Is cowardice a really big turn off for women?

[Anonymous]

Being a coward.

Why and how? Do we have to risk our life for you if your bag gets snatched by a mask thief

Yes it is

No it’s not

[SteveSmith1985]

Shit man... I'm... genuinely confused by your question.

I mean... yea... cowardice is definitely a universal turn-off for women. That seems so self-evident that it's something that doesn't even get talked about. It's "a given".

Now, I am NOT one of those guys who sees the world in terms of all that alpha, beta bullshit. I'm the furthest thing from the kind of guy who is going to be impressed by somebody whose brave. I'm not the type to ever unironically tell a dude to "man-up". I've got zero problem showing my feelings, or showing my sensitive side. If something hits me feel a "certain type of way" I've got zero problem telling you... yea dude, I'll totally cry. (but... manly tears... obviously)

What I'm saying is... I'm the type of guy who thinks all that macho bullshit is sad and ridiculous. I don't fuck with any of it. I often make fun of it.

But... what you said here... just doesn't compute... even for me. It seems alien. Like I don't understand where you're coming from.

I am going to assume... that what's happening here is that you and I are missing each-other in what we're calling "cowardice"

So the answer to your question about the masked purse snatcher example, is: "No. that is not what women want or expect".

Trying to chase-down the masked guy who just snatched your girl's purse would be fucking stupid. No girl would be impressed by that (actually a small minority might be... but those girls... you don't want anyway). But definitely no girl--of guy for that matter--is going to think you're a coward for NOT attempting to chase-down that purse-snatcher.

That's a great way to get stabbed or shot. That's not "brave" that's fucking dumb. And most importantly it's unnecessary.

But let's take another example: Let's say, you're with your girl walking down a dark alley (because you're an idiot apparently), and somebody pulls a knife on you. But he doesn't want your money. He wants your girl.

Yea dude. You are 1000% expected to attack that guy. I don't care if you weigh 80 pounds and you've got a serious heart condition. You better fucking be dead in that alleyway before anything happens to that girl.

I don't care if that's your wife of 20 years, or a girl you took out on a first date. You ARE expected to not be a coward when shit-gets-real.

But... odds are pretty good that you'll never find yourself in a situation where you're left with no choice but to "physically defend your woman". Those situations are fairly rare.

So what it means in the practical, everyday sense is this:

Girls find it unattractive if a guy fails to stand up for himself (or her) when he ought-to.

Girls find it unattractive if a guy allows others to fuck-with him, mistreat him or take advantage of him.

They aren't looking for a dude looking to fight in their defense. That's... not at all where they're coming from.

But... you know how, as a guy... when you care about a girl, you feel that instinct to want to protect her? To want to be the one to fend-off all harm? Surely you know what I'm talking about. It's another one of those rarely actually voiced "givens". If... you're unfamiliar with the instinct I'm talking about... I don't even know what to tell you.

I'll assume you do know that instinct I'm talking about.

Well, it's basically an extension of that.

Just like there's an instinct to want to protect a girl you come to view as "yours"... there's equally an instinct on the part of women, to SEEK that protection from the man they've come to view as "hers."

Again, that doesn't mean at all that you need to be macho, or tough, or go chasing down purse-snatchers. You can be a small dude who sits at a computer all day and has never set foot in a gym. That's not what the "cowardice" means (it's not what women are looking for/expecting)

But... if you give the impression... that you AREN'T someone willing to get stabbed in that hypothetical alleyway if shit DID get-real...

That is indeed universally unattractive. On an almost instinctual level.

Basically, don't be someone who allows themselves to be fucked with... and that's about it. Most guys pass this test without even thinking about it. Hope this helps. 🙂

[melanieeeB]

That was very well said and on point 🙏🏼 I totally agree with you!

[SteveSmith1985]

@melanieeeB Thank you so much for saying that. What you've just done, is to give everything I just told this dude... ACTUAL legitimacy.

This was a case of "one dude trying to tell another dude what women want". Usually, that carries little weight. Why should this dude think that what I'm telling him is true or accurate. He wouldn't. It's just "some other dude's oppinion"... and usually that's pretty worthless.

But having a woman come by and say: "Yep, I agree with that"... really makes all the difference in the world. Hopefully now this dude WILL give some weight to what I'm trying to tell him here. Thanks. 🙂

[melanieeeB]

I hope so. Until now, at least on this page, when dudes be asking questions like I don't know "do girls care about his car" and the poll is a majority of no's, the dudes still come around saying we're lying... so yeah. It's difficult.

[SteveSmith1985]

@melanieeeB I guess you're right... I am assuming that this guy isn't one of the idiots (I try and give people the benefit of the doubt).

This made me laugh. Obviously I come across the idiot-dudes on GAG. But my interactions with them are limited. I never really thought about it before you mentioned it... but I can totally imagine that happening.

I donno... I feel like I've got a decent grasp on "how women tend to think/view something." I feel like I'm better than most guys at that. But... I learned literally everything I know about women... from... women.

I don't understand how some dude would try and tell women that they're wrong about... themselves!

You know... I think that's the overall general problem with ALLLL the stupid bullshit guys are buying into (The alpha/beta shit; or "women REALLY want you to be a jerk"; or "My weak jaw-line makes me unloveable")

ALL of that bullshit came from a group of dudes talking to EACH OTHER with zero input from actual women. So some motherfucker comes up with something that "sounds right" to these other guys... and all of a sudden there's all these super-fucked-up views/beliefs/philosophies springing up. All of them are fucked, and don't reflect reality... because these dudes didn't include any input from any actual women... at all!

[melanieeeB]

Yeah no you do come across like a normal ass man 🙏🏼 and you're right!
I learned about guys and their games from well experience and asking questions to my cousin and male friends and well listening to them.

I honestly don't understand those alpha crap shit. Where did it came from? The majority of women and men laugh about them and we can do a reality check, see what people we have in our everyday life, etc... but for some reason they don't listen and have this image of men and women that is just not true... I don't know

[Anonymous]

Of course it is. It’s a huge turnoff to women. They also give men a lot less leeway on this than vice versa too. Men get annoyed and frustrated with females display this behavior (and many do it often) but women become literally disgusted with men who act this way. Men are also generally face a lot more hostility in the world are constantly tested to “man up”. So if we don’t rise to expectations we always risk this

However there is a difference in having lesser moments vs. being a true coward.

In a very dark moment years ago when I had several consecutive bad events happen in my life and was facing great uncertainty. I then made one of the biggest mistakes of my entire dating life and I called myself “a coward” to my then girlfriend. We were already having problems but that was the nail in the coffin in the dying relationship. She completely lost any remaining attraction and respect she had for me after saying that. She dumped me a week later

I am NOT of course “a coward”. I have been completely independent all my life and had to fight for everything I have. But I’ve had moments of great uncertainty and insecurity in very dark moments. I always persevered though but at times I felt like I couldn’t.

But I will never ever call myself that again to anyone (including myself) and especially to a woman. As a man I got to be a man no matter what.

[ShellyB]

There is a difference between being careful and being a coward. Yes being a coward would be a big turnoff, actually I doubt I could date someone I felt that way about.

However that does not mean I want a guy to strut around getting in fights. If my handbag was grabbed, I would like my guy to get it back if he can, but I don't want him to get killed trying. I want him to have good judgment and approach it in a level headed way although with the goal of taking care of me. JMO!

[melanieeeB]

Who wants to be with a coward? Lol

And no you don't have to chase down someone or fight, that would be some "alpha" bullshit and no one even likes that smh
But have a spine, confidence and be able to stand up for yourself and your loved ones.

[Sour-rose]

Yes. I don't want a little bitch who can't even sit still in his seat for a R-rated movie, much less a pg-13 scary movie. And flinches when a guy bumps into him who's bigger than him and me? I don't flinch because oopsy-daisy brah. And flinches when a mexican guy just says "what?"

Yeah, no. He won't be able to keep up with me

[Anonymous]

You don't "have to" do anything. But there are consequences to being a puss boy.

Women want to feel safer when they are with their man. That's in their DNA, dude. And men want to protect their woman; it's in our DNA. At least it's in OUR DNA. If you don't feel protective of your woman, then maybe relationships aren't for you.

[little_bird1]

Yes it is in my opinion, not to the extreme of chasing down the thief but year girl needs to feel safe in every moment. Courage is a big turn on.

[FreyaRed]

Depends. If he doesn't want to die in a pointless war, it's even a plus point. If he dodges an unavoidable confrontation, it's stupidity and a turn off.

[mobiusforniner]

Its not that the guy is a "coward" because he is afraid. Its ok to be afraid. What women find very unattractive is man who is indifferent and undecisive.

[Sixgunsound]

Like it or not men are supposed to provide and protect. A boy who will do neither does not deserve to waste society's time or resources or see his worthless genes passed on.

[Agape93]

Yeap, have a spine. I don't need you to fight my battles, but at least fight your own. Or you know, don't be anon, like cowards tend to do.

[Sixgunsound]

Well said. I stopped allowing anon replies to my posts since people liked to talk trash when they wouldn't risk having yo make new profiles.

[exitseven]

Even women that will saythey are okay with a guy that won't fight will find a reason to dump him

[inhua]

this is one of the unwritten rules of life yet feminists still try to preach gender equality

[Anonymous]

Cowardice isn't always bad. If you "chicken out" from a fight/war you can't win, that's your survival instincts kicking in and preventing you getting a Darwin award.

[genericname85]

sure. and rightfully so, cause cowardice is a horrible human trait in general.

[pupluv45]

is a woman with a ripped muscular body really that big of a turn off to men?

[UmbrusNightshade]

It is for me. I am a man and I am interested in women. Biologically speaking men have a greater capacity for muscle and women hold fat in certain spots more than men. That defines the classical masculine and feminine physiques. Honestly the chances of a woman being ripped without performance enhancing drugs is slim. in my opinion 90% of the time a woman is unattractive if she has so little body fat you see visible abs.

[pupluv45]

@UmbrusNightshade

well women are biologically designed to see men as strong protectors. so a coward really is a turn off to women.

[pupluv45]

@UmbrusNightshade

[ Honestly the chances of a woman being ripped without performance enhancing drugs is slim.]

it is totally possible for women to be ripped and have abs. I am a naturally muscular woman myself. I have wide broad shoulders, big strong chest muscles, thick waist, tough hard back and thick strong muscular thighs. I'm genetically gifted but also workout

[UmbrusNightshade]

I wasn’t talking at all about that. Just about overly muscular women. Heck, men see cowards as less than as well so if course women don’t find that attractive.

[pupluv45]

@UmbrusNightshade

Well if you dont like manly women. Women also dont like girly men

[UmbrusNightshade]

Again not saying anything to the opposite. We’re in the same page.

[Anonymous]

No, look at most women on here. Most are drawn to cowards. 😆😆😆

[Kingofkings1992]

Of course. You’re not really this dumb, are you? No one respects a cowardly person.

[Guy13]

People do not enjoy being around cowardice.

[WhitneySnow]

Agree with @melanieeeB

[anon1903]

This sounds like a horror movie trope.

[Iron_Man]

Women don’t like cowards

[Anonymous]

Depends on the context.