Does helping with a panic attack make you feel happy? If it does, are you a bad person for it?

[Anonymous]

This could be in general, with a stranger or a partner or such. One of my exes had anxiety and seizures, and while the relationship was fun, I particularly enjoyed helping her through panic attacks and trying to keep her grounded or bringing her back to reality.

Of course, naturally, I wished she didn't have to deal with the stress of such things, but having someone trust me while their mind was in flight mode felt wonderful. I also like comforting partners while they're crying, so I guess that's related in a loose way.

I just want to know, is there anything wrong with feeling that way? I feel guilty for enjoying someone's suffering, because I'd get to be a hero for a moment. Nothing bad happened to make us split up, and it was a healthy break up, but I do miss being able to help someone with a mental battle.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you have Saviour Complex. You enjoy other peoples suffering because you like to step in to he the hero. I’d honestly suggest you go to a therapist.

[Asker]

See, I've been considering that. I also have considered I have an inferiority complex as well.

Either way, I do agree with therapy, for multiple reasons, but it's just something I haven't been bothered to go do. I can hardly take care of myself sometimes, even simple things. Depression, of course, present as well.

Therapy is scary to start, and costs money. I take pride in not being a danger to anyone, as much as I can help it.

[Opinion Owner]

If you’re suffering with depression as well then I’d seriously recommend it. Or some kind of support system for yourself. From what you’re saying it also sounds like you enjoy caring for other people because you struggle to care for yourself. Been there as well. You need to look after yourself.

[Asker]

I appreciate the advice, Anon, but as soon as the topic turns to concern about me I want to skedaddle. Why should I care about self care when a small part of my brain keeps reminding me I don't matter?
I can squeeze out some purpose in my life as long as others are validating me. Like, yeah, I understand my self worth is irrational, but I'm prepared to live in misery for a long time if I have to. I'm stubborn. And when it's all over, it won't even matter anyway. My overall happiness isn't valuable in the big picture; making small positive impacts on others makes the world better overall.

[Opinion Owner]

Because why not make the most of it whilst you’re here? Everything doesn’t necessarily have to have a purpose, but wouldn’t you rather enjoy your time? Find something that makes you happy, a hobby and maybe invest time into it. Explore, meet people, try new things. Make the most of it. Tell yourself everyday that you deserve to feel happiness just as much as anyone else.

[Asker]

Again, I appreciate the advice, but I think I'm going to have to disagree for now. I'm not going to take any more of your time, I don't want you to give me therapy and life advice for free. You don't have to keep replying. You seem nice, and I hope life goes well for you, but I'm starting to feel bad about this. Thank you anyway. 🫶

[Opinion Owner]

Please don’t feel bad about it. You’re not wasting my time at all. But I respect your wishes. If you need to chat then I’m happy to. Take care.

[OddBeMe]

Anxiety and seizures aren’t the same thing. Not in the same ballpark.