Why don't people believe me when I say that skunks can talk?

[Gummy_Cluster]

Skunks get a bad reputation for their self defense mechanism, but they are so cute, and friendly and much nicer than most humans. When Maxine and I met, she came to my sliding glass door at night and just smiled. I gave her an ice cream sandwich. She loved it. But the next night, she brought about 10 of her buddies with her. Crikey! I didn't have that many ice cream sandwiches, so I switched to peanut butter sandwiches. It turns out that skunks like peanut butter just as much as ice cream. Who knew? But it begs the question; how did the other skunk homies know to come to my door? I know they get together and talk. I'm not saying they speak English, but they speak in some sort of skunk talk. How else can you explain that amount of elusive animals showing up on my porch? Those little fuckers talk, and I think they gossip. I allowed Maxine to move into my storage closet, but I made it clear that wouldn't allow her shacking-up with her skunk boyfriends. She was cool with that. What does it mean?

[NamerOfStars]

Because people are biased against them. I'm not sure why, but at some point, humanity was turned against these helpful, valuable animals. Be they original recipe, mini:

water:

coke:

murder:

or death:

on top of stench (as you yourself have noted), people just don't LIKE weasels. You might be thinking "what about badgers?". Well, weasels are animals, and badgers aren't- they're small, animal-shaped bundles of anger and hate. Both of the Potters- Beatrix AND Harry- lied to you about this; an actual visit to Mister Badger would involve both Mister Toad and Captain Vole being devoured. Likewise, "wild weasel" is not an animal, but a form of air defense suppression; I think the Air Force was never a dictionary.

But being mammals, and predatory mammals on top of that, weasels have pretty advanced brains, and they DO communicate, though not through speech. The idea of "come this way; I found a source of food" is pretty simple, and MOST communal animals have a way of saying that. For weasels, it'd be no problem at all.

[Gummy_Cluster]

Honey Badgers don't give a shit.
www.youtube.com/watch

[NamerOfStars]

Very true- I suppose it's less "old world badgers" and more "European badgers". But the actions of the honey variety just support my claim that they're not animals.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Most social animals have ways of communicating with eachother, humans are just so exceptionally complex with languages that we forget that languages start out much simpler.

[misogynistic_pig]

Did you happen to forget to take some psychiatric medication?

[SnowedIn]

They are the people who don't believe in Narnia.

[gorydetails]

You’re the skunk whisperer.

[Gummy_Cluster]

Yes, but not just skunks. I speak some squirrel, and a bit of raccoon. I told this as a joke, but I'm not kidding. I love all animals, but humans are not my favorite. I wish I would have saved my raccoon videos, because I would show you. Raccoons have a social order. I would put a sack of fruit loops on my porch, and the raccoons came. I don't know if it was the king or queen, but it got first dibs on the fruit loops. The rest stood back and waited for their turn.

[gorydetails]

Did you see the videos of the dude feeding hotdogs to the raccoons on his deck? He had a ton of them too.

[Gummy_Cluster]

No, but I saw a guy who fed pancakes to bears, and their stomachs drug on the ground. When we were kids, we fed candy and marshmallows to bears, and they loved it. But when you run out, you're not getting a high-five from the bears. The bears don't get how you can run out of stuff. They think you're holding out on them.

[Jennz6]

I’m not sure 🤔