My mind and body stop during the fight, how can I solve this problem?

[Anonymous]

I tried to be rational and avoid road rage but things got escalated and I had to fight this guy. When the fight started I couldn't move a muscle, my mind and body got frozen and he punched me without me doing anything.
I'm bigger and I looked stronger but like I said I froze without doing a thing
I'm not a coward, maybe I don't have enough experience or got into a lot of fights
How I can deal with this problem?

[Levin]

Maybe a martial arts class will be developmental and provide a safe environment to explore these feelings. Having power is one thing but being able to control it is another. You will get people pushing your boundaries in these environments and you can learn to stick up for yourself.

That and some good therapy may be helpful.

by the way, give yourself some credit. Training and preparedness is one thing. But the actual reality of the situation and the fear is not easy to deal with.

Having said that, the key is to learn to keep your boundaries without getting involved in fights or whatever. Getting your ego beat up is not the end of the world. Fighting should only be used in genuine threat situations, in my opinion.

[Asker]

💯/ agree

[boggboss]

Go to some type of fighting training that involves sparing to get u use to being in that situation

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

That’s the instinct. When attacked, Freeze.

My instinct is “Attack” 10 times stronger.

But I am a girl, I have learned being more girly and I don’t go around attacking anyone.

[Asker]

I don't go around and attack people, I freeze when people attack me. I'm not a coward, it's just something inside me telling me to do nothing. Maybe the way my father raised me affected me differently. Hope I figure out a way to fix me

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I don’t think you are a coward…

[Asker]

I'm not, but I feel like I'm acting like one

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

What goes through your mind when you freeze?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

You know, I was physically and emotionally abused in childhood. When I was getting beaten at the age of 7-8, I was smiling, just so I wouldn’t give my oppressor the belief that she broke me, I wanted her to see me smiling even at the face of pain.

Then one day at 15, when she slapped me real hard and was going to repeat it, I caught her arm and told her “Do this again, and you’ll regret, I promise.”

She stopped.

You need to stand up for yourself.

[Asker]

When I was a kid my father never trusted me and put in my mind that I was nothing but a troublemaker at all times. He raised me to never stand up for myself and forced me to dodge dealing with or facing my own problems. When I was a kid, every time I confronted him he abused me like shit. So, when I made an effort to face that guy I saw my father's image abusing me again which put my mind in a dead zone

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Next time, imagine your father’s face and do whatever you’d do to him now if you saw him abusing your little self.

[Asker]

😂😂😂
Yep, I'll
Thanks for taking the time to share your opinion

[msc545]

The best way to deal with this problem is not to be involved in fights to begin with. They are extremely dangerous to you and to others and they solve nothing. Where I live. If you get into a road rage fight you are probably going to jail for a fairly long period of time. Not worth it.

[Asker]

I understand what you mean. The problem is, when I was young my father controlled me as hell and raised me to never defend myself in any worse case scenario "Just freeze. You know, I feel like some demon inside me needs to be released, the chin that my father put around my neck a long time ago affects me truly badly. Anyway, thanks for taking the time to share your opinion

[Fuentes]

Ain't nobody getting close to me like that win, lose or draw we getting down

[DreamLife7]

Ok? We're not doctors