mega company but wants to spend all his time listening to you instead of running and building said mega company.

[TenderFantasy]

Um, why do peole assume this question is about ME and me only? ! Lol.

[RavVid]

Wasn't. Intended a generic you to be taken but can see that it came off otherwise now.

[Anonymous]

What does settle actually mean and why would you want to?

You may be under the illusion you're superior to some of your suitors but that may just mean you are living off the experience of your distant youth or over inflated sense of self.

And if you are settling, there must be a reason why. Perhaps you are trading one aspect for another that matters to you more right now. As such, maybe you're not settling so much as compromising.

[TenderFantasy]

Wait, are you talking about me, or people in general?

[Opinion Owner]

A little bit of both.
I could say I settled for the woman I'm with as I believe I could in a perfect world have done better than her. But is that true?
Either I have lowered my standards because the real Ms Right did not work out or my standards were deluded in the first place and I'm not nearly as fabulous as I thought.

[Adaeva]

In relationships almost everyone must settle for who they can get. Otherwise, they would all marry movie stars and obviously that is impossible since for every movie star there are 100,000 people that would want to marry a movie star.

[TenderFantasy]

Hmm, interesting thanks.

[AnUglyBarnacle]

No, I don't, because someone is probably settling for the other person too.

[LiamJHayden]

No. If I never settle at all then I will be alone forever, because no partner is going to be perfect.